Member: Thomas L.
Location:
Date: 1/17/98
Time: 10:51:41 PM

Comments

Hi, My name is Thomas and I'm an alcoholic

Spiritually Motivated

At this point in my recovery the only way that I can acquire any kind of significant serenity in my life today is to be spiritually motivated. What a change that is for me, when I think back to the old Thomas. I used to only think about me, me, me, and what's in it for me. I realize where it got me, totally unsatisfied with anything and nothing was enough. Although I constantly fall back to the default self centered mode daily, the difference is that I know it instantly, when I've done it or while it is happening and even now sometimes I realize it before and say no I am not going to do this because I know to the outcome.

This is the biggest area in my life that I've come to understand as change and personal growth. Through the fellowship and lessons in AA, God has given me the wisdom and desire to understand this and the tools to achieve this peace. I truly hope and pray that I might find the serenity of balance, which for me is only achieved through vigilance, a daily reprieve is all I get.

Love, Thomas


Member: Bob M.
Location: Indiana
Date: 1/18/98
Time: 12:44:51 AM

Comments

My name is Bob and I am an alcoholic. This is my first time at this meeting. This is a very good find for me. I had a spiritual awakening when I realized that I could change me - if I practiced the steps of this program to the best of my ability. The hope that came with that realization was enough to keep me coming back - one day at a time. Today, Spirituality to me is when my feet, my heart, and my mind are all in the same place at the same time. Those moments are fleeting and infrequent, but I try to hold on to them even as they pass. Today, I believe that those moments will continue to come, a little more frequently, and stay just a little longer, if I continue to practice these principles in all my affairs. I'm really glad to be here. With that I'll pass. Thanks for chairing, Thomas.


Member: mike v
Location:
Date: 1/18/98
Time: 1:34:29 AM

Comments

Hi I am mike and a alcoholic. I am just now beginning my sobriety again, after being out of AA for a couple of years. I know the only way I can stay sober is if I let my higher power into my life and try to do his will not mine. I believe I try to do things my way to much. I need AA meetings either online or in person to keep me focused on my spirituality. I am glad this site's here, because it helps me get out of myself. I am grateful to be sober today. That's all I have to say, thanks for shareing.


Member: Daryl B.
Location: Ft Nelson, B.C.
Date: 1/18/98
Time: 5:41:40 AM

Comments

Hi, I'm Daryl and I'm an alcoholic. I can sure see now what the people have been talking about, as far as things getting better. I came to my first meeting about seven years ago. I fought and struggled with everything for quite a while. I've kept going to meetings since then and am coming up on two years now. I've had a year and a half twice previous. Each time I drank, I had not gone to meetings for a couple of months. I've come to understand that it is not what has happened today that is important as how I reacted and what my part was in it. The promise " ...intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us." unfolds in my life most every day. I think I have finally let go of waiting for the day to come when everything would be - okay for good-. I chased that dream for a long time. Everyday is an opportunity now , not a day full of fear, and what if... Just when I'm sure things couldn't get any more painful, they start to get better. Thanks for being here. I new at this I-net thing so I had some trouble finding you.


Member: Raymond
Location: Texas
Date: 1/18/98
Time: 10:14:07 AM

Comments

Hi, I'm Raymond and I'm an alcoholic. I believe there is a higher power in all of our lives but we have to look for him and ask him to show us what his will is. I'm grateful for A.A. and by the grace of God I haven't had a drink since April, 1989. It works and keep coming back........ Love, Raymond


Member: Liz B.
Location: Lawton, OK
Date: 1/18/98
Time: 10:34:58 AM

Comments

Hi, I'm Liz and I'm an alcoholic. This is my first meeting. I've learned that I have to communicate daily with my higher power, because there are some challenges that come into my everyday life that I have no control over. But I do realize it is my choice how I handle the situation. I've grown closer to this power in the past year. Because I grow stronger as a person. Take care.....


Member: naomi z.
Location: Sullivan Cty, N>Y>
Date: 1/18/98
Time: 1:56:46 PM

Comments

Hello everyoneMy name 8is Naomi and I am an alcoholic. My spirituality waxws and wanes like the moon. Most often when I forget how ikt was when I was out there. It is so important for my continued growth to "keep it green". That builtt in forgetter, wworking hand in hand with this incurable bdisease often get the best of me. Those are the timesss when I'm not making enough meetings, andd I forget thaat I'm not in charge.I must practice the 11th Step on aaa daqily basis, remaain Honest Opeen and Willing, and just BELIEVE> I haaaveee had times off perfect baalaance in my life, knowwwing every moment that my Higher Power, The God of my understaaanding was with me eevery moment.And aat times like that I'veee feeelt a perfect connection to my God. But as a still sick alcoholic, I go back and retreive a character defect or two 9or tthree,and those defects block my connection to my higher power' and my spirituatity is goneunttil I start to beecomee unhaappy or my life staaartss to beecome unmanageable. I'm sso very grateful that I know how tto aaaaask ffor help to get baack on track andd for me it usually means taaking Steps One, Two andThree again. Wheen I truly aam aable to Let Go aaand Let God, I feeel the mosst connected to God, To the Program, to my inner self. It is aat times like that wheeeeen I feel thee greatest sense of spiritual well being. I,m feeling spiritual at this moment. I'm a crumby typist, new at this online stuff, aaandd yet have no fear off riddicule or reejection . Happy to have found this meeeeting. Thanks for letting me Share aand heelping me staay sober aanother day.


Member: Don W
Location: Savannah
Date: 1/18/98
Time: 4:36:59 PM

Comments

Hi everyone. My name is Don and I am an acholic. I am just getting into the program. I have struggled with this disease for just too long. I can't handle it any more. I am going to my first meeting and am a little nervous. I know about AA and the twelve steps. I look forward to the journey and I know that my HP is guiding me as I go.


Member: Marcia M.
Location: Wisconsin
Date: 1/18/98
Time: 5:07:55 PM

Comments

Hello to all, Marcia, recovering alcoholic. My journey began a bit over three weeks ago. I am just becoming clear headed enough to be open to spiritual connections. I do believe most alcoholics crave their spiritual natures, seeking connection. Even drunk, I would take walks in the woods, trying to 'feel' any sign of a higher power. Long way to go, yet am so grateful I have the 12 steps to guide me along the spiritual pathway. As anger and resentment begin to subside, there is room for connection. Thanks for listening, have a good week.


Member: marcia b.
Location: st. pete, florida
Date: 1/18/98
Time: 8:00:33 PM

Comments

Hi! I'm marcia B. I'm a grateful recovering alcoholic. Ifeel without my higher power, I wouldn't be here today. through him, I have been able to stay clean and sober for over five years, and have achieved things I never dreamed possible for me. This is my first time at this, and have only have been doing computer for a week. This in itself is a miracle. Because of my faith in this program and in my higher power, I'm able to overcome fears that used to grip me, and have me not do what I need to do for myself on a daily basis. this is one day at a time for me. thankyou for letting me share.


Member: Catherine C.
Location: NY
Date: 1/18/98
Time: 8:07:45 PM

Comments

Hi, my name is Catherine and I am a recovering alcoholic. I feel the word recovering is very important because each day of my program, I am being repaired. Wether it be physically or spiritually, this is a growing process-one that teaches me something new each day. The day that I know everything will not come-I repeat this often so I am open to what suggestions come along and so I can remain humble. Spirituality I feel is a private growth-there are no thunderbolts, no parting of red seas...mistakes are made and smart decisions may fall out of the bag, so to speak, but that doesn't mean my program has failed. I have to learn as I go and keep in touch with who is running the show...I hope that makes sense in the mish mosh of things...stay sober all. Thanks.


