Member: George S
Location: Charlotte NC
Date: August 17, 2002
Time: 03:56 PM
High all! Just thinking about the cure all, known as AA. There is only one cure all and its made of lead. I'am sure it will work well for me. I wish you all well and maybe we'll meet in the after life. Goodbye
Member: Miranda
Location: Vermont, USA
Date: August 17, 2002
Time: 04:20 PM
That won't cure anything George. It's just selfish. Keep Coming Back
Member: Dan
Location: Middle East
Date: August 17, 2002
Time: 04:38 PM
I'm dan alcoholic. Thanks for the reminder Diane to stay in the here and now. One Day at a Time - How I hate simple answers to difficult problems! To George S. - I also thought about the final solution when I tried quitting on my own. I was more miserable not drinking. As a last resort I gave AA a chance - after a few weeks I realized that AA had actually given me a chance and I am grateful. Many fine strangers here care enough about you to have shared their experience,strength and hope with you. There is hope George. Glad to be sober today.
Member: Mich H.
Location: DAYTONA BCH FL
Date: August 17, 2002
Time: 04:46 PM
Hiya guys, Mich here, alcoholic, so sad, and grateful at the same time. I was were George is not too long ago. Goddamn it I needed to hear what he had to say today, to remember where I was. I sincerly hope that his disease doesn't kill him today, I pray for him and all others out there still suffering. I have read some really good posts here for him, he is the only one that can help himself, HE HAS TO WANT IT!!!! that was the way it was for me and everyone i know of. He was made welcome, for every suggestion, i saw an excuse. if he doesn't die maybe he will come back, I hope so. Thank you George, you have no idea how much you have helped this alcoholic today.
Member: Christine
Location: Southern CA
Date: August 18, 2002
Time: 12:10 AM
Hi all, Christine and I'm an alcoholic. George, I can totally relate to how you feel. I have 76 days sober and this is my second time around. It is much easier than when I started in March 2001, because I surrendered and followed the directions of the program. I feel the same as you do at meetings. I hate feeling left out and I didn't really care for these people. But when I decided to take a risk and approach people I made friends. When I saw other newcomers I introduced myself and asked if they wanted to go to a meeting sometime. Probably the quickest way to feel more comfortable is to get a sponsor and let them take you under their wing. Be open and honest and follow their direction. It really does work but not right away. The more I follow what is suggested the easier this program becomes. This time around I want it to work. After going out again I know I need to make major changes in my life. I'm working at making new friends and talk to a higher power. For me that is my grandfather who died March 11, 2002 and loved me more than I may ever. I know there's a heaven and he's definitely there and wants me to have a good life. My best friend and favorite thing to do was alcohol. Replacing it isn't easy but how can it when it was such a huge part of my life? But if its possible for millions of others in AA it can be for me too. Please try.
Member: Madelaine
Location: Texas
Date: August 18, 2002
Time: 08:46 AM
Don't do it, George. Depression goes hand-in-hand with alcohol. Give AA a chance. People who have been through it can help and advise. God bless you. You are in my prayers.
