Member: John P.
Location: Tampa Bay
Date: August 25, 2002
Time: 09:04 AM

Comments

Hi... John Here, I'm an alcoholic. This is day two, of my second attempt at sobriety. My first try was nine years ago. I knew, for All those nine years, that The only way to stop drinking, was to take step three. "Make the decision to turn my life over to the care of God". I knew my lif was spinning out of controll. But I refused to let go of the wheel. Friday night I got on my knees and asked God for help. Well I made it through Yesterday! With Gods help I can make it through Today. Thanks for listening. John


Member: Phil S
Location: USAF, Oman
Date: August 25, 2002
Time: 10:17 AM

Comments

Hi.. I'm Phil and I'm an alcoholic. One of my sponsors did what you did John, and he's been sober for many years now. I followed his method, and I too have been sober for quite a few 24 hrs now. To drink today, would be returning to the high cost of low living again. You took action by making the decision to turn your life over to the ultimate authority. Now the ball is in his court .. my bet is that he'll enable you to experience a world of new horizons and opportunities! My best wishes and prayers for you John .. the same for our other family of members in AA


Member: jesse b
Location: michigan
Date: August 25, 2002
Time: 10:30 AM

Comments

Hi my name is jesse I was leading to the points of being an alcoholic, I'm 16 I was abusing alcohol I've relized that I must put a stop to it before it gets to late.


Member: jesse b
Location: michigan
Date: August 25, 2002
Time: 10:30 AM

Comments

Hi my name is jesse I was leading to the points of being an alcoholic, I'm 16 I was abusing alcohol I've relized that I must put a stop to it before it gets to late.


Member: jesse b
Location: michigan
Date: August 25, 2002
Time: 10:30 AM

Comments

Hi my name is jesse I was leading to the points of being an alcoholic, I'm 16 I was abusing alcohol I've relized that I must put a stop to it before it gets to late.


Member: debbie
Location: SD
Date: August 25, 2002
Time: 12:08 PM

Comments

My name is Debbie, I'm an alcoholic. I like John's way of putting the decision to quit drinking on step 3 in addition to step 1. Jesse B. Please hang in there and stay sober one day at a time. I said the same thing at the age of 16, if I only I would have had the strength to stick with it, now here I am 15 years later and making my 5th attempt at sobriety. You can do it, keep coming back.


Member: Higher Power
Location: Up Above
Date: August 25, 2002
Time: 02:20 PM

Comments

Best advise possible on this topic is work step one perfect everyday and live the rest. And for God`s sake don`t take yourself so damn serious.


Member: AZbill
Location: Sierra Vista, Arizona
Date: August 25, 2002
Time: 04:03 PM

Comments

HI Bill here. Alcoholic from Arizona. In Chapter 5 "How it Works" (Read aloud at most face to face meetings), it states, "Our description of the alcoholic, the chapter to the agnostic, and our personal adventures before and after make clear three pertinent ideas: That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives. (b) That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism, and (c) God could and would if He were sought. These are the instructions for taking the first two steps. And, this is how I started. This is how millions before me started and this is how millions after me started. One cannot deny success, but it never ceases to amaze me that still people try to rewrite the program to fit individual ideas. This is not a ME program it is a We program. Step One merely defines the problem, Step Two defines the solution. In the Third Step we only make the decision to turn out life over. We actually turn it over by working steps Four through Nine. Before we are halfway through the Ninth, We will suddenly realize that God was doing for us what we could not do for ourselves. This is a promise. :) Bill az-bill@mindspring.com


Member: John P.
Location: Tampa Bay
Date: August 25, 2002
Time: 05:27 PM

Comments

Hi... John again, After 18 years of drinking, I attended my first meeting in 1990. It took many meetings, for me to admit to myself, that I was powerless over alcohol... (step 1) I Did believe in God and had no problem with step 2. I learned much from AA, in my three years of sobriety. (apparently not enough) For the last nine years of drinking, I knew I was powerless. I also knew that if I asked for help, I would get it. It took this long to want it. Coming back is much more difficult than, taking the first step, the first time around. I had to get over the shame / guilt thing. Thanks for listening... John


Member: Star One
Location: Northern Ontario
Date: August 25, 2002
Time: 05:41 PM

Comments

I am now getting through my second day without a drink. I think that one starts the 12 steps every time one quits drinking. The first step is to admit that you have a problem. Why would you quit drinking if you didn't have a problem? I know for myself that if I don't quit drinking I won't be able to watch my children grow up. My father in law died at age 65 and he wasn't a get drunk every time I drink type of alki, but he couldn't get through the evening without his shot of rye or two or three and a couple of beers. He died from accute inflamation of the pancreas and this is often brought on by over indulging for many years. I am starting the 12 steps, but I don't attend meetings. I am also putting other things in place as well. There should be a 12 step to healing your body with diet and exercise and vitamins and mineral that we deplete when we drink as well as the 12 steps to healing the soul. I hope that everyone gets another "24" under their belts today, I know I am hoping to. Have a great one


Member: AnneC
Location: Canada
Date: August 25, 2002
Time: 09:25 PM

Comments

Hi AnneC here again: I am on my 5th day and all this is very new to me. This is the first time I have decided to stop drinking and I am glad I could find some help on-line. I made comments when the topic was "HOPE" and was hoping some of the same people would be on-line. How does this work? I do not know what the twelve steps are, I am too ashamed to go to an AA mtg. Please give me some direction. I have booze in the house, should I throw it out or keep it as a reminder. I know if I want to drink again I will just go out and buy some. Your stories are very helpful and supportive and I am grateful somebody is listening out there. I pray daily that God will help me to be strong and I tkank whoever is responsible for starting this up. God Bless everyone and thanks a million for the support.


Member: Mich H.
Location: DAYTONA BCH FL
Date: August 25, 2002
Time: 10:27 PM

Comments

I know I am supposed to be tolerant, but it just pisses me off so much when someone is playing DIRECTOR, in these halls, rooms, e-freeway. I am not taking anyones inventory but will the well intentioned jerk, posting as "higher power" please find another way of amusing him or herself.


Member: sue s.
Location: so. cal
Date: August 25, 2002
Time: 11:03 PM

Comments

sue- alcoholic /addict- to ann c....i also felt the shame you feel...but my real problem was fear....as has been the problem my entire life in all aspects, until i FORCED myself to sit in the rooms of AA and allow the people before me to teach me what i need to know to live this wonderous life i have now.....this program has been a blessing and has taught me how to live a life of peace, only by the grace of god. this program takes great effort on my part, at the beginning and now going through my steps, and i wouldnt have it any other way....all seems to just fall into place. give it your best shot and watch and feel the gifts of your higher power shower you too with peace.........thank you for letting me share.


Member: AnneC
Location: Canada
Date: August 25, 2002
Time: 11:08 PM

Comments

Hi Anne C here. James D-NC, Christa W-Yuba City CA, Madelaine E-South Texas, I DID IT!! I never thought I would see the day I would have the courage to pour booze (Boy that smell!!) down the sink but thanks to your great advice I DID IT!! I looked for your comments under the HOPE topic but could not find them at first as the topic had changed so I went to the archives and found them. GOD BLESS YOU ALL and everyone who is cursed with this disease. I am on my 5th day now and since all my booze is down the sink and the stores are not open I can guarantee I will make it until to-morrow. My next step is an AA mtg. Wish me luck and thanks a million, I could not have done it without "STAYINGCYBER". THANK GOD (HE WORKS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS) that my son bought me this computer for my birthday.


Member: Jenny W
Location: Texas
Date: August 25, 2002
Time: 11:52 PM

Comments

Hi. Jenny here to Anne C. Way to go! I remember when I had to pour alcohol down the sink, I called my sponsor and she and another woman from the group came over and poured it all out for me while I sat there in a ball crying. It was humiliating and necessary for me. I had to be honest with someone...my sponsor. That experience led me to 90 meetings in 90 days; my sponsor's suggestion. I suggest you try the same. I was afraid to go to meetings at first because I was afraid someone might recognize me. One of the greatest gifts of my early sobriety was seeing someone I know from work at the meeting. Today, when I see him at work a feeling of relief comes over me....relieved to know that I am not alone and there are others who have gone before me that I can turn to. Hang in there and you do get better!


Member: Frank S.
Location: Portland, OR.
Date: August 26, 2002
Time: 12:18 AM

Comments

Came into the program veryyoung. The compulsion to drink left me. Went to meetings almost daily, worked with others, helped out at meetings, etc. At 9 years of sobriety got married. At 16 yrs., my mother and mother-in-law passed away. At 17, our new house was destroyed in afire, at 18 yrs., our youngest son wass killed in an accident. Didn't drink!! At 19 years, my wife left me for another man! At 19 11/2 years, I got drunk and it's been downhill from there. I will hopefully have my first yer next week. Being new, starting over has been extremely difficult. Unlike the first time, I honestly still think of drinking still. the compulsion has left me, the thought hasn't. I feel empty and alone again eveen though I have a wonderful higher power. I pray I will keep on keepin' on,but I don't really know at this point. Staying sober just doesn't have the same impact for me it once did. I pray, have done a 4th step, go to meetings daily, work with others and a sponsor. Hope is all htere is right now but I''m not sure it is neough. This stuff (alcohol) is mighty deciving, pwerful and intriguing to say the least.


Member: Jen C
Location: Tempe, AZ
Date: August 26, 2002
Time: 02:57 AM

Comments

Wow, I don't know where to start but I'll keep it short. Day 1 has come and gone. I am new to this AA thing. I've never been to a meeting before and I am still a little scared. I've known for quite some time that I need to stop drinking but it wasn't until yesterday that the light bulb came on in my head. I've tried by myself a few times to stop but it has never worked. So this is me with 24 hours of sobriety under my belt. I pray that my desire to stop stays with me tomorrow and everyday after. Thanks for letting me share. I really want this to work.