Member: Dave B.
Location: Arizona
Date: 1/18/98
Time: 11:50:17 PM

Comments

Hi my name is Dave and I am an alcoholic. I attended my first meeting 11 years ago, stayed sober for 3 years and eventually returned to drinking. While drinking I tried not to think about the program as it inevitably messed up my drunk. However, upon returning to the program I became baffled as to how I could have returned to the life that had caused me so many problems. Upon closer scrutiny (that means I read the big book for the first time) I read that this is a spiritual program, one in which we must learn to trust in a higher program. "Oh I thought, you mean I have to believe in higher power." That would mean that the term "higher power" in the steps is more than just a token! Throughout my first sober stay I had no problem with step one. "Hell yeh Im an alchy" I thought, and sure there's a higher power now lets get to the real stuff, when do I apologize to people etc." Guess I missed the big picture. Today I have to fake it often (I typically forget the role my higher power plays in my program and the one I don't) and just pray but it is amazing to me how often I am heard.

Thanks to all that maintain this meeting.


Member: Adam B.
Location: Mississippi
Date: 1/19/98
Time: 12:13:54 AM

Comments

Hello, my name is Adam and I too am an alcoholic. I am very glad that sobriety has entered into my life today and each day that I do the next right thing. I have been sober for almost 3 years and I have had a history of falling off the wagon. Anyway, I do not at all work a great program like I should but I do keep in mind that I am not important. My higher power loves me today and I do believe that as well. I have a wonderful sponsor who loves me and tells me what I do not want to hear, but it is for my own good. I did it my way for many years and through humility and real pain from alcoholism, I realize the only fight I had left was within my soul. AA has saved me from a terrible death and has casted me into a life of true responsibility and love for my fellow man. I am looking forward to more of these online meetings.


Member: Hannah
Location: New Zealand
Date: 1/19/98
Time: 5:19:24 AM

Comments

Hi there, my name is Hannah & I'm an alcoholic. Sprituality (after nearly two years sober) at this point is a feeling of belonging to the world, of having a part to play and a right to be here. Of course that means everyone else has a right to be here. (I did have a wee bit of trouble sometimes with that concept - there are some people I thought we'd be better off without !)

I don't belong to a major religion and had trouble differentiating between spirituality and religion. Also my higher power is easiest for me to visualise as female. I had trouble listening to the steps and the Big Book when it was always He and Him. But now I listen to the message and the not the messenger.

I practise spirituality by saying 'please' in the morning and 'thank you' at night, praying for other people and trying to treat others the way I would like to be treated.

One thing I've recently picked up again is the third step prayer from the Big Book. I say this in the morning, my sponsor suggested it when I said I didn't know how to pray, so in closing I'd like to leave you with these words, they're beautiful, no matter who they are addressed to...

God, I offer myself to Thee - to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy power, Thy love and Thy way of life. May I do Thy will always. (P63 Alcoholics Anonymous - The Big Book)

Thanks - Blessed be.


Member: David C.
Location: Asheville, NC
Date: 1/19/98
Time: 9:51:21 AM

Comments

David a drunk here. One of the things I can always count on in the program is a contact with the GOD of my understanding. That GOD is GROUP OF DRUNKS. This is the only place in my spiritual search that I have been able to find a God "with skin on it" an the story goes. I really look forward to looking you up on a daily basis.

Thanks for keeping me sober .


Member: LOUIS
Location: GATINEAU,QUEBEC,CANADA
Date: 1/19/98
Time: 12:11:49 PM

Comments

LOUIS, ALCOHOLIC,I HAD PROBLEMS BELEIVING IN A H.P.IKNOW THERE IS ONE BECAUSE I COUL'D DO IT BY MYSELF.TODAY I'D RATHER BELEIVE IN A H.P. AND BE WHERE I AM THEN TO NOT BELEIVE AND BE IN THE S... THAT I WAS IN THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.


Member: LOUIS
Location: GATINEAU,QUEBEC,CANADA
Date: 1/19/98
Time: 12:12:06 PM

Comments

LOUIS, ALCOHOLIC,I HAD PROBLEMS BELEIVING IN A H.P.IKNOW THERE IS ONE BECAUSE I COUL'D DO IT BY MYSELF.TODAY I'D RATHER BELEIVE IN A H.P. AND BE WHERE I AM THEN TO NOT BELEIVE AND BE IN THE S... THAT I WAS IN THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.


Member: Marilyn
Location: Bristol, CT
Date: 1/19/98
Time: 12:38:38 PM

Comments

Hi! My name is Marilyn and I am an alchoholic. This is the first time that I have done a computer meeting. It is really cool. I am grateful for the program of a.a. and that through a.a. I have found my higher power. I used to think that God did not care about me or want to have anything to do with me, but through getting sober and working the twelve steps of alcholics anonymous, I have come to realize that God has done for me what I could not do for myself. For that I am grateful. I have been sober for 5 years and my journey has been a wonderful one. The only thing that I can suggest to the newcomer is to stay close to the rooms and keep coming. Today I have wonderful friends and tools that I can use to help me stay sober and live a life of sobriety. This is all thanks to my higher power whom I call God. I now realize that God is there for me every minute of my life and wants me to live a sober, purposeful life. With his help I can do that one day at a time. A sober and grateful recovering alcholic. Marilyn


Member: frank b.
Location: portland oregon
Date: 1/19/98
Time: 2:35:51 PM

Comments

Hi, I'm an alcoholic named frank..by the Grace of God first and formost, the fellowship and 12 steps of this program and the kindness and guideance of my sponsor.. i have some quality time and enjoy soberity..but it didn't happen for me overnite (i also suffer from the i want it right now) my experience took me through 4 and 1/2 years before i started the (p.25 deep and effective spiritual experiences) the reason for me was me...my third step was never complete..whe i supposedly turned my will and my life over to the care of God i never really did (saying it doesn't make it so)and i was so self-centered i wouldn't humble myself to do that..i would ask God to help me (by doing that i was implying that i could do something on my own)..the brutal fact of the situation is i could drink alot and raise a lot of hell but i really couldn't do anything on my own...before i got sober...at that 4 and 1/2 year mark the miracle started happening for me...throught the help of a man named Carl H. i learned how to completely turn my will and my life over to the care of God..it happened by learning to improve my conscience contact with God..i would list everything i loved then list what i was willing to give up in order to improve that conscience contact..(not that i actually had to give it up but was willing to give up)the list at first was sad...then when i got to the point where i could give everything up (back to p.25 God commenced to do for me what i could not do for myself)everything in my life changed for the better, everything..that was some time ago and i'll never forget it..i welcome any newcomers or anyone recently new to soberity and the fellowship of a.a. i hope you read (or hear) something that keeps you comming back cuz "It Works" thank you for letting me share


Member: Cindy M
Location: Oregon
Date: 1/19/98
Time: 2:43:36 PM

Comments

CindyV Oregon I noticed there are a lot of new timers to the on-line meeting, so I was encouraged to throw my hat in the ring and say me, too! I am Cindy and an alcoholic. I have 2 and 1/2 years in. I made a conscious chose to slip at that 2 1/2 years ago and I have been making it okay since. Previous to that I had 5 1/2 years in. I was searching for you on line for my foster son, because our meetings are on Saturday night and at this point that doesn't work well for a seventeen year old. I haven't been a good meeting attender and this new meeting is good for me, but my motivation for going was for my foster son not me. I am now going for me to find that spiritual connection. When I first went I didn't really find the spiritual piece, it was more of a survivial piece to figure out my sanity. Now I sense the spirituality in a way I didn't before. Someone told me recently who is the patient and who is the Doctor. My foster son has been a doctor for me. So now I have my local Saturday meetings and this one. Thanks for letting me share. Glad you are here. Cindy