Member: Miranda
Location: Vermont, USA
Date: August 18, 2002
Time: 08:52 AM
I didn't have any hope when I was drinking. I remember meeting a friend at the store years ago and I hadn't seen him in a while. I asked him " So hey, how are you doing?" and he said "Oh fine, just waiting around to die!" That's how I felt. I never seriously considered killing myself because I have a son who depends on me and people who love me and I always knew that and I knew how much it would hurt them. I know people who have had loved ones who committed suicide and I know how much it hurts the ones who are left behind, the mess - physical and mental that it leaves. I know a man whos grandfather shot himself in the living room of their home, Lee had to scrub brains off the wall and clean up blood and then his grandmother had to continue to LIVE there, watch TV in that living room and have friends over and all the rest. That's why I say to George S, if you are still here George, that killing yourself is one of the most selfish acts there is. You know I did not sleep very well last night George because I was thinking about you and whether you had actually gone and done it. I do not even know you and at this point I can say that I'm pretty pissed off at you and if you can make ME feel that way someone who's never even met you just think how you are making or have made the people who know you and love you feel. You cannot force people to have hope. All you can do is let them know that it is out there. Hope IS out there, for me I found hope of a way of life that does not involve alcohol in AA you may find it somewhere else or maybe you'll never find it but hope IS there, you have to want it to find it. "I'll see it when I believe it"
Member: Ann
Location: MA
Date: August 18, 2002
Time: 09:45 AM
Ann - alcoholic. George - If your at the "jumping off point" and feel you have nothing to lose why not give sobriety a chance. As I've heard said in meetings you can always get your misery refunded if you want to go back "out there." As you can see from the posts above a lot of us were at the same point you are right now and we are here now in a different space and are able to offer our experience, strength and HOPE. I did not come into AA with enthusiasim - I came when I felt I had absolutely nowhere else to go. Sobriety isn't always easy but it's always worth it. Sometimes it feels worse before it gets better-(it was that way for me). "Drinking is but a symptom of our underlying problems" but "There is a solution" and if you CHOOSE AA it's in the 12 steps of Alcoholic Anonymous. Please call your local AA office -plus there is probably someone there you could talk to. Call your doctor, the local suicide hotline - anyone who'll listen. We're pleading with you because we know there is hope and help for you. Like Miranda said - you have to WANT help. I've heard that there wouldn't be enough room in the halls of AA if everyone who NEEDED it were there. If you don't like AA there are other programs. The first time I called our AA Central Service office - I was horribly hungover - a man answered the phone. He shared a little of his story. I told him how scared and humiliated I was and I didn't think I could go to a meeting. They have a list of people on hand who have some years of sobriety who are willing to do 12 step calls. He asked me if it would be ok to call a woman on the list and give her my number. I said yes - I couldn't believe someone would do that for someone they didn't know. Within minutes she called and then came to my house with her sister - who was also in recovery and spent some time with me. They told me a bit of their stories and one of them took me to a few different types of meetings for awhile. I didn't get sober right away but the seed was planted! I was amazed - out of all the different types of therapy I had had - that experience by far was the most helpful. My journey had begun with just a "mustard seed" of hope. I heard that's all you need to get started. If you don't believe - "Believe that we Believe."
Member: Kerry B 3/21/80
Location: Idaho
Date: August 18, 2002
Time: 10:26 AM
AA is not a "cure all" and should not be expected to be that for anyone. However, there were many "problems" that I had when I first walked into the rooms, that I had no idea were related to my drinking and using. Besides the abstinance from alcohol, through working of the steps I became a different individual. My outlook on life and the people in this world changed enormously. It helped me to see better what I could do for myself, and what I could not do. I had to learn to let go of alot of the people, places and things that I had used for years to keep myself on the barstool, drowning in self pity and self loathing. There is hope, and it is available to all of us who are suffering from this disease, if we are willing to open our minds, even just a tiny bit at first. Willingness is the key to a new attitude and a new life. If I could do it, so can you.
Member: Teresa C
Location: Delaware
Date: August 18, 2002
Time: 10:32 AM
Hope is a good topic, I thought I would never have hope thought I would be drinking the rest of my life feeling sorry for myself. But if you try there is always hope, and people who can give you the hope also.On 8/20 I will have 60days never had that before, so hope is out there if you really want it. Thanks
Member: kirsten
Location: mahar
Date: August 18, 2002
Time: 11:00 AM
hi everyone, kirsten here - alcoholic. So. today is 22 days. I am very pleased and hopeful.... I feel in my heart that sobriety will stick this time. and I do feel grateful and blessed for my last night of drinking coz if it hadn't been so crazy and horrible I would not be sober today. .. In fact, given that it is Sunday a.m. I most surely would be hungover now. I have hope that sobriety will improve my life but have to remember that the honeymoon period is still on. I have to tell you that I am majorly stuck in Angry right now and I just need some inspiration to get out of it. My last night of drinking was with about 5 families at a camping trip. Yes, I upset the entire camp. Yes, I was drunk and disorderely. So, I am sitting here seething because I just realized that they have all gone camping and haven't invited us. Intellectually, I understand it. Heck, I wouldn;t have invited me either. But emotionally I am hurt and pissed off and want to hurt them back. Really now, I am over the top and have to let it go but can't seem to. My newly sober mind is tabbing up all the times I took care of one or the other when they were wasted ( which is pretty often- this is my drinking buddies we're talking about) But beyond them being drinking buddies they are also friends in the day to day life that doesn't include any alcohol. Damn, I am sorry about the run-on but really I am so worked up over here and don't know how to let it go and would hate to drink over something so stupid. Any inspiration to offer?