Member: Doug M.
Location:
Date: August 26, 2002
Time: 03:30 AM

Comments

AnnC., there are TONS of AA-related sites on the web. None of them can beat a real meeting, but they're a start. Try www.recovery.org/aa/bigbook/ww/ . There you can read the "Big Book" of AA, but PLEASE go out and get a real one! And search for a meeting close to you. Also, search around on-line for an "AA chat room". These are DEFINITELY helpful - I went into an aa chatroom my first few nights of sobriety and was helped ENORMOUSLY by the fact that I could sit in my house and at any time I had a problem, I could go online and talk to someone like me. I work with alcoholics/addicts every day in a re-entry house, and their main complaint about sobriety is that they are bored, or stir-crazy. You've got to find some ways to keep yourself busy during the times that you used to be drunk. Reading always helps me. Or cleaning (something I never DID when I was a big drunken idiot!)


Member: Michaela M
Location: Paris France
Date: August 26, 2002
Time: 03:50 AM

Comments

Michaela alcoholic and addict here. I see that the new topic is beginning on the 1 2 steps. I have been thinking a lot about the steps lately and think that I am now ready for step four when my sponsor returns. Although I will seek guidence from her on this. I am not sure if I have fully completed step three yet though. I have made a decision to turn my will over to my HP. However, I haven't openly admitted to my family that I believe in a Higher, spiritual being. In order to have fully turned my will over to my higher power to I need to openly admit this to others? It isn't that I am hiding anything just that the subject hasn't come up. Anyone got any thoughts on this. Michaela


Member: Madelaine E
Location: South Texas
Date: August 26, 2002
Time: 04:39 AM

Comments

((Anne C)), ((Everyone))! Buy a Big Book and start reading it. Review the steps. Be honest with yourself about your willingness. Go to F2F meetings as often as possible. Ask someone to sponsor you, even temporarily. Keep the booze out of the house. Get on your knees morning and night. Go to on-line meetings. Stay busy. These are just small suggestions to help newcomers. Michaela--I don't think it matters. Your relationship with your HP is between you and your HP. At some point I think you will spontaneously, openly declare it because it will become "natural" to do so. At this point you won't care what others think. Frank S--welcome back! Hang in there, work the program, and keep coming back. Blessings to all! Madelaine


Member: AnneC
Location: Canada
Date: August 26, 2002
Time: 07:08 AM

Comments

I am glad to see some familiar names, I was worried I had lost you. To Sue S-So Cal thanks for your response and I will definitely find an AA location near me. To Jenny W-Texas I can relate that it is one of my big fears - RECOGNITION. I guess I will have to get over it. I will look for the Big Book, thanks to Doug M for a place to start. To Franks S Situations like yours really scare me, things are great now and I feel strong but what if????? I admire your courage and it gives me hope that I too can be strong if I am faced with difficult situations. My prayers are with everyone who has had the fortune to have a computer and be able to reach this site and I go to my computer every day for hope and encouragement. You never let me down. Thanks a million. Madelaine E-South Texas, I was so glad to hear from you as you were the first to respond to my original cry for help, thanks a million hope you are doing well. Next step The Big Book and an AA mtg. I will keep you posted. My prayers are with you all and God willing with his help we will make it. Keep up the good work you are all counsellors in your own way and doing a great job especially for us rookies.


Member: kirsten
Location: montreal
Date: August 26, 2002
Time: 08:23 AM

Comments

kirsteb here - alcoholic. Well, I haven't been posting often, although I faithfully check you guys out several times a day. I need you and I am grateful that this site is here. I am at 29 days today. wow. Who woulda thunk it. I haven't had this long is a long long time. I have been around AA in the past and found it inspiring and powerful. I have never come across so many "healthy" people in my life. IMO - Choosing a HP and working the steps brings people in the fellowship to another level of humanity. I am personally struggling right now with the whole concept of the program. I know that it works, I have seen it work. But, as I have mentioned before, I am doubting the need to become powerless. Don't get me wrong here. I know that I cannot drink and I cannot control my consumption ( the man takes the drink - the drink takes the man), but I found myself belittled and feeling the failure and weak minded when I was not able to achieve sobriety. 'Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly folowed our path....' Which brought me down. As in, "what is wrong with me that I am not finding strength in my HP and that I continually return to drinking? " By searching the WWW and talking to professionals, I was made aware of other options. Options in which I am given the control and I make the choices in my life. No surrendering. No turning it over. I am not faced with the question of what to do about the steps. I am living in my longest stretch of sobriety because I decided that I was going to change. I was going to stop treating myself badly and stop ruining my own life. And here I am - almost 30 days with no desire to drink and a whole lot of clarity about my choices. I am torn. I do want what you have. And I do want to maintain this sobriety and grow - but this time I took responsibility for myself and I am staying sober. How am I supposed to work the steps? I am screwed at step 1! I will remain active here, because I love you all and am so grateful that this is available to us crazy alcoholics - but I feel like a trader somehow. Anyhow, maybe I will be inspired and will come back to join the fellowship. Good luck to all of you and God Bless you all.


Member: Beth H.
Location: SWO, Canada
Date: August 26, 2002
Time: 09:00 AM

Comments

Good morning all! ((Mich H.)) Thanks for that! Because I'm so new, I'm still afraid of showing anger in the midst of all these peaceful folks. Thanks for putting it in perspective. ((Jenny W.)) I'm also worried about recognition, but it's been pointed out to me here that everyone at that meeting is there for the same reason. That helps me a lot. Someone also suggested that I find another meeting in a different neighbourhood. After nearly two decades of boozing, I don't think any neighbourhood is without a few drinking buddies for me. I know them all LOL! Honestly, I've been hoping to run into some old friends at a meeting. People I used to drink with, haven't seen in a while, and can maybe rejoin along the path to sobriety. I think I'm still trying to grasp Step One, but I'm getting there. Step Two is constantly in my mind. Step Three - well, I am really going to need guidance there. That's okay. I've got at least the next two decades for this. Right this hour I'm not drinking, and only looking forward to the next hour. That's getting me through. Although I might have to stop off at Coffee-Guzzlers Anonymous pretty soon :]. Love to all of you, and have a wonderful day (please).


Member: Jack H.
Location: Orlando
Date: August 26, 2002
Time: 09:36 AM

Comments

Hi all you newcomers. My name is Jack and I'll always be an alcoholic. Thanks especially to AnneC for touching my heart and reminding me about myself. I too was terribly afraid to go to that first meeting. When the chairperson in my first meeting asked if there were any newcomers, GOD raised my hand because I had neither the strength or the courage to do so myself. THOSE PEOPLE SAVED MY LIFE!!. That first meeting was on April 30, 1980 and crazy old Jack has not needed a drink since. This deal works if we just give it a chance. Keep coming back until the miracle works for you too. jackh@netpass.com


Member: JC
Location: San Jose
Date: August 26, 2002
Time: 10:13 AM

Comments

Hi kirsten, JC here... I'm an alcoholic. I know how you feel. My own experience has been to sort of sit back, observe, and catch the positive vibes from AA meetings. Done it off & on for years. It made me feel better, so much so that I figured I was cured and could put less importance on AA, figuring that my will had conquered. That lasts about 30 days and then WHAM drunk again. I've fallen for it too many times to let it happen again. I turned myself over to HP yesterday. You won't believe what difference it makes. Just because you turn to HP doesn't necessarily mean you don't have to think for yourself. I'm no authority on staying sober (yet), but I sure know how to slip. 29 days is quite an accomplishment, but look at some of the others here, decades! Keep with it, keep trying. -JC


Member: Scott T. K.
Location: Ft. Bragg
Date: August 26, 2002
Time: 11:19 AM

Comments

Hi My name is Scott and this is my who knows but me count at trying to stay sober. This is my first day again but now I have more to lose.


Member: Craig L (Dogmanor@yahoo.com)
Location: Aloha, Oregon
Date: August 26, 2002
Time: 12:21 PM

Comments

Someone told me early on the steps were “(G)ood (O)rderly (D)irection”, but it was not until I admitted to myself, I could never beat alcohol, that I became willing to start working the steps. I thought my sponsor was going to show me the secret “hand shake” and I would be in the club and not have to drink again. I did have to drink again. In my last relapse, I realized what it meant, “I had to change everything”. Willingness led me back to the steps and the steps along with your help have shown me a degree of sanity and have allowed me to make a connection with a God of my understanding. I have not had to drink for some time, but I cannot do it alone. I need your help to continue sobriety and the gift of Joy in my relationship with you and my God.


Member: Christa W.
Location: Yuba City, CA
Date: August 26, 2002
Time: 12:40 PM

Comments

(Anne C.) your doing good sweetie!!! (Jen C.) the days to get easier, Keep coming back. (Beth H.)(Madalaine)Thank you so much for all of your input. I am on day 8, had a drinking dream last night, I didn't drink in it but was shown how easily tempted I can be. Powerful. Must remain vigilent. I thank God every night for another 24 hours and for having all of you to give me strength and inspiration. Have a peaceful and smiley day! Christa W.