Member: DENISE
Location:
Date: 1/19/98
Time: 4:20:29 PM

Comments

MY NAME IS DENISE AND I AM AN ALCHOLIC.SPIRITUALLY IS LACKING IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW BECAUSE I PICKED UP A YEAR AGO AFTER BEING SOBER FOR 6 YEARS.MY LIFE HAS BECOME UNMANAGABLE AGAIN AND I AM TRYING TO GET BACK INTO THE PROGRAM. I GUESS I JUST NEED TO ASK GOD FOR HELP, BECAUSE I AM TRAVELING DOWN A DEAD END ROAD. THANKS FOR LETTING ME SHARE AND THANKS FOR SHARING


Member: Eric J.
Location: Atlantic City, NJ
Date: 1/19/98
Time: 9:00:17 PM

Comments

Well, I guess I might as well join in too! My name is Eric, and I'm an addict and an alcoholic. As I read over the previous comments, I noticed alot of new-comers. Relax, easy does it! Time takes time, and all those other slogans that if you haven't heard yet - you soon will. I've heard a good deal of talk about spirituality, and "Higher Power." It's been my experience (I'm no profound expert, or anything) that this will come to each individual when each is ready. Some get the "Big Bang," others, like myself, a more slower "awakening." The thing to remember is that the only way to reach the point of having this spiritual awakening, or a sense of "Higher Power, " is to stick with your program. Don't put all your expectations, or hope of continued sobriety on an emotional "feeling" of some kind of mystic, or supernatural-type experience, or "revelation." Remember, for alot of us, it was those very same emotions, and the search for some kind of "special feeling," which got us into trouble in the first place! Sobriety, for me, is about facing life on life's terms. It's not always fun! Sometimes it can actually get downright painfull. But that's O.K. It's through these very experiences that we come to grow. It's been those times, when I was totally left with no other option but to trust and rely on a Higher Power, that He, She, or It (if you will) was revealed to me!

I've managed to put together a few 24's, and one thing I know for certain is this... If I can do it, so can you! Also, try to keep in mind a couple of things I've heard along the way. 1) If you put only half as much time and effort into your recovery, as you did into your disease; you will be a success! 2) I forget (like I said, I'm no expert)!

Anyway, I'll leave you with this: Psalms 46:10 ...be still, and know that I am God.


Member: Elaine B
Location: Plainville, CT
Date: 1/19/98
Time: 9:13:32 PM

Comments

Hi, my name is Elaine and I am a cross-addicted alcoholic. I liked the phrase Thomas used at the beginning of the meeting about "falling back into the default self-centered mode". When in this mode too long, I only feel sorry for myself. When I feel sorry for myself, I have no motivation. My higher power is definitely where I get the strength to change that mode of thinking. The serenity prayer, the third step prayer Hanah wrote of, any prayer, was a great tool in motivating me, #1 to stop drinking and to stop thinking I was the center of the universe. It took away fears and gave me some self-confidence to do things I never imagined. Bringing me to places in life I never would be if I didn't get sober. I happen to be struggling with "self-pity" and "self-centeredness" often lately. I haven't really prayed whole heartedly lately either. "Dah" I think I need to. Coming to this on-line meeting is my higher power working in my life. I needed to be here. I know from past experience how prayer and belief in a higher power does motivate. I wouldn't be sober today without my higher power. Thanks for the topic and thanks for letting me share.


Member: Jeannette Z.
Location: LI, NY
Date: 1/19/98
Time: 10:22:11 PM

Comments

My name is Jeannette and I am an alcoholic. Like many others that have shared, I too am new to this internet meeting and it is truly a wonderful thing to have a meeting at our fingertips. I am sober a little of 3 1/2 yrs. and it is only because I have TOTALLY surrendered to my Higher Power. I had tried AA back in 1992 for about 6 months only to go back out and try the waters again. You see, I told myself 'I wasn't THAT bad', but God was telling me different, though I just didn't hear Him (I know now I didn't WANT to). I stayed out for over a year, but finally came crawling back to the rooms, and by His grace have stayed ever since. Today I am truly grateful to be an alcoholic because it has shown me WHO I am. I heard it said at a meeting once, "I am finally becoming the person I have always wanted to be but I just NEVER KNEW how to be it". I truly believe my Higher Power has given me this gift of sobriety simply because He loves me that much!


Member: BOBBY W.
Location: ST. PETERSBURG, FL
Date: 1/19/98
Time: 11:22:14 PM

Comments

Hi, I'm Bobby and I'm an alcoholic. This is my first time on and I think this is a pretty neat way of sharing our recovery. I also had problems with the spirituality and God belief and I drove myself to insanity because I felt my God had let me down and I totally lost all belief in such a thing. I actually believed I was already condemned to hell if there was ever such aplace and that nothing could save me. Now I know that religion is for those who want to be saved from hell and SPIRITUALITY IS FOR PEOPLE WHO HAVE ALREADY BEEN THERE. For me I had to take GOD and make it GOOD. I couldn't really work the steps in my life and every time I tried I failed. What I eventually found out after 10 years of trying and failing was that I had to work my life into the steps by looking up the SPIRITUAL PRINCIPLES behind each step in the dictionary so that I really understood what each one ment and then practice that step for a whole week one day at a time. What I gradually learn as I do this is HOW IT WORKS. For me spirituality is reaching out to those who ask for help and telling them there is a solution for this disease and sharing my experience, strength, and hope. For me that was my first ''SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCE''was finding out I wasn't UNIQUE and that I wasn't alone. THANKS FOR LETTING ME SHARE. A GRATEFUL RECOVERING ALCOHOLIC WHO'S NOT AS HOPELESS AS HE ONCE WAS.


Member: gary k.
Location: Canada
Date: 1/20/98
Time: 12:05:11 AM

Comments

Hi! I'm Gary and I am an aloholic. It is helpful for me to remember that all I have is a daily reprieve that is dependent upon my spiritual condition. And, as someone earlier said, that means getting out of self and into better contact with my HP. My bad days always seem attributable to losing contact with my HP and deciding that, now that I am feeling "better", I can say "Thanks, God, but I can take it from here". Given the result of my attempts to run my life previously, it is amazing that I can delude myself into this kind of thinking. Oh well, we seek progress, not perfection.

Thanks to everyone for sharing.


Member: gary k.
Location: Canada
Date: 1/20/98
Time: 12:05:17 AM

Comments

Hi! I'm Gary and I am an alcoholic. It is helpful for me to remember that all I have is a daily reprieve that is dependent upon my spiritual condition. And, as someone earlier said, that means getting out of self and into better contact with my HP. My bad days always seem attributable to losing contact with my HP and deciding that, now that I am feeling "better", I can say "Thanks, God, but I can take it from here". Given the result of my attempts to run my life previously, it is amazing that I can delude myself into this kind of thinking. Oh well, we seek progress, not perfection.

Thanks to everyone for sharing.