Member: Bernie S.
Location: Woodside, NS
Date: August 18, 2002
Time: 12:07 PM
Hello. My name is Bernie and I am an alcoholic, sober these past 5 years by the Grace of God and the program of Alcoholics Anonymous my sponsor passed on to me using a book called Alcoholics Anonymous. I'd like to say I got sober on my first attempt, but I'm a slow learner. It took 4 years of slips to get the first medallion. There was a time when I stood on a stool with a noose around my neck looking for a place to put the rope. My sponsor told me where there were a few good trees. He told me suicide was the last selfish thing I would ever do. He also said he would miss me. He used to say, "We, you and me, admitted that we were powerless over alcohol". We accomplished together what I could not do alone. When I came here I had nothing. I was a dead man walking. Just a shell. You gave me hope. You told me it would get better. You were right. George...if you're still there, don't give up hope. Call your sponsor. Get to a meeting. Share how you feel. Reach out a bit further. It will get better.
Member: diane f.
Location: ohio
Date: August 18, 2002
Time: 12:11 PM
hello, diane here. kirsten, someone taught me a tool called "witnessing". when you feel strong emotions, act like a curious explorer. step outside of yourself and "watch" what is going on. we are not controlled by our emotions, we can CHOOSE to be or think whatever we want. (and sometimes it is to enjoy being angry--we do deserve our anger). But, we have a choice as to how we want to be today. life is a play, and we can act the part of Hamlet, but we are not Hamlet; therefore, we can act, feel, behave anyway we choose...but the choice is ours. (you can be angry, but you are not anger). Camping? A thought...plan your own camping trip--one that you and only you get to enjoy from a new sober perspective! Invite whoever you want to share in that moment. My friends have often left me out of events. it part because THEY liked the crazy drunken fool that i was...too bad...i just have to go my own sober way with all the new, untold things that it has to offer, even if it "feels" uncertain. i trust that everything will be in divine order.
Member: forrest
Location: mn
Date: August 18, 2002
Time: 01:22 PM
god give us this time on earth and its up to you on what you do with it.and everyone can make a bad turn.i dont know why there has to be so many wrong turns. all i can do is hope i make the right ones. i have been sober for about one year and beleave me i have made lots of wrong tures but if its a wrong one all i can do is turn around to take the right one.
Member: Billy A
Location: Milwaukee
Date: August 18, 2002
Time: 02:47 PM
HI all, My name is Billy and I am an alcoholic and an addict. Into my 18th day of sobriety and as long as I stay sober there is hope. Hope that I can become the person that I want to be. Hope that I can regain my self-respect and the respect of others. Hope that I can forgive myself for all my faults and hope that I can begin to see the good in others through less self-centered eyes. Hope that I can do God's will and not my own. With alcohol all this is gone. Stay strong and don't drink NO MATTER WHAT!!!(at least for today)Billy A.
Member: Rich P
Location: Colorado
Date: August 18, 2002
Time: 03:45 PM
((Billy A)) Well said! And Ditto for me.