Member: Mark W.
Location: St. Louis
Date: August 26, 2002
Time: 12:51 PM

Comments

So many good shares. A few doubting Toms as well. I come from a family that had the dis-ease of alcoholism well entrenched. Both parents died of alcohol induced liver faiure, so my chances were as nearly nil as anyones. The way one works the steps is THEIR way. The big book is a set of instructions that are there for those of us who just can't manage on our own, in other words ALL alcoholics. Those who make it, do so because they follow the steps to the best of their own abilities. Those who don't have chosen not to follow the steps. The first hurdle for me was to actually go through those doors at my first meeting. I found many there for the same reason that I was there. My spiritual experience occurred prior to the first meeting. I had decided to quit drinking, and called AA, but this was not the first time I had. This time I was pushed to actually follow through with the meeting, and steps. Today, I am sober and have been for years. I now realize that God was the power pushing me to join AA, and got me to that meeting. The folks there saved my life! Life has not been a bed of roses, but I don't need to drink over that bad times, nor the good. My employer of twenty five years decided that I was no longer needed. My wife did as well. Between the two, I ended up broke and alone. Sadness was there for both of these major life changes. Had I attempted to drink either or both away, I would still be hurting when not drunk. My life is less exciting today, but it is worthwhile and I get to have a real relationship with my kids, 19 and 26. One has chosen to live with me instead of mom. The other has come from not wanting to even know me to being closer that ever in the past. I got another job that pays about half of what I made before. I have been there over a year now. there are so many things to be thankful for today that the list can be endless. It is my sincerest hope that all those newcomers that visit here take the opportunity offered by AA, and join the rest of us on the road to happy destiny. Where is happy destiny? I don't know either, but I am on the way! Mark W. LMW007@aol.com


Member: FORREST
Location: USA
Date: August 26, 2002
Time: 04:10 PM

Comments

i think that mr. higher power had a good comment . my be miss mich h of dayton bch. fl. should read the comments and start working the steps . feelings people have them so stop getting all up in there feeling . or go some place else please. we are trying to work are program . then theres people like you pissing in are coffee how cares about what the people what to name there selfs. maybe you sould go to your knees and pray for a little help too. did it piss you off when JOHN LENNON SAID THAT STUFF ABOUT THE BEATLES AND GOD


Member: Kevin W.
Location: Memphis,TN
Date: August 26, 2002
Time: 05:48 PM

Comments

This is my second day back into the program. I wish you all well. I just left a meeting and am on my way to a second one. I feel better and believe today I do not have to use alcohol or any other mind altering substances.


Member: Marsha L.
Location: Guam
Date: August 26, 2002
Time: 05:51 PM

Comments

Maybe the problem is, there are too many re-post vixens! Staying sober is not easy - it takes a choice and five salient 'dogs', as I put it. Make your choice, but don't be so un-resilient as to say, "I have to sleep with a stuffed animal." Kind of peaceful, but with a yearning to be pleasant and sacred. Try a little taping around the eaves. Suck it up to a righteous alcoholic to put on a Moses show. Keep the faith, but also FOSTER your reaction. It will show, especially to your relationships with pastors, investigators, and so on.


Member: Jude B.
Location: Memphis
Date: August 26, 2002
Time: 07:50 PM

Comments

Jude, alcoholic. Marsha, I agree that the "FIVE DOGS" is probably the best part of AA's philosophy. It really gives us a reason to stick with the program!


Member: Lisa T.
Location: WI
Date: August 26, 2002
Time: 08:57 PM

Comments

Hi all, and thanks for the meeting... what are the "five dogs" of aa? i am only a few days sober after a week long binge that cost me yet another good job. the same shame, same guilt, same suicidal thoughts... however, i have been talking to another friend in recovery about "self will run riot" and REALLY taking the 3rd step and then plunging right into the 4th, because my arrogant attitude (i've heard alkies called "egomaniacs with low self- esteem")seems to leading straight to the bottle every time. maybe humility would the way to go from now on?


Member: AnneC
Location: Canada
Date: August 26, 2002
Time: 11:37 PM

Comments

Almost at the end of my 6th day (must admit I felt like a drink to-night), thanks for the encouragement to pour it down the sink (you know who you are), or I might have slipped. Jack in Orlando thanks for sharing, I have the AA number in my area now and I promise I will call this week. To Scott in Ft. Bragg, I will say a prayer for you tonight, hang on to-morrow's another day and who knows what's round the corner, God Bless. Christa W-Yuba City, thanks a million for your support wish you were close enough for a hug. Mark W thank you for your wonderful, courageous story you are a wonderful example for everyone. Keep up the good work and God Bless. What is an F2F mtg? YOU ARE ALL MY LIFELINE. THANKS FOR EVERYTHING. I WILL BE BACK.


Member: Sarah
Location: NW USA
Date: August 26, 2002
Time: 11:46 PM

Comments

Welcome to all newcomers. Working the steps of the A.A. program have been to me a gift of a 'spiritual awakening'. At each stage of recovery from day one, each day has given it's own gift ... it is beautiful reading people's Experience, Strength and Hope at each person's personal length of soberity. I wanted to share with Frank S. of Portland, Or. (I'm on the coast). I too am a retread, at first I expected to have the same spirital gift I had in my past sober time but this gift is different (not better or worse). I think each day of soberity has it's gift, and each time of soberity has it's gift ... some similarities, some differences but each are special gifts. Thanks one and all for sharing your Experiece, Strength and Hope, it gives a "Healing Power" for another day sober. Keep Coming Back!


Member: G B
Location: USA
Date: August 27, 2002
Time: 01:06 AM

Comments

Happy to have found this site. Yes, I must admit, I am an alcoholic, and that is my first step. I know that I have probably made this step before and not gotten past it, but I am trying to see myself at step 4 maybe 5 in my mind at this point anyway, and that will be progress and an accomplishment. Today I am just glad to be sober and alive.


Member: John H
Location: England
Date: August 27, 2002
Time: 02:56 AM

Comments

Hi all from your English Correspondent. Going to Majorca today (that's near Spain for our Yankee pals!) for 4 weeks of sobriety. And that won't be easy as I'm only 3 weeks into the programme. Been to lots of face to face meetings and feel all tooled up with good advice, tricks to avoid drinking, love and fellowship from my fellow members. Keep up the cyber sharing - I'll read all your posts from the archives when I return.Best wishes to you all - don't drink today. John


Member: Robert K.
Location: TN
Date: August 27, 2002
Time: 03:50 AM

Comments

Hello friends,Robert The Alcoholic here.A little housecleaning first.If the lady or gentleman wants to post as Higher Power let them.Who knows,maybe the One we've been praying to may turn out to be a guy from Cleveland sitting in his basement running the world from his computer.Makes as much sense as many of the other concepts of God.Lighten up. To Kirsten:Don't let anyone anywhere anytime tell you that you can't work the program without a formal "GOD".Hope and a belief in a life better than the one you had brought you to this point.Don't take the first drink and keep an open mind and the Universe will reveal itself. Blessings to you all.Remember:The fear of drinking can drive you to drink. '


Member: Madelaine E
Location: South Texas
Date: August 27, 2002
Time: 04:07 AM

Comments

Hugs to everyone--(((((Everyone)))))! Anne C--Aren't you glad it was "down the sink"? There have been several times recently when I have been saved because there was none around. The urge passed but I might have taken that drink if it had been easily available. F2F means face-to-face. I think it's important to get a BB(Big Book). Do you have a Used book store in your area? You can usually find them there. Also AA meeting places and central offices also sell them. New hardbacks are $6.75 in the US. You're doing great, Anne. Remember, ODAAT! Scott T.K.--Congrats on 1 day. Keep coming back. Kevin W.--Congrats on 2 days. KCB. Christa W.--8 days is awesome. KCB. Kirsten--There are options. I know there are other recovery programs out there that work for people. I say "do what works for you"! I have heard from a lot of long-timers though, that AA is the best God has to offer! Thank you all for helping to keep me sober. Coming to this site and reading your posts really helps me. Blessings to all, Madelaine


Member: John P.
Location: Tampa Bay
Date: August 27, 2002
Time: 05:43 AM

Comments

Hi, John Here I'm an alcoholic. This is day four, I can't say it's been fun, or easy but I do feel better. It took many years for this fog to settle in my brain. It will take more than a few rays of sunshine to burn it off... Today I pray for sunshine. Thanks to everyone for caring and sharing... John


Member: Tom
Location: S. Fla.
Date: August 27, 2002
Time: 05:57 AM

Comments

Michaela: Big Book page 63 "We found it very desirable to take this spiritual step with an understanding person, such as our wife, best friend, or spiritual advisor. But it is better to meet God alone than with one who might misunderstand" Tom (alcoholic)


Member: Beth H.
Location: Great White North
Date: August 27, 2002
Time: 07:44 AM

Comments

Morning! ((Kirsten)) I once read something written by a recovering alcoholic in which she described her struggle with the concept of a Higher Power. She couldn't really embrace the whole God thing. Then she thought of the ocean -huge, eternal, life-giving; certainly a power greater than herself! I was so inspired by that! Sometimes my HP is the ocean, carrying away my pain and guilt and making me clean, sometimes it's the combined experience of every sober alcoholic saying "This program works", sometimes it's the good old God of the Israelites (my upbringing). Often my HP is just that smarter, saner, voice inside me that wants me to be healthy and happy, and is usually stomped down by the sick, addicted part that can't survive on its own. I find it really helpful to ask myself "Am I the greatest power in the universe?". Usually the answer is NO, but that doesn't mean that I have no strength or wisdom or courage to add to all this. I hope I'm not sounding preachy - you sound like you're doing great, certainly better than I am at this point. I just wanted to share. Thanks all for listening. I am 20 minutes away from my first 24 hrs. (yes, again). Hoping to make it continuous this time! Have a lovely day!


Member: Christa W.
Location: Yuba City, CA
Date: August 27, 2002
Time: 11:27 AM

Comments

Beth H. Glad your back at it. We all stumble and fall at least once in our lives. The trick is getting back up. Christa


Member: Andrea
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Date: August 27, 2002
Time: 02:11 PM

Comments

Yes, I am an alcoholic, whew, I said it finally!! Here I am (thank you higher power), my first real attempt. Truth to be known I have tried several times over the past five years, never stuck. I have the book, I've done the meetings, I've prayed until it became a mantra. Any suggestions, anyone? My younger brother has been clean two years (yes it's a family illness) and his strength gives me hope. This is especially difficult for me - I was relocated six months ago, I'm 1,500 miles from my friends and family and I'm the subject of a layoff - I have no support here (thank god for this site). The way I figure it, in these challenges it will take a lot of courage to stay sober (at least the money for the poison is gone). I am here for help and support. Anyone have any suggestions? I am so afraid to pick up the phone and find the first meeting in this strange land. So many of you are further along and have wisdom I am trying to find. Wishing you all the love and happiness in the universe!