Member: Jeff S.
Location: Washington
Date: 1/20/98
Time: 1:11:39 AM

Comments

Hi all, my name is Jeff and I am an alcoholic. Thanks to all for sharing strength, experience and hope, and esp. to those who maintain this great site. I find that my Higher Power gives me strength to triumph over my anger, frustration and loneliness and keep me sober. One day at at a time.


Member: Marc D.
Location: Indiana
Date: 1/20/98
Time: 5:33:13 AM

Comments

Hi, my name is Marc and this is my first time at this meeting. When I first came to AA I had a great deal of trouble with Higher Power or God mostly from my religious upbringing as a child. I didnt believe that I deserved to be loved by God much less another person. I thought I was to baaad to be loved. After being around for a little while i realized(had it pointed out to me) that although I was pretty sick, I wasnt as bad as I thought or wanted to be. Fortunately for me I was introduced to a group of people who helped me underestand this, (mostly by not letting me get away with my usual games) It took a long time in sobriety for me to grasp the idea that I wasnt a bad person trying to get good, just a sick person trying to get well. When I began to believe that it was ok for me to be ok (like myself) I began to believe that A higher power loved me. My first spiritual awakening came when I realized that their were other people who felt the same way i did. I thought, as all drunks sem to, that I was alone in the world. I found out through AA that I wasnt and I havent been since. If nobody told you they loved you today, I do. Marc


Member: Eric
Location: L.A.
Date: 1/20/98
Time: 8:26:50 AM

Comments

Hi.. this is my first time back to any sort of sober event in months.. Ive been back out and using since the end of October. I was in treatment for two and a half months and then went to a half-way and lost it. People will probably say I'm not ready .. but its not true, if I don't stop drinking and using I'm going to die. I'm 23 and very scared and just can't stop. I love God and have always excepted him. God bless you all and stay sober.


Member: Eric
Location: L.A.
Date: 1/20/98
Time: 8:27:06 AM

Comments

Hi.. this is my first time back to any sort of sober event in months.. Ive been back out and using since the end of October. I was in treatment for two and a half months and then went to a half-way and lost it. People will probably say I'm not ready .. but its not true, if I don't stop drinking and using I'm going to die. I'm 23 and very scared and just can't stop. I love God and have always excepted him. God bless you all and stay sober.


Member: Eric J.
Location: Atlantic City, NJ
Date: 1/20/98
Time: 10:30:40 AM

Comments

hey Eric from L.A. this is Eric from A.C. DO YOU HAVE A SPONSOR? If not, GET ONE! NOW!!!


Member: David C.
Location: Asheville, NC
Date: 1/20/98
Time: 10:48:08 AM

Comments

David a drunk here.

One of the nice things about the program is it's constancy. I can always count on it to be here.

I am telling my story tomorrow night for the first time in a couple of years. Eric has reminded me of exactly how hopeless I felt before I finally surrendered and threw in the towel. Today, no matter what happens (including the letter from the IRS this morning wanting another $20,000), I know that things will work out better than I can imagine as long as I don't drink One Day At A Time.

Namaste


Member: b.p.
Location: usa
Date: 1/20/98
Time: 12:11:52 PM

Comments

USE a sponsor!!


Member: Bruce M
Location: Ontario
Date: 1/20/98
Time: 1:18:42 PM

Comments

Hi, I'm an alcoholic and my name is Bruce. Before I embraced the program, I had no God. I had turned my back on Him and things had gone to shit for me. At one of my first meetings, a man had said, "If you don't have a God, please, borrow mine". I made it through my first few weeks, still resisting what I felt was the pushing of religion down my throat until one day I decided I wanted what these people had. To get it I had to find my own God. I finally realized that there is a HUGE difference between being religious and being SPIRITUAL. May you all find the God of your understanding, and if you need to, you can borrow mine until you find yours. May you all be blessed with another 24 hours of sober spirituality...


Member: Bruce M
Location: Ontario
Date: 1/20/98
Time: 1:18:55 PM

Comments

Hi, I'm an alcoholic and my name is Bruce. Before I embraced the program, I had no God. I had turned my back on Him and things had gone to shit for me. At one of my first meetings, a man had said, "If you don't have a God, please, borrow mine". I made it through my first few weeks, still resisting what I felt was the pushing of religion down my throat until one day I decided I wanted what these people had. To get it I had to find my own God. I finally realized that there is a HUGE difference between being religious and being SPIRITUAL. May you all find the God of your understanding, and if you need to, you can borrow mine until you find yours. May you all be blessed with another 24 hours of sober spirituality...


Member: gails
Location: phila
Date: 1/20/98
Time: 3:35:17 PM

Comments

Hi I'm Gail and I'm an alcoholic. Glad to be back and welcome to all of you new to this site. I'm still trying on a daily basis to rember to pray. Some days it is easier than others and some days I just forget. I do know that life is a whole lot easier when I allow myself to be led by my HP instead of trying to do things my way. I have a long way to go but I'm still on the path...one day at a time. Thanks for being there, everyone. <<<<<<<< group hug >>>>>>>>


Member: Jen M.
Location: Austin
Date: 1/20/98
Time: 5:11:59 PM

Comments

Hi I'm Jen and I'm an Alcoholic and Addict. I was in the program in 87 but as somone earlier said, once things got better I told God I could take it from there. I have since then married a bartender who beat me, lost a job that I loved, gotton two DWI's, not to mention all the small tradgedies. Sure, Ive had alot of fun too or i wouldnt have stayed out this long. I have felt spiritually bankrupt and totally out of controll every time I drink (which leads to using other crap)- and I finally think I've had enough. At least I'm not going to use today. I coulnt find a meeting because I moved here recently so was thrilled to find this site. A dew of you have made me cry, and thank you so much for who ever said spirituality was for the people who have already been to hell. I think I might have a nervous breakdown and can only PRAY AND PRAY AND PRAY that God is really going to hold my hand untillI can breath with out crying- and that when that happens I dont let go. Thanks for being here.


Member: Marc D.
Location: Indiana
Date: 1/20/98
Time: 6:47:53 PM

Comments

Hi, I'm an alcoholic and my name is Marc. I didnt like my sponser much when I met him, but I learned that he beleived what he was saying and he was WALKING liked he talked. He changed a lot (HA HA) over the years and He helped me see what i was & wasnt. He also helped me see what sobriety & AA could do for me if I was willing to go to any length. I beleieve a sponser is the most important tool a drunk can have in getting and staying sober. GET A SPONSER TODAY.


Member: Marilyn E.
Location: Omaha
Date: 1/20/98
Time: 6:56:57 PM

Comments

Hi eveyone, my name is Marilyn and I'm an alcoholic. Am currently going through a very difficult time and found my sprituality lacking. So easy to forget God when things go right and then when there is that bump in the road, (I think they call it "life") it is hard for me to get back on track. Found that I have no faith and trust in my higher power right now. Have finally been able to share at meetings and am getting the help I need. I also am on my knees at least twice a day. My priest said I only have to say, "I believe you are there and as long as you are there, I'll be okay." So easy, yet so hard right now. Even after a few 24 hours I find out how very little I know. I am new to this format and hit a wrong key and I think I sent the message away. Hope I don't take up two spaces. This is a wonderful way to get to a meeting when the snow is flying and the roads are icy like it is right now. I used to go to the bars in this weather. Today I know I don't have to risk my life like that. Will call my sponsor and others and this helps too. Thanks. everyone!


Member: Susan B.
Location: Chicago, IL
Date: 1/20/98
Time: 8:10:08 PM

Comments

Hi, everyone. I'm Susan, and I'm an alcoholic and addict. Sure am glad to have found this meeting. I'd like to thank everyone for their comments so far. God speaks to me through the people in these rooms, through you, and I'm most fortunate to be able to listen.