Member: Curtis L
Location: Goliad, Texas
Date: August 18, 2002
Time: 04:50 PM
(((George))) "Hope" you're reading this. (((Miranda, Dan, & Mich))) Just cuz I care. (((Christine))) Way to go.... 76 days is super. (((Madeline))) Good to hear from Texas; it's over 30 days now isn't it? (((Ann))) Awesome share. (((Kerry))) It does get different, and sometimes really tough if you're dumb like me and think just being dry is enough. Pain got me to the steps. (((Teresa))) Terrific! 58 days and nights are 1392 without a drink. (((kirstin))) 22 and no longer blue. Way to go. ODAAT (((Bernie))) Good share, and glad you didn't find that "Hanging Tree". We have one here in Goliad that was used a lot in the 1800's, but not for suicide. (((Diane))) We get a good look at ourselves in the steps, and it is very revealing as you suggest. I finally got to know Curtis. (((Forrest))) I was told if my decision was not a good one, it simply gave me another opportunity to make another decision. WOW, what a concept. I thought I was stuck with being a failure. (((Billy A))) Way to go on 18 days.... Each day is a victory, and is a gift, the present, the now. Reality. (((Rich P))) Welcome. I came to AA totally devoid of any hope that I could solve my problem. I had tried every thing I knew for decades, and still could not control my drinking. I really thought that I was just a sorry weak-willed son of a bitch that wouldn't/couldn't stop drinking. Didn't know I was sick. That Saturday morning that I came to and called AA, again, I was allowed a moment of clarity, honesty, and realized my helplessness/hopelessness, and I WAS at the jumping off place. That night, in my first ever meeting, each person gave me a crumb of hope because they were laughing, living, and enjoying life, AND NOT DRINKING. From that hope, I have grown. At first I thought just not drinking would be enough, but no, I had to do the steps and work on me and have a spiritual awakening as THE result of the Steps. It works, it really does, if you work it. Love and Hugs in the fellowship, curtis093040@selectrec.net
Member: Linda O
Location: SJ
Date: August 18, 2002
Time: 04:52 PM
Linda O alcoholic addict first time at the site hoping to stop drinking. Would apprciate any suggestions as to the best way to do this.
Member: George S
Location: Charlotte NC
Date: August 18, 2002
Time: 04:53 PM
High Ya'll, sorry for writing or threating such a horrible thing. Thank you for your prayers and kind words!!! Been going through some bad times. At least I havn't been drinking. I havn't gotten drunk since April of last year. Just been lonly and depressed. Thinking about going to a meeting and giving AA a second chance. Sorry about ...you know and thanks again!!!!
Member: Miranda C
Location: Vermont, USA
Date: August 18, 2002
Time: 07:56 PM
Thanks for letting us know you're alright George. Give it a chance. People do care.
Member: Miranda C
Location: Vermont, USA
Date: August 18, 2002
Time: 08:17 PM
Hi Linda O, Welcome. The best way to stop drinking is to stop. It would probably be a good idea to talk to a doctor, tell him or her exactly how much you drink and get some medical advice. When I quit drinking the physical withdrawal was not bad but depending on your intake it can be life-theatening or just uncomfortable. So if you think you might drink enough to have a bad time physically don't fool around. See a doctor. The other thing that would be a good idea would be to look up AA in the phone book, call the number and talk to the person who answers. Try going to some meetings. You don't have to have stopped drinking to go, you just have to want to. Hey - glad you're here - is SJ South Jersey?
Member: Sarah
Location: NW USA
Date: August 18, 2002
Time: 08:36 PM
Hope ... a great topic. The Experience, Strength and Hope shared in each story, the Experience, Strength and Hope in each step and each tradition. It is a new kind of Hope, a realistic kind of Hope, it is stated in the prayer on p. 76 of the big book "My Creator, I am now willing that you have all of me, good and bad." A new kind of Hope ... Our Creator using the good and bad in all of us for usefulneess to the "Healing Power" and other human beings. The new kind of hope that even our 'liabilites' may be of use to our Creator and to others. A new kind of hope I call "Healing Power" Thanks one and all for sharing your Experience, Strength and Hope to live another day Sober.
Member: Glen
Location: Tx
Date: August 18, 2002
Time: 08:47 PM
Linda, I'm kinda like Miranda - and Nike - just do it! Actually, it was a blessing when I learned we don't quit for life, or for a week, or anything like that, we just quit for a day at a time. Anybody can do that, even me. Make tomorrow you first day - come back tomorrow night and let us know how it's going.
Member: Linda O
Location: Ca
Date: August 18, 2002
Time: 09:02 PM
no I am in Ca, will try it one day at a time. Have tried before unsucessfully, have only attended one meeting though and it was very very difficult for me. Need to try again. Thanks for any support.