Member: tedu
Location: wheaton, md
Date: August 27, 2002
Time: 03:00 PM

Comments

Andrea, This is a program for people who want it, not for those who need it. There's a lot of foot work to stay sober one day at a time. Go to meetings, get a sponsor work the steps. At the end of our meetings here we say keep commming back it works if you work it. The truth is if you want what we have you have to do what we do to get what we got. Today.


Member: Ron C
Location: north carolina
Date: August 27, 2002
Time: 03:36 PM

Comments

hello everyone, my name is Ron and i'm a drunk.I was first exposed to a.a. about 20 yrs. ago. I tried to get sober for the first time one year ago, made 6 months. question-was i really alcoholic! after 5 months of research i realized the truth,YES YOU ARE. there are many sick people in this world, but because i am an alcoholic i have been exposed to the solution. the 12 steps of recovery through a.a. I am thankful to be an alcoholic, and to have found a group of people who can help me to live a better way. thank you all.


Member: Rhonda G
Location: Iowa
Date: August 27, 2002
Time: 04:25 PM

Comments

Hi everyone. My name is Rhonda and I am an alcoholic from Iowa. I just met 60 hours of sobriety and I have to say it has been a very tough 60 hours. I am new to this online AA meeting place. Today I have been craving alcohol a lot. I have spent a lot of time on the phone with support people which has helped me out a lot. I just keep reminding myself that I have made it this far and alcohol won't solve or help my problems at all. This helps me to not drink. I don't know much about the 12 steps and what each of them are. I would be very appreciative to any one who has any suggestions for me. Thank you all for listening to me. This has helped me get through another craving. God Bless You All.


Member: Joe P
Location: Chicago
Date: August 27, 2002
Time: 04:30 PM

Comments

Andrea - Post to the Coffee Pot page here, also, there is at least one regular woman poster there who is from LA. Ask for help, and the help will follow. And to all - Don't Drink, go to meetings, read the Big Book, and ask for a lot of help (including a sponsor)would be a good way to make a beginning on the steps.


Member: Marsha L.
Location: Guam
Date: August 27, 2002
Time: 09:15 PM

Comments

I firmly believe that to succeed, we need to place our hearts in a blender. Stir it up, and what do you get? Start all over, it's painless. What I regret is that I never EXPLORED the depths of what alcoholism has not offered me. It makes me shiver to think back on my inconsistencies. What a frigid, turbid life drinking is! When I finally realized that my life was all about NOT THINKING resonably, I leapt into it! Recognizing one's shallow trembling is what this program is all about. I wonder how many people out there are thinking right now about what that means. Or at least, figuring out what that means. How appropriate, huh?


Member: AA
Location: Here
Date: August 27, 2002
Time: 09:32 PM

Comments

JOE Why can't Andrea post here? She is a newcomer...


Member: AnneC
Location: Canada
Date: August 27, 2002
Time: 10:29 PM

Comments

Hi to Everyone: Just nearing the end of one week without a drink (I can't believe it!). I just can't thank everyone on the site enough. You have been a godsend to me. To Madelaine E-South Texas hugs back to you and yes I am very glad I did the sink thing. I will try to get a copy of the BB, of course if I make it to a mtg I should have no problem finding one! Thanks for caring. To Jack in Orlando I did call and get the locations of AA mtgs closest to me. Now comes the big question, WILL I FIND THE STRENGTH AND COURAGE TO GO!! I will keep saying lots of prayers until I find that MIRACLE. Thanks for giving me a helping hand. You certainly should be proud of your accomplishments. Hi Scott T.K. Hope you are doing well to-day. Keep up the good fight. You are a winner not a loser. As I said before being able to share is a gosend to me and I will keep coming back. Thanks a Million.


Member: Doug M
Location:
Date: August 27, 2002
Time: 10:52 PM

Comments

Hi all. Anne, glad to see you're doing so well. Please, PLEASE don't be afraid of going to a meeting! There are people of ALL AGES, all races, all economic background with the same problem as us. There is no shame in admitting to alcoholism; it is an illness, much the same way as a cold or diabetes is. I know that when new people show up at our meetings, we are excited to see them! They've made a decision to better themselves, and each new story to come to the meeting is refreshing and inspirational. It is also a NECESSITY in AA meetings not to put pressure on newcomers. We all have insecurities, and we all hate to be singled out. Just remember that everyone at the meeting was once in the same shoes as yourself. The first step is always the hardest; the next few steps are like dancing!


Member: Aviance C.
Location: LA
Date: August 28, 2002
Time: 12:00 AM

Comments

Hi Im Aviance, a 25 year old wife and mother of a 6 month old daughter. In all of my life I never thought I'd have these wonderful blessings. So why am I writing? Because I don't want to keep screwing things up. I don't drink on a regular basis. I'm a binge drinker. I can go a while, usually a few weeks and then something inside of me sais one last time and there I go. It's awful. I don't want to keep hurting my family, I can't loose this battle. Help me. I want long term sobriety, what's the secret. Why can't I get it right? Nevertheless, I'm glad I stumbled upon this site. Thanks for listening.


Member: Joe P.
Location: Chicago
Date: August 28, 2002
Time: 12:13 AM

Comments

AA Here (and Andrea) - the key word was ALSO. Post to the coffee pot ALSO. In addition to this page. I'm hoping she'll hook up with a woman in LA who posts to the Coffee Pot to give her support to attend a F2F meeting. Of course Andrea can also post here. I apologize if I was unclear.


Member: Paul B.
Location: northern lower MI
Date: August 28, 2002
Time: 01:04 AM

Comments

Hi my name is Paul and I'm an alcoholic. Just want the readers to know that there are people out there that really need this program. Do whatever you can to help an alcohlic get on his feet. Without carring Him or Her too far. Hard line to make.


Member: Marsha L.
Location: Guam
Date: August 28, 2002
Time: 01:46 AM

Comments

I felt like I was dragging my whole body into a meeting when all I could trust was the shirt on my back. Being afraid makes you into a martyr, and being blessed to carry a body over the doorstep. What a feeling it is to go through all 12 steps, knowing that progress is efficient to put you in line with all that needs to be said. Likely the first focus is just to breathe. Then make do with what you have. Trying to accept changes to your whole feeling is part of the treatment; you yourself must make the lifeline changes. Just align yourself with everything needed, Anne, and let recovery be your ultimate respect.


Member: Kate B
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Date: August 28, 2002
Time: 02:04 AM

Comments

hi friends,Kate here, alcoholic. I'm currently on day 24 of not drinking and I have good days and bad days. The thing I am finding challenging is dealing with unpleasant thoughts in my head, which I would normally use a drink to escape from. It usually along the lines of: I hate my current life, I wish I had a job, I wish I was sharing with decent housemates, I wish I had a new car, god I'm bored/lonely, when will my life ever get better. Its just a lot of junk thoughts which I have to try and overcome or I will drink again. I try to get to a meeting a day, and it helps a bit. But sometimes the frustration of coping with what I've got at the moment seems overwhelming. It doesn't help that I am also prone to depression, so I don't feel that "honeymoon" period I hear of other newcomers in AA of having (you know the ones who are bursting with happiness at being sober- I envy them). I have been told that I need to cultivate an attitude of gratitude and try and write a gratitude list every day to ward off feelings of self-pity. It just doesn't seem like enough some days. Another thing I've been told is "Easy does it -but do it", implying that I need to be the instigator of postive change in my life. Well, I buy the Saturday papers and scan the employment section each week with little luck. Being unemployed is horrible when you are new in recovery. I get phone numbers of people at meetings but cant ring them till 6o'clock in the evening when they're home. Having nothing to do during the day and no money to do it with scales down my life considerably. I know this sounds like a pathetic whinge but I'm afraid to share these feelings from the floor. I guess the only solution is to print up 20 copies of my resume and hit the streets going into shops and asking if they need help, cos the jobs sure aren't advertised. I know I have to focus on getting sober, but I think being out of work compounds my negative self-esteem and limits my ability to implement change in my life. Sorry to sound like a moper but I guess I'm just going through one of my not-so-good days. I know that a drink would make evrything worse, so I know I have to hang on. Any suggestions?


Member: Kate B
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Date: August 28, 2002
Time: 02:05 AM

Comments

hi friends,Kate here, alcoholic. I'm currently on day 24 of not drinking and I have good days and bad days. The thing I am finding challenging is dealing with unpleasant thoughts in my head, which I would normally use a drink to escape from. It usually along the lines of: I hate my current life, I wish I had a job, I wish I was sharing with decent housemates, I wish I had a new car, god I'm bored/lonely, when will my life ever get better. Its just a lot of junk thoughts which I have to try and overcome or I will drink again. I try to get to a meeting a day, and it helps a bit. But sometimes the frustration of coping with what I've got at the moment seems overwhelming. It doesn't help that I am also prone to depression, so I don't feel that "honeymoon" period I hear of other newcomers in AA of having (you know the ones who are bursting with happiness at being sober- I envy them). I have been told that I need to cultivate an attitude of gratitude and try and write a gratitude list every day to ward off feelings of self-pity. It just doesn't seem like enough some days. Another thing I've been told is "Easy does it -but do it", implying that I need to be the instigator of postive change in my life. Well, I buy the Saturday papers and scan the employment section each week with little luck. Being unemployed is horrible when you are new in recovery. I get phone numbers of people at meetings but cant ring them till 6o'clock in the evening when they're home. Having nothing to do during the day and no money to do it with scales down my life considerably. I know this sounds like a pathetic whinge but I'm afraid to share these feelings from the floor. I guess the only solution is to print up 20 copies of my resume and hit the streets going into shops and asking if they need help, cos the jobs sure aren't advertised. I know I have to focus on getting sober, but I think being out of work compounds my negative self-esteem and limits my ability to implement change in my life. Sorry to sound like a moper but I guess I'm just going through one of my not-so-good days. I know that a drink would make evrything worse, so I know I have to hang on. Any suggestions?