A thread in the comments I keep seeing is "I stopped going to meetings, and I drank". I'm very grateful to hear that. I go to meetings to hear about what happens to people who don't go to meetings. I first came to Alcoholics Anonymous in 1975, went to a meeting a week until 1979, then no meetings for a year. Guess what, folks? I drank again. Drank for 2 years. You know it was awful. God gave me another chance for sobriety, and I was finally willing to do whatever it takes. I went to 900 meetings in 900 days, and then I gotta admit, I slacked off a little bit. But not much.

I'm grateful to everyone here for carrying the message to me today. I'm grateful to my Higher Power for His grace, which fills the life of this full-o-defects alcoholic.

Love and blessings, Susan


Member: Del F.
Location: Midwest
Date: 1/20/98
Time: 8:34:08 PM

Comments

Hi--I'm Del. And I am a truly greatful recovering alcoholic. I suppose I had a spiritual awakening before I came into the program. I was fortunate to be surrounded by many recovering individuals who belonged to the same Church I did. They took me under their wings and it was then that I felt I had the courage to admit I had a problem. With the onset of sobriety and spirituality, I discovered that I could accept resposibility for myself in the world. When the world gets too much for me, I just give the excess to God, as I understand him/her and do the best I can. We have a bank here that has the initials NBD (National Bank of Detroit) and every time I pass a brach and see the big NBD, I remind myself that no matter what is going on in my life, it's "No Big Deal". God does handle the rough stuff in my life and with my awareness of his presence in my life I am able to view most of what happens as no big deal. I do enjoy my life so much more due to my relationship with my higher power. I don't feel so lonely and I know that he will never leave me to struggle alone. I just have to ask...just like in the program, and I will receive the help that I need. The trick is to remember that help is always there. After 15 years in the program you would think I'd have mastered something...but the truth be known...we never really do. We just get a lower tolerence for pain and turn things over quicker. Today is a gift from God and I can do with it as I like...but I must do something. If it becomes too difficult to deal with, I just stop, take a breath, ask for God's help and listen. Hasn't led me astray yet. Thanks for listening...I love this site....


Member: Sandy B.
Location: Georgetown, Ontario, Canada
Date: 1/20/98
Time: 8:53:43 PM

Comments

Hi my name is Sandy and I am an alcoholic. It was Gods Grace that led me to AA and I pray that his Grace will be with me for all times. Finding a HP took awhile but someone said to me that God is not lost, so stop looking and be willing to belive that he is there for you. I had felt for a long time that he had abandond me. I now know that is not the case, he lead me to this wonderful program of revovery. I feel that he has directed me to find this wonderful way of sharing.

I would like to thank everyone for sharing.

A P.S. for Denise: Just keep it simple, don't drink and go to meetings, it will work again for you!!! You will be in my Prayers.

Good bye for now,

Sandy


Member: Karin W.
Location: New Jersey
Date: 1/20/98
Time: 8:54:52 PM

Comments

Hello everyone, my name is Karin and I'm an alcoholic. Haven't been to a meeting in about 1 1/2 weeks and it's wonderful to have this one-line meeting. Spirituality is one of my favorite topics in the wonderful program of Alcoholics Anonymous. I find it one of the main roots for my program and when I am spiritualy fit my day is peaceful. In order for me to be spiritual I do a number of things. I let go and let God, I remove my control from my "control panel" (so to speak), I say the serenity prayer and I believe in my life and my higher power. I celebrated 5 years January 1, 98 and in those finve years I've experienced pain, an enormous amount of change and a woman who is proud to be who she is. What a difference from the drinking days. Stay well everyone and please continue to comment. You help me.


Member: Paul M.
Location: Seattle, WA
Date: 1/20/98
Time: 9:03:07 PM

Comments

My name is Paul, I'm an alcoholic. Thanks for your share, Thomas, and for your topic of spirituality.

I heard in a meeting once, "we're all in this together not 'cause we have the same disease, but becuase we share the same sulution..." The idea and the reality that I don't have to do this alone saves my ass all the time.

When I get up, I pray for the willingness to accept His grace, and throughout the day, I try to search for the gifts that make my sober day a little more meaningful and purposeful for me and my fellows.

On some days I feel I get it right, on other days I'm stuck in the center of my universe. Thankfully, it's progress, not perfection, one humble day at a time. Peace.


Member: Marne L.
Location: Sacramento, CA
Date: 1/20/98
Time: 11:15:26 PM

Comments

Hi, I'm Marne and I'm an alcoholic. One of the ways in which I stay sober is to attend regular (like 3 or 4 times a year) spiritual retreats which are 12-step based. This is a very important part of my recovery program. Somehow its easier for me to get in touch with my higher power (whom I chose NOT to call GOD) when I'm away from the distractions of TV, phones, work, etc. Most of the retreat centers I attend have great "get in touch with nature" grounds, so I can spend a lot of time walking and getting in tune with nature. Sort of like what we used to call "hugging a tree" back in the sixties and seventies. Anyway, I know that spirituality is at the core of my recovery, so we all need to discover what that means to us. Don't let anyone - in the program or out - dictate who your higher power is or should be. This is truly a "God as we understand him". AA has saved my life; I'm a convert and hope to stay in this program as long as I live. My one real wish to to die clean and sober. Love to all.


Member: Barbara S.
Location: NJ
Date: 1/21/98
Time: 10:08:02 AM

Comments

My name is Barbara, and I'm an alcoholic.

Thanks, Thomas, for this topic. I am always amazed at the kind of transformation that I see every day in the rooms of A.A. Seeing people come back to life and happiness who were once on the spiral path downward to death or insanity is, for me, the simplest proof of the goodness of this Higher Power that we talk about. Now, I only want to be able to put as much as I can that's positive into the "stream of life," and to remain always grateful for the simple gift of my life and sobriety.

(I certainly didn't always feel this way. For me, it was a matter of hope and time and prayer and learning, a day at a time and through the Twelve Steps, how to live. We are so lucky to have found the path that we did....)

Peace to all -


Member: Jim M.
Location: Lima, Ohio
Date: 1/21/98
Time: 11:55:10 AM

Comments

Hi everyone, my name is Jim and I am a grateful recovering alcoholic of nine plus years. Just as real is the fact that I have only been sober since I got up this morning and I believe that it is only through the help of my higher power that I will experience this amazing gift of ongoing recovery for this 24 hours. First time here/ new to the internet/ life CAN be wonderful for alcoholics! On day at a time....


Member: Swede S
Location: New Jersey
Date: 1/21/98
Time: 12:15:12 PM

Comments

My name is Swede and I'm an alcoholic.

This is a great topic for me. I'm a newcomer in the program, with just about two months sobriety. I started drinking around 37 years ago and at about the same time lost contact with God. I thought that God and I had gone our separate ways and that my way was the right way. Despite all the troubles that alcohol presented in my life I never attempted to re-establish a relationship with God. Yes there were a few fox-hole prayers thrown in once and awhile but no real relationship.

After getting into the program, someone told me that I had to pray every day - once in the morning for help - once in the evening for thanks - and as many times during the day as I needed it to get through the day. I was also told that the only way to pray was on my knees. It would allow me to focus on the prayer and not let my mind wander as "pillow-talk" with God might do.

I listened, followed instructions, and prayed. And guess what - every day God reveals himself to me in some way. He didn't abandon me. He was there all the time just waiting for me to finally reach out and ask for help and guidance.