Member: Judith . L
Location: Melb. Australia
Date: August 18, 2002
Time: 09:07 PM
Hi all, Judth here alcoholic addict. Hey, have been dying to say this. Who is HOPE and Where is she ??? She seems to have all the answers!!! Ha!! Ha!! Gosh I need to laugh and thanks to AA, today I can have a bit of a laugh. George, I too felt like you. Gosh, sometimes just to get through a week I trick myself and say o'kay Judith you can kill yourself next week but let's just do today and see how we go. Knowing that I can kill myself next week helps me to get through the day or the week. Luckily God and AA is looking after me and I am still alive. I have learnt that the pain does pass. I just need to share that and say - George you are loved more than you could ever know. We need you here George. If it was not for you I would not have posted. George give us AA's a go what have you got to loose??? You can kill yourself Next week o'kay !! Just for Today try AA. Let yourself be changed, let yourself find out who you really are. You are not the Alcohol or drugs. There is a very special and beautiful person underneath all that pain. Come out and play with us AA's........... Please. Love & Hope (mmmmmm....still waiting to meet this wonderful person..... but I think she has already found me!!!) Judith
Member: Ken T.
Location: rochester ny
Date: August 18, 2002
Time: 11:11 PM
Hi everyone I am an alcoholic and my problem is Ken. George, alcoholism is a thinking mans disease, right now I think you should stop thinking and call on someone else to do it for you. My first two months of sobriety I did none of my own thinking. When I did, I thought about how cool it would be to be able to "control" my drinking. Then I told someone else what I was thinking and they took over for me. I found myself with people that showed me UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, yes UNCONDITIONAL, this love can only be found at a place called an AA meeting. As much as I made drinking and drugging a part of my everyday life for 20 years, I now make AA a part of my every day life.Give it time, go to meetings close your mouth and open your ears, it can be so magical.Then before you know it it will be tomorrow, then start all over again.Surround yourself with people who have already been where you are right now, and look how happy they are that they are sober and most of all ALIVE!
Member: Adam H.
Location: Chicago, IL
Date: August 19, 2002
Time: 12:40 AM
Adam, alcoholic...you know what gave me hope when I first got to AA? Seeing people laugh. I mean, here were all these people talking about the awful, embarassing things that happened to them while they were drinking and everyone was laughing! I can't tell you what a bizzare thing it was to realize that the people in AA were laughing with each other, not at each other...and laughing over things that sure as hell weren't funny at the time. I heard that laughter and felt really confused at first, but as I kept coming back, I began to feel a little hope tha maybe there would be something in my past that I would laugh about...and would share that laughter with other people who know what it's like to be in the places drunks like me wind up in and do the things that drunks like me do. So newcomers, listen for that laughter...it's the sound of survival...the sound of freedom...the sound of hope filling people who considered themselves hopeless.
Member: John H
Location: England
Date: August 19, 2002
Time: 06:19 AM
From your English correspondent. Wow! George is a miracle!Glad to have you back George and thanks to all your supporters whowant you to get well. A great web site today. I'm now 11 days into sobriety and if I can't get to a ftf meeting every day I feel frustrated because they do me so much good. My wife thinks I've gone awol but when I asked her whether she preferred me to go out to AA 8 till 10pm or to the Pub 5.30 - 7.00 pm she agreed AA was better! The support we receive there is overwhelming and I've done 3 small 'shares' which prompted some lovely responses on a one to one basis after the meetings.All it needs is a bit of bravery the first time - and now I'm hooked! George - the fish are biting and people love you - what more do you need? Keep up the great work!
Member: Beth H.
Location: Canada
Date: August 19, 2002
Time: 07:02 AM
(((((George)))))You have no idea how worried I've been, and how much I've been thinking about you these last few days. Glad to see you back here.