Member: Madelaine
Location: Texas
Date: August 28, 2002
Time: 05:50 AM

Comments

(((Everyone)))! It's day 38 for me now. It seems longer. I'm really glad to see all the new people posting here. For advice, read all the posts, check some of the other meetings, and even check the archives. You'll find lots of good advice from successful long-timers. Blessings to all!


Member: kirsten
Location: montreal
Date: August 28, 2002
Time: 08:23 AM

Comments

hi, kirsten here - alcoholic. {{Aviance}} I am also a mother of a 6 month old ( and also a 5 year old). I am 31 years old and am a binge drinker. I know just where you are coming from and relate to the idea that you don't want to jeopardize the blessings that you have been given...yet still take chances with them. I have made plenty of promises about changing in the past, but it took a very scary bad night for me to stop. I have slipped so many times in the past BECAUSE I am a binger. my crazy mind tells me I am okay because it only happens once in a while. It's not like it's every time or every day, for that matter.... The thing is, it did happen and when it did, it was bad. I am a sloppy lush type of drunk and it doesn't paint a very pretty picture of my perfect little family. I can suggest you get to meetings (it's really good to expose yourself to the AA beliefs via f2f meetings) to meet some people that have the same problem as you. They can help you by offereing their experience, strength and hope to you. For me personally, I know, with all of my heart and soul that I cannot drink. Not today anyways. Today I will not threaten any of the beautiful gifts I have been given in life. And on the nights when I want to drink I tell myself even more often. I call someone. I have often phoned the AA hotline coz I didn't have any other phone numbers. It's kinda wierd but it works. They don't know you, but they want to help you stay sober and they'll talk to you - talk you through. It is a huge decision to give it up. Especially when you are 25, your friends still party, and you need to let loose sometimes coz of all the responsibilty motherhood demands. I know. Some folk are given a moments of clarity and others need to find enlightenment themselves. Don't beat yourself up. Most women alcoholics have self esteem issues. It's normal. Keep coming around and reading up on it. We will be here whenever you need us. Good luck . Sorry for my continually long posts. Seems I am long-winded! You should just hear me talk! I love all of you and wish you a great 24! 30 days today! ODAAT. k.


Member: Mike W
Location: Hillsdale M i. USA
Date: August 28, 2002
Time: 09:02 AM

Comments

Welcome Newcomers!!! 1st- I CAN'T... 2nd- GOD CAN... 3rd- I THINK I'M GONNA LET HIM !!!!!!! Some things are just beyond my natural capabilities. This was a tough pill to swallow for an egomaniac with delutions of grandure.. If I'm a construction worker and I have a peice of equiptment, material, etc. that I need to move from point A to point B, and its heavier than my ability to move it, I don't have any problem at all accepting the fact that I need a "Power Greater Than Myself" to come in alongside and "Help" I Have turned that over to something capeable of performing that task.. So it is in my life I am not by design capable or meant to carry some of the loads and try to do some of the things I have tried to handle on my own.(that's how you get hurt!) God Has an amazing plan of reedemtion and provission for all who would receive His Free Gift Offer !!! For More Info Read The Gospel of John... Blessings and thanks for LISTENING!!!! Mike W. EX- drunk S.S.G.(sinner saved by grace)


Member: Mike W
Location: Hillsdale M i. USA
Date: August 28, 2002
Time: 09:03 AM

Comments

Welcome Newcomers!!! 1st- I CAN'T... 2nd- GOD CAN... 3rd- I THINK I'M GONNA LET HIM !!!!!!! Some things are just beyond my natural capabilities. This was a tough pill to swallow for an egomaniac with delutions of grandure.. If I'm a construction worker and I have a peice of equiptment, material, etc. that I need to move from point A to point B, and its heavier than my ability to move it, I don't have any problem at all accepting the fact that I need a "Power Greater Than Myself" to come in alongside and "Help" I Have turned that over to something capeable of performing that task.. So it is in my life I am not by design capable or meant to carry some of the loads and try to do some of the things I have tried to handle on my own.(that's how you get hurt!) God Has an amazing plan of reedemtion and provission for all who would receive His Free Gift Offer !!! For More Info Read The Gospel of John... Blessings and thanks for LISTENING!!!! Mike W. EX- drunk S.S.G.(sinner saved by grace)


Member: Mike W
Location: Hillsdale M i. USA
Date: August 28, 2002
Time: 09:04 AM

Comments

Welcome Newcomers!!! 1st- I CAN'T... 2nd- GOD CAN... 3rd- I THINK I'M GONNA LET HIM !!!!!!! Some things are just beyond my natural capabilities. This was a tough pill to swallow for an egomaniac with delutions of grandure.. If I'm a construction worker and I have a peice of equiptment, material, etc. that I need to move from point A to point B, and its heavier than my ability to move it, I don't have any problem at all accepting the fact that I need a "Power Greater Than Myself" to come in alongside and "Help" I Have turned that over to something capeable of performing that task.. So it is in my life I am not by design capable or meant to carry some of the loads and try to do some of the things I have tried to handle on my own.(that's how you get hurt!) God Has an amazing plan of reedemtion and provission for all who would receive His Free Gift Offer !!! For More Info Read The Gospel of John... Blessings and thanks for LISTENING!!!! Mike W. EX- drunk S.S.G.(sinner saved by grace)


Member: Jack H.
Location: Orlando
Date: August 28, 2002
Time: 09:26 AM

Comments

Hi all. My name is Jack and I'll always be an alcoholic. AnneC and others, I am delighted to see you doing so well. Early sobriety isn't always easy but it's much easier than being a drunk. Rest assured that a Power much greater than myself will give you ALL of the strength and courage you need if only you ask. On April 12, 1980, I said three magic words -- "GOD HELP ME". I have not had a drink since. Keep coming back, THIS DEAL WORKS for anyone who makes the effort.


Member: Toni C
Location: Newark, NJ
Date: August 28, 2002
Time: 11:31 AM

Comments

Hi my name is toni and I've been sober for 1 week and feel great. I've felt great before and hope to remember this feeling for today. I get depressed (more depressed) when I drink and can't cope with any of life's problems. Now I can take on the world. Sounds very eary don't take that first drink.


Member: Toni C
Location: Newark, NJ
Date: August 28, 2002
Time: 11:36 AM

Comments

Dear Jack, Your right about early sobriety not being easy. Especially when everyone expects you to drink. I've hidden this problem from my friends and even my new husband. I'm scared he would be angry with me for not telling him the truth about my addiction. Although I never was truthful to myself or anyone about my drinking.


Member: Marsha L.
Location: Guam
Date: August 28, 2002
Time: 01:15 PM

Comments

Hello everyone. The steps are the way to feel better about yourself. Just try to use emotions to strengthen your dim resolve. Using alcohol is not a strength; it utilizes everything that you don't need to repress. Put yourself in the shoes of another and lose that feeling to ponder. When you become sober, you become more and more willing to accept the differences between the two.


Member: Bill P.
Location: Brighton, MI
Date: August 28, 2002
Time: 02:46 PM

Comments

Hi Everybody. Bill here, alcoholic. 107 days sober and it's true that things begin to get better. To the people in their first few days of sobriety, hang in there. Steps 1,2, and 3 are the life-line that I work one day at a time. This fellowship has already taught me that the only day that is truly important is today! Facing life and all that comes our way is so much better sober than running away from it while using. I love you all and thank God for your presence in my life of recovery. Peace and God Bless.


Member: Chris H.
Location: Fla.
Date: August 28, 2002
Time: 02:48 PM

Comments

I'm Chris--I'm an alcoholic/addict---To all of you who are fearful of meetings....Please make that first step. YOu will be ssooo glad you did. I too remember the horror ond shame of walking into that first A.A. meeting. I too was so afraid that I would see someone I knew. My HP with His sense of humor made sure that I saw the most embarassing person Icould see!!!Now I look back an laugh..Initiation by fire!! ...I am so very glad now that I made that move. NOthing has been as wortth it as overcoming that fear to walk in that first meeting.


Member: Jen C
Location: AZ
Date: August 28, 2002
Time: 03:14 PM

Comments

Hi everyone. Well, I’m trying again. I made it two days but didn’t make it through last night. I am having difficulty understanding a couple of things. This is my first time trying AA and I haven’t been to a F2F meeting yet. I do have the book though. I know I don’t want to drink anymore but my friends and my lifestyle leads me to be in a lot of bars. I have to book gigs and set up sound equipment for a local band in my area. I don’t think I can completely take myself out of that scene. Is that the only option? I’m not sure if it will make that much of a difference. It’s not the only place I drink. I am only 20 years old although I feel like I’m 30 (counting life experiences). My friends are still at that age where going out is an everyday thing and I don’t want to be the only one not going out. Especially because I am usually the one rounding up the crew to go out. Any suggestions? I want all the help I can get. Thanks for all of your sharing. I want to make this work.


Member: Mark L.
Location:
Date: August 28, 2002
Time: 04:37 PM

Comments

hi. i made a decision to quit drinking today. i just visited a friend in nyc and went on a bender. this weekend i attended a wedding and at the after party i had to be taken home because i blacked out. the next morning, i had a terrible hangover and decided to have a screwdriver. my insistence on drinking is in part related to my anxiety and panic attacks, so although i'm able to go out for a few beers and be fine, i often fall into the trap of having panics attacks the day after and sometimes use alcohol to remedy that. the clincher for me this weekend is that i slipped in the rain, cut my lip and chipped a tooth. i'm not sure how to define my drinking problem because i don't drink on a daily basis, i don't feel physically addicted and can go weeks without thinking about drinking. i realize that on occasions my behavoirs related to drinking are unnacceptable, and i often wonder if moderation is an option. i also notice that oftentimes the company i keep influences the amount i drink. i not a big fan of labels so i'd like to talk to people who seem to be in the same situation as myself. i'm all for taking an extended break from drinking, and believe that i'd benefit from therapy or a support group. i'd appreciate the group's insight. thanks.