I conviced that if I follow a good program and ask God to guide me along I will live a better and more fulfilling life than I have for the past 37 years.

Thanks for letting me share.


Member: Karen R
Location: Riverton, Wyoming
Date: 1/21/98
Time: 1:55:48 PM

Comments

Hi everyone! My name is Karen and I am an Alcoholic. It is truely a blessing to be able to have the opportunity to share with others in the program.

My spiritural journey this last 3 years has been one of totally having to rely on my hp. I have been sober for over 11 years now and I am so grateful. Remembering that not all people have the opportunity to be chosen to have this life, has given me much strength to make it through life.

I chose to give up my safety zone of my sponcer, sponcees and many wonderful friends in Ft. Collins, CO to move back to my old drinking town. I needed to face the ghost that were haunting me and give forgiveness. I had no idea that this would be the most difficult time in recovery. I haven't had such a hard time with the ghost, but with the fellowship in this small town. In recovery, I learned to let go of shaming, guilting and hurting others so that I could be okay with me. I believe we all belong here no matter what anyone else thinks and if someone else has learned something different than I have, then I am so much more blessed at the opportunity to get to reach out of myself and learn who they are. It is not that way here and after 2 years of trying to fit in or belong in our group, I finally came to a point in my life where I had to find other ways of having this program come into my life. I have been blessed with the chance to furture my education and with that came the internet and e-mail. I e-mail almost on a continueous basis to those in Collins and am able to continue working this program on a much healthier basis. I have learned that working with others is not only in the rooms, but also outside of the rooms. Relying on my higher power is a must for me and taking him for granite is not a option anymore if I want to continue to grow and stay sober.

I am again so truely grateful to have a variey of members to read about and share with, I am truely blessed.

With much love and prayers. This program does work! Karen R.


Member: Dave M.
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Date: 1/21/98
Time: 4:08:40 PM

Comments

Hello everyone, my name is Dave and I am an alcoholic. In my 14 years of sobriety, I continually have to remind myself and be reminded by others that there IS a Higher Power and that I should rely thereon. One of One of the ways that my Higher Power speaks to me is through others at meetings. I MUST go to meetings to hear what "he" has to say. Otherwise I lose track and get "squirrelly" all over again. In reading through the earlier comments, I note a considerable preponderance of relapses. I've always been told that a relapse is not a requirement for membership. Fortunately I have not had that experience ..............yet. I keep reminding myself that I surely could and I do NOT want to re-live those extremely difficult initial 24+ months of sobriety. It absolutely does get betters......if you let it. I am extremely glad to be sober thanks to this wonderful program.


Member: Kim. P
Location: Canada
Date: 1/21/98
Time: 5:39:31 PM

Comments

Hello everybody, my name is Kim and I am a gratefull, recovering alcoholic. This is my first visit here, this is great. For me to believe in a Higher Power I had to keep it simple. I had a terrific sponsor who, after many meetings would take me aside and simplify parts of the program for me. The hard part for me was comming to believe. I wanted to do this in an hour, and it didn't work that way. First I had to come... 90 meetings in 90 days, then I had to come to... share in the fellowship, and finally I came to believe. Once there I found the hope I needed to continue along my journey. Today, I sometimes loose that faith that I worked hard for and I must motivate in the direction of spirituality again. For me to go back for a little bit , to the times of the barrooms and the insanity will usually put me back on top. There were so many times when I should have been found in a ditch, or beaten, or frozen... It is scary to think of how many scrapes I had gotten out of, and not by my own power. I have no doubt that it was my higher power helping me along my journey. If it was left to me I would have killed myself with my own self will. This usually puts me in a more gratefull place, and helps me to remember that God is doing for me what I cannot do for myself, which is very comforting to know. It's been great sharing... and I wish you all another 24- and I'll keep one for myself. Thanks.


Member: Tammy L.
Location: Colorado
Date: 1/21/98
Time: 7:54:01 PM

Comments

Hi, my name is Tammy and I am an alcoholic. This is my first meeting online. I am really glad that it is here though. I have 8 days sobriety, although about 5 years ago I did have 6 months. Then I went back out. I never believed I was an alcoholic. I have always believed in a Higher Power, just never really knew how that was to help me with my sobriety. I got a wakeup call last week. I never saw how my drinking affected my children, I always managed to get them where they had to be, etc. My oldest daughter brought home a worksheet from school about an alcoholic mother with questions about how the kid in this story felt. One of her answers was that he was afraid his mother was gonna die. Nowhere in this story was this fear mentioned. It really scared me, so I talked to her. The boy in the story wasnt the one afraid, it was her. She said the teacher said just imagine how you would feel, and she told me she didnt have to imagine. SHE KNEW! That night while attempting to sleep, things started flashing through my mind. Things about my kids and what I was doing to myself as well as them. I still dont know for sure just how God is going to help me, but I definitely believe he was talking to me. It was like, WAKE UP! dont you see how out of control this stuff is getting? Anyway, I have started going to regular meetings again. I have always had a hard time speaking at them, so that is why I really like this. It gives me a chance to share and get my feelings out, while at the same time getting comfortable with sharing. Thanks for that chance.


Member: Sarah R
Location: Sydney Australia
Date: 1/21/98
Time: 8:12:11 PM

Comments

hi, mmy name's Sarah & I'm an alcoholic.This is my first time to this site and it was really hard, but well worth it. I live in Australia and here it is the 22nd of January which means that today I am 1 YEAR SOBER YEEEHAAA!My life has changed so much it is hard to know where to start.Thanks to my Higher Power and the support of friends and family,I have my life back. For that I will be eternally gratefull. God Bless you all


Member: Anna T.
Location: California, USA
Date: 1/21/98
Time: 10:28:49 PM

Comments

Hi everyone! My name is Anna and I am an alcoholic. I would like to welcome all the newcomers, newcomers to AA and to this meetings. I remember when I first came into the program. I believed there was a God alright, but I beleived he was a punishing God who was out to get me because I gave up on the bible and on church. for a long time I felt I was getting the short end of the stick in life. After working even up through step six, and after being in the program, I came to realize that this feeling or thought of getting the short end of the stickk was self pity. I had a great tendency to feel sorry for myself. I have times now where I fallinto that but recognize it and get out of it cuz I know it's dangerous. I used to rationalize my drinking with the thought that God doesn't want me to get sober. It was reallyh me who didn't want me to get sober. I am the one who picked ujp the drink that started each physical relapse prior to February 1990. My perception of God has changed over the years slowly. I can see where He has helped me.

I did an 8th step yesterday. I did a previous one with a different sponsor, but I have one easy amends, its simply a matter of paying a library amends, and I have a difficult ammends. I was hoping my sponsor would tell me I didn't need to make it, but ,darn it, she didn't. I need to because I think not making them stands in the way of the promises. I need to pray for the willingness. I haven't been with any one sponsor long enough to go through all 12 steps, but that's a story in itself. I can only say that it does make a diffrence to work the steps, and I know I will feel better after I get through this one with God's help. Life isn't always wonderful in sobriety, but it's a heck of a lot better to the miserable existence before I got sober. Thanks for listening. I would suggest to those who are to AA to also attend face to face meetings as well as online meetings. Talk to you soon.