Member: Madelaine
Location: Texas
Date: August 19, 2002
Time: 07:34 AM
Hello (((Room)))! George, thanks so much for letting us know that you're still with us. People care, they really do. Many of us have been where you were. Thanks to God I'm still here today, even if struggling to stay sober. If I had been successful then, there would be n o other options now. Keep coming back! Curtis, today is day 30 for me. Thanks for asking. Tell me, what is the difference in being dry and being sober? If we're sober, what's the difference in being in recovery and not being in recovery? I called my old sponsor and told her I hadn't been drinking for awhile. She asked if I was in recovery or just "not drinking". I always thought that any day I don't drink I'm in recovery. Am I wrong? I kind of feel like I've reached a milestone. Once before I had 30 days. Almost immediately I went out and started drinking again. Its taken a year to get back. I don't want to do that again. Please remember me in your prayers. I feel the next few days are crucial for me. Thanks to all who poist here. You've meen instrumental in getting me this far!
Member: George S
Location: Charlotte NC
Date: August 19, 2002
Time: 07:50 AM
Hi Ya'll, Thank You all for wecoming me back and its great to be back. You all have made life so much easier. A very special thanks to Judth, thats the best advice anyone has ever given me!!! You are a very special woman!!! I can not thank enough!!!! I want to fly out to Australia just to give you a hug and a kiss!!!!!!!!!
Member: anonymous alcoholic (DOS 12/12/90)
Location: 2689 Ridgecrest Drive
Date: August 19, 2002
Time: 09:16 AM
My hope is that I never become an alcoholic. Let me explain. My father was an alcoholic and he never did stop drinking. He died 21 years ago at the age of 69. I never wanted to follow in my father's footsteps. I joined AA 12/12/90 because alcohol was causing me problems and I wanted to stop. I joined AA because my mother had gotten sober in AA so I knew it worked. This may seem like splitting hairs to some, but I consider myself a 'problem drinker' rather than an alcoholic. The only difference to me is one of extent. I never became a daily drinker. I often controlled my drinking. I didn't get in trouble every time I drank. However, those few times that I did get in trouble I was usually drinking. So, nothing bad was going to happen to me if I stopped drinking. I have faithfully attended AA meetings for almost 12 years and I have learned so much about myself - I definitely have many many alcoholic traits and I am trying to use the 12-steps to turn my life and my will over to my newfound Higher Power. Life is very very good. That is the hope that I would offer to those in early sobriety today. Keep coming, it DOES get better.
Member: kirsten
Location: montreal
Date: August 19, 2002
Time: 09:26 AM
hi everyone, kirsten here - alcoholic. Just a quickie for Madelaine: I, too, can get some sobriety, but can't stick to it. It's that "I'm Cured!" thing that happens... Anyhow, someone said to me : How much time do you have to have to start having "good sobriety"? So we figured it's about 2 years... So it was put to me that I should try some "good sobriety" and reassess my life once I have some. This was a great idea for me. Stick with the ODAAT, but still give myself the goal of a 2 years. I was in a slippery situation this week and then I thought about those 2 years and my goal. I couldn't stand the idea of failing with only 2 weeks under my belt... Personally , the ODAAT is great but the "no end in sight" is discouraging and too big to comtemplate. Another thing is to keep a journal. Really, the honeymoon will end and then we forget the reasons why we quit (cunning, baffling, powerful, patient). God Bless you all... really you have been a great inspiration to me! 24 days ODAAT...k. ps. george, I am so glad you are out of the funk. god bless.
Member: Mich H.
Location: DAYTONA BCH FL
Date: August 19, 2002
Time: 11:07 AM
Alcoholic here, and I AM A Mich. HOOOOOOOWWWWDEEEEEEE Georgie boy, ITS A MIRICALE, see prayers do work! Once again I see some wonderful suggestions here for you, and me, and the rest of us alkie's. It is still up to us to DO something with them though. I HOPE we do. Adam, WOW, same here, the laughter gave me my first glimce of hope. The PROBLEM as I saw it was, I wanted what those bastards had, I just DIDN'T want to do what they had to do to get what they had. And then something happened, I became willing to try. Just to try, no big commitment, just to open that invisible door a crack. I found out that the more I cracked that door the more willing I have become. Once more I have come to realize that DUH it happens to many of us in the same way. Willingness, becomes openness, which enhances honesty, which reduces my fears, and before I knew it, I was well on my way to my fourth step. SIMPLE, not easy, but very SIMPLE. Laughter is a very big part of my life now, and damnit I like that. I came to AA first time in 88', for fear of loosing my wife. I returned to AA in 90' because of leagal fears. I went out in 91' cause "I knew better than the rest of you people" I returned in 02' George, for fear of loosing my LIFE. I feel safe now, I feel okay now. Not really up, not down, just okay. Right now okay feels really good, becuase I know what feeling really bad is like. I never want to return, and I no longer have to. Neither does anyone else here. Funny how just a little bit of hope, can make someones day, week, month, year, LIFE!!!!!! Judith, I'd like to know who she is too, and what was it that I did that she so gracefully came into my life! Hey gang, DON'T LET THE BASTARDS GRIND YA DOWN! Mich
Member: Charlie B.