Member: Kevin W.
Location: Memphis TN
Date: August 28, 2002
Time: 06:05 PM

Comments

Mark no one can decide for you if you are an alcoholic. Like you many of us have the desire to drink like other people but find it impossible. I have heard others say you will know when you have had enough. Pick up a copy or I believe it's available online of the AA "Big Book". If you just to take a look read the chapter called "Bill's Story and The Doctors' Opinion" My name is Kevin and I am an alcoholic and an addict.


Member: paul j
Location: ozarks
Date: August 28, 2002
Time: 08:10 PM

Comments

thanks to all of you who posted...i have been sober a little over 18 years now and i have found that there are about as many ways of staying sober as there are people in aa...the one thing that each has is this: these folks have learned to incorporate the steps into their daily lives and thinking and then they have passed it on...does this mean that we do it perfectly each day...it does not...it simply means that we give life and sobriety our best shot each day and trust in God to help us through...oh yeah, having a few friends in aa never hurt anyone


Member: Cathie L
Location: Baltimore, MD
Date: August 28, 2002
Time: 09:10 PM

Comments

Hi everyone my name is Cathie and I am a drug addict and alcoholic. I am doing pretty good today. I had 7 years clean and sober and I tood prescribion drugs. I then became a Herion addict. I was a 23 year old kid when I first cam eto the rooms. I'm not sure wht happended, but my diease listened, became educated and then I was on the streets. Funny, I never thought in a million years I would be who I am. Anyway, today I finally am trying Methodone. Not a great solution but the only one that I can do. At this point, my diease will not allow me to kick any more habits .. so meth was the only answer. Bad answer but I am going to try to actually detox off the program. The meth program is a GREAT idea but the government would rather keep "drug addicts" on dope then to pay to get them clean. Thank god I had the 7 years of recovery behind me. I will be clean again or die trying. Methodone is a drug. I am using. I hope that I stay where I am today in my head. I mean I don't want to stay on Meth for the rest of my life. Thanks for listening and pray for me. I will pray for all of us. We as dope fiends and grunks get a bad rap. We are good people. We just have issues. We need and helping hand and friendly smile and so love and everything will work out. It will not be easy but I can do it and so can you!!! I love AA's and NA's I'll keep coming back you do the same


Member: Debbie
Location: SD
Date: August 28, 2002
Time: 09:16 PM

Comments

My name is Debbie, I'm an alcoholic. To Jen C. in AZ, (ha) try to look at it as being the "cool" one who quit first. If you are indeed the Coordinator of your group, they will look up to you for this. I know because I am in a similiar situation. Also, drinking becomes way less cool in your mid twenties and when you are in your early thirties getting drunk is, basically, taboo. You will begin to reep the benefits of sobriety immediately and, hopefully, it will help to fuel your desire to live a healthy lifestyle.


Member: Human
Location: in transit
Date: August 28, 2002
Time: 10:15 PM

Comments

Dear Forest of USA, Please, please go back and read your post, if it makes sense to you then repost it, if not learn to use the spell check you MORON. Thank you kindly, Miss Mich, of Daytona Bch.


Member: Isis P
Location: Atlanta
Date: August 28, 2002
Time: 10:29 PM

Comments

Hi! I have 5 days now. And my problem is I have been in and out of AA. And because of that can't seem to bring myself to walk back in those rooms. My shyness will eventually kill me! It prevented me in the past from speaking out at meetings, reaching out to other members getting sponsors-to work the steps with me. I was always the last one to come in and the first to leave. Perhaps I feel my life is too sordid. I'm 44 and have lived like a bedouin gypsy working jobs like waitressing and club work. The last 5 years I've stripped.And that has not been a piece of cake as far as staying sober. I know I can't continue as I am if I want sobriety. And I do! But how can I tell all these people what I've been doing?


Member: Matt C
Location: SD
Date: August 28, 2002
Time: 10:52 PM

Comments

Hi, of all the steps that I find the most difficult, it would have to be step four. I really have a problem with telling total strangers about me and what is going on with "me", likes it's any of your bussiness. Anyway I would like to know if anyone else feels this way. thx


Member: Marsha L.
Location: Guam
Date: August 29, 2002
Time: 02:30 AM

Comments

I am having a hard time staying sober right now. The feelings that I have repressed so long are long to meld. HELP! I think the problem is there, but this only leads to sorrow, if I may say so. Questioning the problem is essential to me, daunting with my character. Is anyone out there going through the same thought process as me? I long to find a mountain to ride out my anger on. In fact, even a small hill, but the recovery process just clings to the same insanities that always come bounding back to me. If only I could learn something. It seems like every time I do, the pain comes back. Sorrow? I only hope less. But what about repressing alcohol abuse in the heart? My experience is always mellow in the addiction department, but whose to say I can't do it? Maybe God finds us in a way that goes against our repressed shame. Looking back, I know that I was always there, but when I think about it, I see that my heart wasn't in sync with the program. At least, I could start sharing more with my recovery friends, but I don't want to throw a 'stinger' into their circle. Is that my problem? Repressing my identity in a world of liaisons and heartlessness? How can I resolve my feelings??


Member: Jack H.
Location: Orlando
Date: August 29, 2002
Time: 09:12 AM

Comments

Hi again everyone, my name is Jack and I'll always be an alcoholic. Isis P. in Atlanta, you've just told us here a little about yourself and I, like many, many AA folks admire that kind of courage. Remember that no matter what we may have done, our experience can be of help to others. Get yourself to regular meetings and discover that God loves you and so do I. A happy, SOBER, 24 to you all. Jack


Member: Rhonda G
Location: Iowa
Date: August 29, 2002
Time: 11:50 AM

Comments

Hey everyone. This is Rhonda an alcoholic from Iowa. I have now been sober for 4 days. It seems that I have been craving the alcohol non stop for the past two days. I journal a lot about how I am feeling, I do a lot of drawing and I am currently working on putting a model car together. I have a great support system that I reach out to quite often. One of the members of my support system gives me a card or a gift for every day that I am sober. Which I find to be very helpful through out my day. I sit and read the cards or just look at the gifts when I start to get an intense craving. However there have been many times when nothing that I do to combat these cravings help to calm them down. Yesterday I ordered the 12 and 12 book and the Big Book. I should be getting them some time next week. I would appreciate any comments or suggestions on other things I can do to help me get through these cravings. Thank you for listening and letting me share. God Bless You All.


Member: Marsha L.
Location: Guam
Date: August 29, 2002
Time: 02:38 PM

Comments

Rhonda, SHARE your results. Everything comes in line once you've found the 'bang' of your program. Pushing all your cravings away can sometimes be like a big win on campus - surely you can find a less meager road to travel. When I crave alcohol, I try to envision myself in a place where alcohol is not a crutch. In order to share the shame, share the way.


Member: AnneM
Location: NY
Date: August 29, 2002
Time: 04:29 PM

Comments

Hi everyone, I'm Anne & I'm an alcoholic with 103 days sober. ((Kirsten)) I sometimes struggle with the program also. I still want to do things my way, have some control, etc. I often hear that we can't do it alone. I don't know if I agree with that. However, I also don't want to find out -- as soon as I made the decision to stop drinking, I started going to meetings. There are many "fundamentalists" in AA who feel that the AA way is the only way. If someone who's been in the program for 20 years relapses, they say that person wasn't working the program properly. To me that starts sounding trite. Cultish. I'm sure there are people out there who worked the ideal program and relapsed; as well as those who didn't work the perfect program and have 50 years. It sounds like a convenient comment to me. But, there is a lot about AA that I do like. So, I try to take the best and leave the rest. AA is not my only support; I read self-help books, see a therapist. Sometimes "outside" suggestions differ from AA suggestions; I have to do what I feel is best for me. As for Step 1, from what I get of it, we don't have to admit that we are powerless over everything, just over alcohol. A speaker at one of my meetings said that the BB mentions powerless once, but mentions power many times. I think this Step gets taken out of context. IMHO, being powerless over alcohol means that I can not control how much or when I drink. That's all. Step 2 - came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity: with the support of others, I can get better. More than one person is a power greater than myself. And on and on thru the steps. What works for me. Maybe it will be proven to me later that my way won't work. But maybe it will. I need to do what I am comfortable with. Sorry for rambling!! ((Madelaine)) You sound wonderful! I remember reading your first few posts, and you have come a long way, baby! ((AnneC)) Yes, situations like Frank S's scare me too -- long term sobriety then a slip or relapse. But I try not to project that far ahead and feel defeated before I even start. Even if I were to ever relapse (which is certainly not my plan), any time sober that I had put together would be better than no time sober. Hope you've tried a meeting. I feel that this post is very scattered, but sometimes it's hard for me to express myself clearly.


Member: Marsha L.
Location: Guam
Date: August 29, 2002
Time: 08:43 PM

Comments

Anne M, the "higher power" is but one of the many euphemisms which are emoted quite clearly by the individual AA member. Being in the program for 20 years and relapsing would do credit to that. Also, being sane is enough to pull anyone's heart strings. Checking one's heart at the door should be a pre-requisite to approaching the concious donor. LIVING requires much more than spatial integrity. I'm having trouble staying sober right now, but I think my reason is that I have been using the wrong directional 'signs' that are always returning to my brain. "STOP MARSHA!" I yell at myself, but my stability is in check. Maybe you could try being the 'stability donor' at your meetings, while trying to contain all the enthusiasm of the cultists there. I belonged to a cult once, and it was no fun. Drinking can become cultish, once you set your gains straight it becomes less orthodox.


