The topic for this week is from "As Bill Sees It" LOVE EVERYBODY? Not many people can truthfully assert that they love everybody Most of us must admit that we have loved but a few; that we have been quite indiffernt to the many. As for the remainder-well, we have really disliked or hated them. We AA's find we need something much better than this in order to keep our balance. The idea that we can be possevily loving a few, can ignore the many, and can continue to fear or hate anybody at all, has to be abandoned, if only a little at a time. We can try to stop making unreasonable demands upon those we love. We can show kindness where we had formerly shown none. With those we dislike we can at least begin to practice justice and courtesy, perhaps going out of our way at times to understand and help them. page 230 "As Bill Sees It"
Wow! What a smoker of a passage that one was. Ole Bill must of been on a role that morning... I really like this new topic " We can stop making unreasonable demands upon those we love. We can show kindnes where we had formerly shown none.
Here is something I can work daily. Change or Die... COD I still find myself entitiled and self centered to the extreem when it comes to my time and resources. Serve others or lose my sobriety is another way of pitting it. or The same old Perry will drink again.
Selfishness- self-centerdness! That we think, is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self seeking and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retailiate. Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt.
So our troubles are basically of our own making.
They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreem example of a self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so.
Above everything, we alcoholics MUST RID OF SELFISHNESS.
WE MUST, OR IT WILL KILL US!
GOD MAKES THAT POSSIBLE.
We had to have God's help.
Notice how every topic focuses on others -- even the first comment was about self-seeking slipping away -- one of the promises of this Program. Isn't love a commitment to be of service? That includes, of course, myself. The more self-caring I am, the more I can care for others. When I'm caring properly for myself I don't judge either, because I see myself in them. Identifying, not comparing. (Hey! There's a slogan for us!) It has to do with joining the human race instead of being a blob of super-sensitive, gluttonous ectoplasm! When I'm part of the human race, I DO love everybody and am willing to help if I can -- yes, always being observant of my own health and safety. Since I stopped dumping booze down my throat, I've been slowly maturing (really!) and finding myself in harmony with God's glorious world. That's what God designed me to be -- in harmony (love). "This is the day that the Lord hath made; let us rejoice and be glad in it."
This is one of those passages that makes me think (as it says in the Sixth Step): "Why -- that is perfection!" And I wonder if I'll ever be able to do it. Many times I wonder if I'll ever WANT to be able to do it! How can we love everybody? I can definitely learn to treat those I care about with respect, and even learn how to TOLERATE those I dislike. But love them? It seems impossible.
(After a few years in the program, I began to realize how amazing the Steps actually were! They were easy to talk about, but so hard to actually put in practice.)
The only way I can approach ideas in AA that I dislike or that seem impossible is to remember that all the other things I've learned through the Steps and the program have delivered exactly what was promised: sobriety, serenity, growth, and a far better way of life than I've ever had. So I always have to try, gracefully or not, willingly or not. Bring the body, as they say, and the mind (and heart?) will follow....
Good topic - thanks!
Sometimes it scares me that I get in the face what I put out.
This week I was a complete ungrateful non caring, self righteous, ego driven maniac. I was driven by Ive got to be right and how dare you get in my way of getting or interfering with my will.
I got just what I deserved a conscious slam in the face from my higher power. We had a meeting on the tenth step yesterday and I was put right again. What scared me was how quick I can loose this way of life with out vigilantly seeking it.
Hi I'm Bob and I'm an alcoholic
In my everyday life I try , really try to love people even ones I would never even think of loving. I try to treat others with care and compassion as I would like to be. This last week has been the worst in recovery.It has been very hard to try and even think about loving another when all I really want to do is tear someones head off. But with a lot of help from my HP I found that as I treated others with love even as I was forcing it I would feel a little better.As much as I didn't even want to be around anyone at all this week I had to do some things with others I could not bring up the old hate as I used to have. For me to justtry and show love and give love without expecting anything in return I received much.Thanks
My name is Joanie and I am an alcoholic. Unconditional love is the spirit on which ourfoundation was built . For me this teaches me that I cannot play God and judge another human bieng.It comes back to acceptence that I must love them as they are. When I give power to another human bieng or AA member I lose myself, and in losing myself I lose God 's power to let love into my life. When I think of someones character defects and they are asking for my help I must love them enough to tell them the truth, and help them with my experience strenth and hope to overcome them. They say we do not have to like everyone but we must love them.
I'm Barry an alcoholic,
Unconditional love phew thats a big order. As Barb said I am learning to tolerate those I dislike, and try to be there for those I love.
For alot of years I did'nt think I could love anyone, did'nt know what love was. But I wanted everyone to like and love me. So I tried to please most people,to my own selfish ends.
I was told somewhere that I should try to love everybody,but that I don't have to like everybody, or have everbody like me. To me this means if there is someone I dislike,I have to respect their rights as a humanbeing, but I have to invite them to my house for Dinner.
As far as the program goes though for that hour in the meeting I love everyone unconditionally and will share what sobriety I have to help them.
I don't know if I'll ever get to the Ideal love that old carpenter taught about. But I'll continue to be willing to try, one day at a time
I'm Tim and I'm an Alcoholic.
By the grace of God, the program and the fellowship of Alcoholic's Anonymous, I didn't drink today. That is the most loving thing I can do for you, me or anybody else! Love you.
And if you can't be... with the one you love... Then love the one your with!
Crosby, Stills and Nash..
Hi, I'm Kurtis and I'm an alcoholic.There are moments when I actually do love "everybody"Unfortunately, these moments are generally onlywhen I am alone and in meditation. When I get outinto the "real world" that love starts to wear alittle thin. The best I've been able to work up insome situations is a certain degree of tolerance.But hey, that's one heck of a lot better than whatI used to do.Thanks to this program, I can honestly say that Ihate no one today. There are people with whom Iam uncomfortable being around, but I wish them noill will.Inanimate objects are another story, for some reasonI can still get ticked off royally by a faultyappliance or a software bug. For some reason "Thisprogram is sick too, how can I be helpful to it?" just doesn't work. Any suggestions?(Thanks Perry for inviting me here from over at theCamel Lot)
Hi, I'm Mark and I'm an alcoholic. I'm Really getting alot out of what everybody is saying. It seems so easy to love everybody when they have something I want, or when they can do something for me. The part I'm learning (all be it slowly)is to love them, and pray for them even when they're doing something that upsets me, or that I don't agree with. Like Kurtis said, I don't hate any one. I just don't love some as much as others. But like Barry said also I have to respect them. Have a sober day! Mark
Hi everyone, I'm David and I'm definitely an alcoholic.
Wednesday night I was at a meeting and someone quoted a saying I haven't heard in awhile, but has been important to me. The statement:
Instead of loving things and using people. try using things and loving people.
Alot of my life, and even sometimes today, I can use people and love things. But this program and a loving God is teaching me to love people and use things. Love ya all!
Hi I'm Cherise and I'm an alcoholic. I really appreciate the things everyone has said. I think this is a really good topic. For me Tolerance is sometimes a hard thing. Like when someone doesn't get how this program works. But then I remember that this is a cunning, powerful, and baffling disease. In the beginning, when dealing with Children and Youth I pretty much hated everyone involved. But read somewhere that I have to think of the person as a sick friend and pray for them. That really worked for me. I don't have to like them and like someone said they don't have to like me, but to me, we are all God's children and God is love(in my life). When I was out there all I had was hate in me and for me. The most important thing I need is to know I love myself because if I don't love me, I can't love anyone else. Thanks for listening and sharing great stuff. Mark it's nice to see you in our group welcome! And we miss you too Dave!!!!!!!!!