Member: Carla T.
Location: Kenai, Alaska
Date: 1/22/98
Time: 2:49:59 AM

Comments

Hi! My name is Carla and I am a recovering alcoholic and addict. By the grace of God, sober & clean for 7 years, just now really growing and enjoying the sober lifestyle more than ever! Everything is REAL! Wow! Hope this finds all well and doing it one day at a time email address is ctimme@ptialaska.com, home group is 12X12 in Kenai, Alaska. Love Carla T.


Member: RICH   B.
Location: PERU, INDIANA
Date: 1/22/98
Time: 8:10:58 AM

Comments

HI! My name is Rich and i am an alcoholic. I just started over again in this 12x12 program and i have found early this time that, just saying you are an alky and beleiveing are two different things. It takes a little more time for me I guess becouse intelligence gets in my way. I keep trusting in my hp and take it one day at a time!!!


Member: tommy t
Location: Garnett,KS
Date: 1/22/98
Time: 10:17:57 AM

Comments

First of all I want to say WHAT A GREAT SITE!! This is my first time here and it sure is nice to have a way to share while house bound and going through recovery. I have been sober for a few days now but didn't fully realize the scope and magnitude of the areas of my life that would be touched by practicing "THE PROGRAM" During the first part of Dec. I was diagnosed with cancer of my mouth and jaw and started to REALLY panic, but by applying the principles that I have learned from AA and people in my home group AND MY HIGHER POWER I have managed to stay sober through surgery and partial recovery (Even did some 12 step work while in the hospital) Still have radiation to go through but the worst is behind me. I never could have done it without what I have learned around the tables of AA and Help from my HIGHER POWER "IT WORKS" BUT ONLY IF YOU WORK IT Thanks so much for letting me share !


Member: Claire L.
Location: Brewster, MA
Date: 1/22/98
Time: 1:28:27 PM

Comments

My name is Claire and I am an alcoholic. Thanks to everyone for their sharing this week; I have become a regular at this site and wouldn't miss it. I did not know that I had a higher power until I reached my moment of desperation and come to this program seeking sobriety and serenity. Now I know that, without my conscious knowledge, my Higher Power led me to AA. Since getting sober a few 24 hours ago, I have come to understand that the spiritual really is ALL there is to life, and that my Higher Power guides me in everything I do, not just staying sober. I now understand that God gave me the gift of sobriety so that I could learn to hear his voice and follow his will for me each and every day of my life. Thanks for letting me share.


Member: andrew brown
Location: portland oregon
Date: 1/22/98
Time: 6:13:52 PM

Comments

hi my name is andrew brown and i am an alcoholic i ask god to fit me to be of maximum use and service to him and my fellows outloud on my knees in the morning. this seems to make my days smoother. i become less interested in selfish things and gain interst in my fellows. it sounds so painfully clicheish but it is turned out to be one of the most useful prayers i have ever used.

andy brown brownboy48@hotmail.com


Member: mike  j.
Location: WA
Date: 1/22/98
Time: 10:53:31 PM

Comments

I'm Mike and I'm an alcoholic. I'm new to these meetings and to this format. I've read all the comments on spirituality and a higher power, and it strikes me that all of those participating in this meeting are wonderful evidence of a higher power - evidence that something stronger thanthe desire for alcohol can inhabit us. The meetings and sharing of experiences is a great reminder of the power of love - the power of people helping one another. Thanks


Member: Butch M.
Location: Mid-South
Date: 1/23/98
Time: 1:31:20 AM

Comments

First off. I am grateful to my Higher Power, That I chose to call God. After 33yrs of being an alcoholic/addict I got a new understanding and relationship with God. Thus my spirituality has grown by leaps and bounds. AA was a stepping stone to my Spirituality. For many it is a foundation. The unconditional love and acceptance shown by many in the program rubs off. I had 3yrs, relapsed, went to prison on my first Dui. Through it all I wouldn't change a thing. God wants me to grow and I am blessed for the opportunity he gave me. Spiritually many things I can say. but just one thing really sticks out in my life now. Meaning no offense to anyone (for this is me). When I was forgiven, worked my program, made my ammends I learned a new way. A GREAT and better way of life. So people please learn to forgive yourselves above all else. Then your higher power will be able to guide you. study the steps, live them. It is a great life with your higher power by your side as a true Friend, Gudeance counseler, and Father (with unending love). Share with others and be willing to help and learn from them. You won't ever regret it.

Now a story. 4 people named: Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was a job to be done and Everybody was asked to do it. Everybody thought that Somebody would do it. Anybody could of done it. But you know what? Nobody did it. Question: What was the job? Who is the boss?


Member: Jean S.
Location: Bellingham, Wa
Date: 1/23/98
Time: 2:40:51 AM

Comments

A power greater than myself got me to my first meeting nearly 9 years ago and I have been sober since. If you knew what kind of drunk woman/mother/ I was you would know I didn't do it by me own great self will. God provides me with constant reminders of what life could and would be life if I decided to exert my self will and drink again. I have been upset today because last night I ran into two people I knew from my home group. They were clearly on something if not drunk. The woman was a mirror to me of myself, what I would look like, act like, etc. if I drank again. God put these people in my space as a reminder to not get complacent. It was like when people come back to meetings after going out. No one has EVER said how great it was to get drunk again. I am grateful to each and every one of you for being here. This is a marvelous tool when one cannot get to a meeting. I love it!


Member: Jean S.
Location: Bellingham, Wa
Date: 1/23/98
Time: 2:41:26 AM

Comments

A power greater than myself got me to my first meeting nearly 9 years ago and I have been sober since. If you knew what kind of drunk woman/mother/ I was you would know I didn't do it by me own great self will. God provides me with constant reminders of what life could and would be life if I decided to exert my self will and drink again. I have been upset today because last night I ran into two people I knew from my home group. They were clearly on something if not drunk. The woman was a mirror to me of myself, what I would look like, act like, etc. if I drank again. God put these people in my space as a reminder to not get complacent. It was like when people come back to meetings after going out. No one has EVER said how great it was to get drunk again. I am grateful to each and every one of you for being here. This is a marvelous tool when one cannot get to a meeting. I love it!


Member: Debbie W.
Location: Indiana
Date: 1/23/98
Time: 9:26:01 AM

Comments

Hi! I am Debbie and I also an an alcoholic. I hasve no problems with a higher power but I can't seem to get into the swing and routine of praying on a daily basis. I have been quite sick since of middle od Dec. for I have not been attending my meetings like I am suppose to. I have only been in AA since last July and I have only had a drinking problem since l989--when I became divorced and went back out into the single party world. As a rule, I am more of a Betty Crocker/Suzie Homemaker type. I am having so many problems with relapses. It seems that when I decide to drink "hell or high water" is not going to stop me. About 90% of thetime I take antibuse to I even have to plan my drunks........This is my first on line meeting as I haveonly had my terminal a week ago yesterday. This is really a neat thing. Keep up the good work. I will definitely be back.


Member: Jim B.
Location: Chicago
Date: 1/23/98
Time: 9:58:44 AM

Comments

Hi,I'm Jim B. and I'm an alcoholic. I'm just getting off a 2 day marathon of online meetings. I've been sober for 3 days and have come to understand that I cant beat this thing alone. God knows I have tried. I contacted A.A. and will start going to meetings again. I am looking for a online sponsor to help me through the program. With Gods and your help I will make it this time. Thanks for listening. Jim B.


Member: SHERYL
Location: mass. usa
Date: 1/23/98
Time: 4:15:15 PM

Comments

Regarding the higher power, if you get desperate enough, you'll start asking for help to any thing that would all but care for you, turn your will over to the care of something greater than yourself. It works for me, after some time not knowing or believing until i saw it working for others. At first i believed it was this control issue, but now i know it's a caring soul lifting me through the times, hard times and good times, THANKS,HIGHER POWER!!!!