Member: paul j
Location: mountain home, ar
Date: August 29, 2002
Time: 10:02 PM

Comments

cathy l...i knew a man in dallas on methadone...he finally kicked it as well...he was an inspiration to all in his homegroup...just a bunch of old veterans from vietnam...he died late last year and i will always remember him...he touched my life and you have too...take care and may God bless you and yours Matt C...lots of folks have felt the same way about steps four and five and after they went out and did some more research and development they came back and found the importance of these steps...may you discover this the easier, softer way...that is, may you discover it without a relapse Rhonda G...congrats on 4 days...we all started out with just one...have you tried any regular meetings...they seem to work wonders...i am sure they will help you as well thanks to all of you for posting...i have moved recently and miss my old home group...i was with them for 12 years and we were close...we still are in a spiritual sense but God would give anything to sit and have lunch with a bunch of them right now...i hope this inspires all of you who do not have a home group to get one...when someone ask me what the big deal is about a home group i always think; we will be amazed before we are halfway through...i wanted friends and i found them in my group...they are still around...in another state...i am making new friends here...may God bless all of you


Member: Neil P
Location: NOrthern Minnesota
Date: August 29, 2002
Time: 11:37 PM

Comments

I have been sober for 3 months on the 29th. Alcohol almost took my life. I almost died from liver failure, my blood was so thin and the doctor didn't know if I'd recover. My doctor had talked to me for about a year , trying to get me to stop drinking. I knew I had a problem but I thought I was too busy working to quit. I went thru a treatment program. Now I try to go to 2 AA meetings a week. I feel that AA is a wonderful program and not something to be ashamed of. I am proud to be making a step in the right direction. Don't be afraid to attend a meeting, the people there are the most helpful people there are! By helping the newcomers they help themselves. We all have to work together to beat this disease.


Member: Charlie
Location: midwest
Date: August 30, 2002
Time: 03:27 AM

Comments

Hi, an alcoholic here with a question. I've been sober for about a year now, but I wanted to know, how do you all deal with what I call "replacement crutches"? For example, I have been taking a sleeping pill almost every night since I quit drinking (which, incidentally was how I slept before - basically drank myself to sleep.) I am smoking more than ever, and I drink caffeine in amounts that are astounding to friends, relatives, etc. I don't claim that these substances have 'replaced' alcohol, but I sometimes feel as if I would 'crack' if I tried to give them up. In other words, I feel that I'm using other substances to deal with my alcohol addiction. It's so hard to deal with one addiction, let alone several, at one time, but I wondered if others here are having, or have had, these same problems?


Member: Chris T.
Location: Eugene, OR
Date: August 30, 2002
Time: 03:36 AM

Comments

Wow! I just descovered this site. I have spent my life trying to avoid myself. I was talking with my sponsor tonight and I made what I considered to be a painful observation; mainly that I am an egomaniac and domineering. I was expecting him to tell me that I'm not really that bad. What he actually said was "Chris, that comes across every time that you speak." I was floored! I went home and called my parents. I guess I did that because I know that with all my faults they will always love me, and I needed to hear that. I am currently working the fourth step for the first time, and I find it extremely difficult. No small wonder that I was trying to avoid me! I am a jerk!! I wouldn't want to be my friend. As we talked I came to realize that I am not going to change anytime soon. I need to learn to moderate my behavior. As I'm sure that you've heard, I need to "fake it untill I make it." I have been told by many people that I trust that change will come, but it doesn't happen soon and it is not easy. I can't imagine staying sober without going to meetings. My AA buddies are today my only friends! They understand me in a way that no one else can. I don't need to worry about drinking when I'm in their presence; we have a common goal. I know many folks that have been sober for many years, and they all say that if they stop going to meetings it's only a matter of time before they will start drinking again. I believe them. They seem to already have something I really want! Good luck to you all. We all stop drinking sooner or later; It's just a matter of wether you're alive when you stop.


Member: Madelaine
Location: South Texas
Date: August 30, 2002
Time: 03:58 AM

Comments

Hi to all! Anne M--thanks for your words of encouragement. It helps. Charlie--You don't say what kind of sleeping pills you are taking, but if you need them every night I would say this is a problem. Are they prescribed? You should probably consult your doctor and wean off. Is the caffeine a newly acquired habit? I found caffeine easier to stop. I just gradually replaced my Normal coffee with decaf. Then I finally quit coffee altogether. I could tell a difference in my energy level but got used to it. As for cigarettes, that's harder. Personally, I would wait until you're sober longer and have the other two crutches taken care of. A therapist I once had, who was also an alkie, told me she waited six years to quit smoking. She said she had been too sick and her sobriety just too tentative to try sooner. She's been sober 16 years now and a nonsmoker for 10. I guess it's really up to the individual, but I wouldn't overload myself. I think it's more important for us to remain sober. God bless!


Member: Brenda
Location: NE
Date: August 30, 2002
Time: 06:27 AM

Comments

Hi to all. I'm Brenda and I am an alcoholic. I get so much encouragement and support from reading all of your shares regularly. I decided 18 days ago to quit drinking again as it was beginning to consume me; "a beer would really taste good right now" led to many daily. I don't think this is in the books, but I find that when I am able to witness/observe a drunk in action or a poor soul with a tracheotomy all discolored and blowing secretions out...I find renewed insight and fear that empowers me to work the steps. Someone was searching for ideas regarding HP. Some very good advice was offered. I could relate. To me HP can be that part of me that wants to live life to its' fullest. It can be my children and my desire to be the best I can be so that they can be proud of me and respect me as a positive role model. The ocean concept was very refreshing. I believe that most of us are very consumed with guilt over our drinking and this is partly to blame for our reluctance to share ourselves with others. However, when we break the silence and share those dirty secrets which lead us to feel guilt, it is so liberating and freeing. To the man who is worried about sleeping pills, cigarettes and caffeine...Which is most debilitating and which is able to help you right now? I would think whatever enables you to stay sober would be most helpful. Compare your dilemma with the methadone treatment of our recovering heroine addict friend. However, the advice to consult a doctor as well and openly explain your concerns is a very good one. My best wishes to all you. You help me so much with your words and experiences. In closing, some of us are very new to this whole computer thing and couldn't find the "spell check" if we looked...not all programs are easily decipherable.


Member: Mike W.
Location: Hillsdale Michigan USA
Date: August 30, 2002
Time: 08:34 AM

Comments

Best wishes and prayers for all those struggling in and out of the program, and all of those dying in our place today. I have been releieved of the obsession to drink by the practicing of this simple twelve step program.. getting a Power greater than myself in my life, going to meetings, and putting at least half the effort into this as I used to expend on my drinking. Where the mind goes the man (or Woman ) follows. If I want my behaivior to change, then I must be willing to change my thinking. My whole attitude, beleif system, and outlook on life are tied up in the thoughts that I've allowed myself to accept, ponder, meditate on and embrace,... I had to in my case, I can't speak for anyone else, and I certainly don't speak for AA as a whole. But for this alcoholic, I needed God to come in and take my old desires and create in me new ones. And take my old way of thinking, and help me to see and to understand Truth, and give me Wisdom, and to help me to cooperate with His Spirit and create in me a new spirit. And this is what He has done for this Ex- Chronic Drunk and Ipersonally Know that He'll do the same for Anyone who will trully do the third step and invite Him into Your life. Do it right now if you haven't allready and make today the most important day in all your life!! You'll never regret having made that decision!!! Have a great day,, No, Have the BEST DAY YOU'VE EVER HAD!!!!!!! Thanks for helping me.. Mike W.


Member: Beth H.
Location: Canada
Date: August 30, 2002
Time: 08:59 AM

Comments

Good morning everybody! ((Mike W.))Your summation of the first 3 steps was so helpful to me! I wrote it in my journal for easy reference. I can't, God can, I think I'm gonna let him! That's so awesome. Last night I was having a tough time and decided to visit an AA chat room. I found I had the same trouble there as I do in any chat room, not to mention real-life social situations. Everyone knows each other, I don't know how to include myself in the conversation, I end up just sitting there and then I leave. This lack of social skills is part of the reason why I started drinking at the age of 15. Anyhow, I'm a little down today because of that, and also because we're burying my father-in-law today. He died in November of liver failure - guess what brought that on...! I know that God has already given me the strength to get through this day. I just have to tap it. Love to all. I will Keep Coming Back.


Member: Rhonda G
Location: Iowa
Date: August 30, 2002
Time: 02:21 PM

Comments

Hello everyone. This is Rhonda from Iowa. I have now been sober for 5 days. On fridays I go racing which is always a situation where there is alcohol around. I am concerned about this. However one of my best supporters will be with me tonight. So I am sure I will get through it. I have never drank before or during the actual races. I believe that it is hard enough to drive a race car and drinking would make it that much harder. There is always an after the race drinking time when the car is getting loaded and the fans are allowed to come to the pits. Its an even bigger celebration if you win the final race in your division. I have already won the points championship in my division. I feel like I am just rambling but I had to get this concern off my chest and share with someone. Thank you all for listening. Congratualtions to everyone on another day of sobriety. Keep up the good work. I am hoping to be able to start AA F2F meetings next week. I am scared to do this for I don't like F2F groups. Have a wonderful day.


Member: kirsten
Location: montreal
Date: August 30, 2002
Time: 03:33 PM

Comments

hi, kirsten here - alcoholic. {{Anne}} thanks for adressing my concerns. As I mentioned before, I realize it is irresponsible of me to bring these things up. I know that in early sobriety ANYTHING can make you go back to it and I don;t want to muddy the water for anyone who wants to believe. Years ago in a long bout of sobriety I announced at a meeting that I thought it was all BS and I walked out. Years later a lady who was just starting out in sobriety told me that it was my comments that led her back to drinking. Yeesh! Another one for my 4th! Anyhow, I can relate to your outlook. Would you be willing to email? kaleigh_k@yahoo.com To everyone else: Good luck with this 24, especially Rhonda! That would be some crazy drinking and driving! You CAN do it - just for today! 33 days ODAAT.


Member: Rhonda G
Location: Iowa
Date: August 31, 2002
Time: 02:01 AM

Comments

Hey everyone. Rhonda here. I just want to let everyone know that I made it through racing with out drinking. It was tempting but I said NO. Thanks to everyone for your support especially to Kirsten. I am so thankful for this wonderful site. It has helped me so much in the past few days. May God Bless Each and Everyone of you.


Member: Madelaine
Location: Texas
Date: August 31, 2002
Time: 04:38 AM

Comments

Hi to all! Beth H--How is it that your Father-in-law died in November and was just buried yesterday? Condolences to you and your family. Rhonda--A "racing" welcome to you. Congrats on not drinking. You don't say, but I assume you are more of a binge drinker. No matter, just glad you're here. Hang in there. I have 41 days sober now. With my HP in charge I will continue to make it ODAAT. Thanks to AA and these meetings for support and encouragement.


Member: Melissa S.
Location: Ontario
Date: August 31, 2002
Time: 09:07 AM

Comments

One day at a time and if I make it through today I will have a whole week under my belt. My father-in-law too died of problems caused by drinking too much. Tried telling my husband that the other night, shut me out like you wouldn't believe! When I told my brother-in-law about what I discovered he was floored, but he also agreed. The sister-in-law is also a drinker. She quit three years ago, but is back to having the occasional one or two or three..... Thanks for all your shares,


Member: Karen P.
Location: At;anta, GA
Date: August 31, 2002
Time: 12:18 PM

Comments

Hi, I'm Karen, and I'm an alcoholic. My sponsor suggested that I share in an online meeting because I keep avoiding it in F2F meeting, mainly out of fear. Fear of what? I guess making a fool of myself. If called upon share I feel like I babble and don't make any sense, and can't really remember what I said after I say it. I will have six months sober on Labor Day, but still feel very new in the program. I have been reading your entries and feel like I can relate to you. I hope someone will respond to me. I don't want to talk to a voide, but seeing how you respond to and support others, I feel safe enough to put myself out there and give it a shot. I once got over my intense fear of speaking in public, because I thought I had to. Now I feel I have backslid, probably because I'm out of practice. My administrative counterpart at work has called upon me to make a public presentation, and it has me shaking in my boots. I realize I'm not talking about my alcoholism, or maybe I am. I wasn't shy about talking when I was drunk! I hope I will hear from some of you, and that being here will build my courage to share in meetings close to home. Thanks for being here.


Member: Rhonda G
Location: Iowa
Date: August 31, 2002
Time: 01:48 PM

Comments

Hi to everyone. Madelaine -- to answer your question on the weekends I would do more binge drinking than anything but during the week I couldn't get through the day with out having 2 to 4 drinks. Karen P. -- I too have a problem with sharing in F2F groups but I find it a lot easier to share here. I think as you get to know and trust people you will find it easier to open up. Please hang in there and continue to come back. I have now been sober for 6 days. I am thankful for that. Thank you to everyone who shares and shows their support. I will definitely keep coming back. I wish everyone the best today. God Bless You All.


Member: Karen P.
Location: At;anta, GA
Date: August 31, 2002
Time: 02:27 PM

Comments

Hello again. Rhonda G., is this your first time in AA? You sound familiar with the program. Thanks for responding. I, too, will keep coming back. It is definitely more comfortable in here, but I'm going to keep working on the F2F.


Member: Chris. H.
Location: Fla.
Date: August 31, 2002
Time: 04:12 PM

Comments

I'm Chris---I'm an alcoholic...To Rhonda--Hang in there and just show up at the meetings... You don't HAVE to share...and if you do, please don't worry about what everyone thinks...we were all where you are at one time or another. I think you will find that people in the meetings are very supportive and understanding....I have been in the program about 7 yrs. , but right now I feel like I am starting all over again. I am really enjoying this site and the honesty and candor of everyone here. I was unable and fearful of going to f2f meetings for about 4 years...and just about lost my sobriety. I am able to get to about 2 meetings a month which is not enough, but certainly better than before. It is so great to be back. I was trying to do it with only this site and my sponsor. I was pretty depressed and miserable. THe meetings are giving me a place where I can talk what's going on with me . I can also hear what I need to hear more often. I,also, learn not to beat myself up about my shortcomings... that used send me to my addictions. WHen I talk about the things I have messed up in, they get out of my head and don't seem so huge. Thanks for listening.


Member: Nancy B.
Location: Michigan
Date: August 31, 2002
Time: 06:12 PM

Comments

Hi, I'm Nancy and I'm an alcholic. I went to my first meeting on Thursday night after trying unsuccessfully to be too hungover to go. My higher power, GOD, took all the stumbling blocks out of my way. The people at AA were so wonderful and shared their stories as the people in the 2nd step group wanted me to stay at their table. I am so glad. They spoke to me and I identified with them all. I am on day 2 of being sober. I was so relieved when I made it thru the grocery store without getting the urge to buy some beer or wine. Hope is there I just have to keep believing and go this day by day, minute by minute. Thanks for listening - Nancy


Member: Beth H.
Location: Middle O'Canada
Date: August 31, 2002
Time: 06:18 PM

Comments

((Madelaine)) You're from warm and toasty Texas, I'm from frosty Canada...why do you think we couldn't bury him until now?? ;) Thanks for your condolences. It's been a tough couple of months, a lot of reality in our faces about alcohol and this family. He was 62 years old, way too young to die the way he did. All I can hope is that I won't, my husband won't, my son won't end up the same way. Trying to take it one day, one hour at a time, listening to the voice of God. I think alcohol is like a set of earplugs; it is for me anyway. But why would I want to shut out happiness, healthiness, sanity?? I don't! The disease does! This site, and all of you, is such a refuge for me. Thank you, (((ALL))). Be back here tomorrow!


Member: Marsha L.
Location: Guam
Date: August 31, 2002
Time: 09:49 PM

Comments

Sharing your hurting is a common cause of the "paralysis". Going toward the goal will make your path much more straight. Talking to God can make you realize that your problems are condensed and realized, but only if you say so. My director has always said that a "wet heart is the negotiator." Prioritizing your dues will make a tough heart cleaner. Changing your process of humility will induce a fire that is tough to bury, and will lead to less and less progress. But, Rhonda, look at the bright side; at least you didn't say so! :)


Member: John P.
Location: Tampa Bay
Date: August 31, 2002
Time: 09:50 PM

Comments

(((Karen P))) I to am here for courage. Today is my eighth day of NOT drinking. I have not been to a F2F yet. In my case I think it's more guilt than fear. I left AA a while back, to resume my drinking career. I find it very difficult to bring myself to a meeting. This site has been my lifeline for the past week,If not for this site, and reading the BB that has been collecting dust for all these years, I would be drunk today. I pray that God will give me the courage to go to a real meeting soon. I know that without that support and, seriously working the steps, I cannot make it. I hope to attend a 7:00 am meeting at Crystal Beach beach tomorrow. Once I get to the first one, I should be OK. I wish you the best. Thanks to EVERYONE for posting, no doubt you have kept me sober! John


Member: Karen P.
Location: Atlanta, GA
Date: August 31, 2002
Time: 10:30 PM

Comments

John P., I will be hoping that you make it to your meeting. I go to them, I just don't share. If you go and say what is in your heart, they will welcome you back. Perhaps I should heed my own advice. Thanks for your response. Perhaps I will find my courage here.


Member:
Location:
Date: August 31, 2002
Time: 10:34 PM

Comments

BLEW IT


Member: Marsha L.
Location: Guam
Date: September 01, 2002
Time: 12:27 AM

Comments

Drinking is like a cow taking second helpings of salad. It always ends up with a third helping, and a fourth. We all need a little forceful encouragement to just say "WHY?" Further the grace of your meetings by taking this to heart. Purposeful slander of oneself can be elaborate but clear, and the absolute efficiency of your methods is important. Checking one's heartstrings at the door is another one. Don't lash out at the 'cool brain.' Trust yourself in the 9th step, and don't be lazy about your self-denial. I like to think of life as a "day on the beach of listening". Why not trust yourself with a friend?


Member: Madelaine
Location: Texas
Date: September 01, 2002
Time: 06:09 AM

Comments

((((Room))))!!! Marsha L--I'm glad you're here! Do you speak from experience? You don't say how long you've been sober. I'm sorry, but your postings are waaaay over my head. Please simplify so I can benefit from what you're trying to tell us. I'm not anywhere close to the 9th step yet. Blew It--Start over. Try again. Keep coming back. John P--Congrats on your 8th day! Hope you made that first F2F meeting. Do you have a sponsor? KCB! Chris H--Glad you're here. Seven years! Wow! It doesn't sound like you're happy, joyous and free, though. What's up with that? What's your story? Rhonda--Congrats on 6 days! You can do it. This is a good site. Try some of the other on-line meetings, too. KCB! Karen P--Glad you're here! Public speaking is a fearsome thing. Being out of practice is definitely a contributing factor, but the alcohol is, too. I used to speak publicly frequently and had no problem, but it has been years and a lot of alcohol ago. I'm pretty much a recluse now but i"m working on just getting out at all. I think your HP can help you here. Good luck! Beth H.--Sorry. I didn't think about the frozen ground. It rarely freezes here and that is never a problem. My mother died at 62. She was alcoholic but never admitted to it. She had also been hooked on Rx tranquilizers. In addition, she was a smokerfor years. Her identical twin sister didn't drink but did smoke. She's still alive 17 years after my mother died. No doubt there were other factors, but I think the alcohol was the major factor. Anyway, glad to see you. KCB! I have 42 days now, and will soon be in contact with a new lady who is a potential sponsor. My last sponsor wasn't working out for me. I haven't been to a F2F yet, but hope to make one soon. These on-line meetings have been a big support and a large part of the reason I'm still sober. I will be back. Regards to all of you!