Member: SHERYL
Location: mass. usa
Date: 1/23/98
Time: 4:17:13 PM

Comments

Regarding the higher power, if you get desperate enough, you'll start asking for help to any thing that would all but care for you, turn your will over to the care of something greater than yourself. It works for me, after some time not knowing or believing until i saw it working for others. At first i believed it was this control issue, but now i know it's a caring soul lifting me through the times, hard times and good times, THANKS,HIGHER POWER!!!!


Member: Anna T.
Location: Southern California
Date: 1/23/98
Time: 5:19:59 PM

Comments

Hi everyone. I know we are only supposed to share once a week, but I wanted to say my name is Anna and I am an alcoholic and also, Debbie, I am a single mother as well. Jim, I suggest that you get an offline sponsor, someone you can meet with face to face to discuss the steps and whatever else. I feel that is essential for recovery. Online meetings and this site are great, but I feel they benefit as a suplement to regular meetings and step work with a sponsor and not a replacement. That's my experience. I did my difficult amends yesterday and have a simple financial one left and feel better now. Thanks for letting me share. I'll limit myself to one time next week. Have a great day.


Member: don w.
Location: akeley mn.
Date: 1/23/98
Time: 6:20:53 PM

Comments

hello i am don a grateful recovering alcoholic may daily serinity is contingent on my daily spiritual level. I start my day by giving thanks to my higher power for this day... then i get in my car and commune with my higher power as i drive to work.. this time alone in morning usually sets my day in a good pattern.. but i must do this every single day of my sober life.. God who is my higher power must be in charge or i do not think or feel good about anything.... the booze was 10 % of my problem.. living and life skills were 90% the people in my life saw the 10% not the 90% A.A. and the loving members got me straight on the 90%.. clean house, find God , attend meetings.


Member: vicki c.
Location: jacksonville beach, fl
Date: 1/23/98
Time: 9:42:14 PM

Comments

hi everyone! i'm vicki and i am an alcoholic. i also am new to on line and i've been searching for a week for a site like this one.

i've really enjoyed reading everyone's comments. what a great topic! when i first came into the program i had a hard time with the "God" thing. i now realize that He has been with me every step of the way and always was-i didn't "find" God because he was never lost!

i would like to share a couple of thoughts with the new comers. please (as some one already mentioned) do not substitute this site for a meeting. this is a wonderful addition to our recovery but i need to attend meetings so that i can share with others what was so freely given to me. the meetings also make sure i let others really know who and what i am.

one more thing.. if you're new and feeling miserable..this is the last time you ever have to feel this way again!

love to all of you..and thanks!


Member: Christina K.
Location: Chandler, AZ
Date: 1/23/98
Time: 9:48:33 PM

Comments

I'm Christina and I'm an alcoholic, a re-tread in AA these days. After some time in the program, I relapsed into a stupor that only HP could get me out of. I wear a constant reminder on my wrist that my dad gave me in treatment - a "WWJD?" bracelet (What Would Jesus Do?).

I know that when Jesus turned water in to wine, it wasn't so He could drink it all - all by himself (lol). No, He, wouldn't do that. Nor would Jesus be dishonest about His disease by trying to live without AA.

I can't do AA without HP, nor can I daily acknowledge His presence in my life without AA. Thanks for reading...


Member: Mike A.
Location: OKC
Date: 1/23/98
Time: 9:50:28 PM

Comments

Hi, my name is Mike and I'm an Alcoholic. It's my first meeting here. Was feeling like I needed a meeting. I'm glad you are here. Getting sober is something that I never thought I could do. I'll have 5 years here pretty soon. But I do this same as you do...one day at a time. I attend alot of meetings because without'em I'd do what alcoholics do...drink whiskey. I was so sick and feel so good most days. I haven't been cured, as I've already heard, it's just a daily repreive. I owe it all to my H.P. and the fellowship of AA who loved me until I could love myself. Thanks for letting me share.

Mike


Member: Bob O
Location: FL
Date: 1/24/98
Time: 12:04:20 AM

Comments

Hello everyone, I'm an alcoholic named Bob and I'm glad to find this type of thing on the internet, I just got on and find it fascinating, The first three steps...I can't , He can, I think I'll let him...Then I throw my faith and trust (trust, something I never truly had in anything or anybody before this program of recovery) into action so that I may at peace in this world with my Creator, my fellows, and myself. By the grace of God, I'm getting better a day at a time. We claim spiritual progress not perfection. I don't have to be perfect! I can let myself off the hook for being human. That's why we have the 10th thru 12th steps. Thanks for letting me share, I'll never forget when I first heard....' God could and would (help) if he were sought.......Thanks


Member: Pam T.
Location: Nebraska
Date: 1/24/98
Time: 12:59:10 AM

Comments

HI Iam Pam and Iam a alcoholic.Ive been in and out of the program for years.I just recently sobered up ,two months ago.I was never into the God thing .Ilost my sister in an alcohol related car accident.SO instead of getting angry at this desease Igot very mad at God.After two years of blaming him for everything and almost drinking myself to death,I decided to surrender, and ask God for help.Since then my life has done a complete turn around.I just want to thank god and everyone in AA.Youve gave me my life back.And for that Im grateful.GOD BLESS YOU! PAM T.


Member: Jean S.
Location: Bellingham, Wa.
Date: 1/24/98
Time: 1:45:40 AM

Comments

I just read my message from last night and realized I forgot to say, "I'm Jean. I AM AN ALCOHOLIC!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am sorry because I surely am an alcoholic.


Member: leslie
Location: ma
Date: 1/24/98
Time: 8:22:44 AM

Comments

hi, my name is leslie and i.m an alcoholic. this is my first day sober. i was in the program for 2 years then got out of it when i moved and thought the meetings here weren.t as good. please:)

i.m glad i found this site as i am somewhat housebound with kids. today i will find a meeting to go to and get a sponsor i hope. i need to be reminded about my connection with my higher power and reading all your postings has been great. i.m feeling very lonely and stupid and all the rest of it.

i.m going to pray today.

thanks.


Member: RAY w.
Location: brisbane Australia
Date: 1/24/98
Time: 9:14:34 PM

Comments

like clare l. my hp is all that is important.I am very god dependent for my days.


Member: Kenny B.
Location: Alabama
Date: 1/25/98
Time: 2:35:45 AM

Comments

Hi my name is Kenny and i'm a alcoholic!

and i know my HP has always been with me he never left me i left him. Because the places i went and people i hung out with,well lets say it wasn't a healthy place. but he kept me a live for some reason,b/c the things i did while out and about . alot of people never made it home.i have been in the program as Feb.26 it will be 1 year. and if 1 year ago someone would have ask me what do i think i'll be doing in a year it sure wouldn't have been in a AA meeting.but i own it all to the HP of my understanding that i made it here. i'm still learning how to live life on life's terms. but it sure is nice not to have to worry about driving,fighting.bills etc. but i'm not perfect and i still have those problems but today its not also alchol. because threw the steps i know today. that thier is nothing that can happen that me and my HP can handle together. and i hope i'll always be teachable. never thinking i know it all.and i'm just glad to be sober and clean another day b/c today is all that i have. but let me say this i am a alcoholic and i'll die one but it will hopefully be a "recovering" one and i hope i live a long and happy life. but we don't know what the futrue holds. just for today!!!!! Thank You, Kenny