Location: Alexandria, VA
Date: August 19, 2002
Time: 11:18 AM
Hello everyone. I'm Charlie and I'm an alcoholic. I have 7 days dry. About 3 years ago I stayed sober for 1 year. I choose to pick up the bottle again. I drank every day for about 6 months. I stayed sober for about 4 months again. I thought I could be a social drinker. I started attending meetings last Friday. I am POWERLESS over alcohol. I'm attempting to work the steps. I'll stay in touch and let you know how it's going.
Member: Craig L (Dogmanor@yahoo.com)
Location: Aloha, Oregon
Date: August 19, 2002
Time: 11:23 AM
Part of my insanity was to believe there was no hope. That my life would only be one continuous miserable hangover until I finally got lucky and died. It was from this crucible of fear and rage, my soul reached out and found help in spite of myself. Alcohol put me in a place where there was no more illusion of self-reliance. Today I generally live with a peace of mind, I could not have imagined before. All I can say is the steps, meetings and people in the AA program have shown me the hope of faith.
Member: Di
Location: NJ
Date: August 19, 2002
Time: 11:48 AM
Hello all - Di and alcoholic and drug addict. First let me say that "Hope" is such a great topic. Not long ago, 110 days to be exact, I had no hope. My life was about to be over - my choice. I really thought that it was the right decision. Thank God for some really good friends and God for sending them to me, I am still here. George I am glad that you are too. Hope is all we have. We must have hope or life is meaningless. It doesn't matter how much hope we have as long as we have it. From there everything else will come. Like the phrase - "Hope springs Eternal" something like that. It's true. God Bless and Grace and Peace to all.
Member: Melissa
Location: Canada
Date: August 19, 2002
Time: 11:55 AM
The difference between being 'dry' and being 'sober' is freedom. I quit drinking tons of times before I started recovery. Always felt like I was on a tightrope and one false move would tumble me down to the hell of drinking again. I couldn't be comfortable not drinking which was why I always started again, eventually, and the cycle would begin all over again. My liquor truly was 'but a symptom'. There were all sorts of reasons why I drank and I didn't know single one of them, because I didn't know myself. The steps give me freedom from drinking, because I am getting to know myself. Oh, lord, really, what do I know about all this? Only what happened to me and it still seems like such a miracle. I got so desperately trapped in my addictive loop and the misery and the hell it caused within me, that I was willing to do anything - anything at all - to get free. Desperation led to surrender and surrender led to willingness and willingness led to the steps and the steps have led to freedom. I am free of that addictive loop today and comfortable and joyous in my sobriety. Thank God for the program of AA. Love and encouragement to all the newcomers who post and read here.
Member: Carol H
Location: New York
Date: August 19, 2002
Time: 12:54 PM
Hello Kirsten and everyone, I am Carol an alcoholic. I completed 88 days sober and thought I had regained my power over alcohol. This is insane because I have liver disease. Last night I told my husband I had relapsed and together we said we would start again. During that 88 days I felt better than ever before and want to feel that way again. Is it harder the second time around?
Member: Rich P
Location: Colorado
Date: August 19, 2002
Time: 03:23 PM
8/19/2002 ((Carol)) for me it is easier the second time around because the slip taught me something. It taught me I had not really done a 3rd step and that I was dodging the fourth step. I also had not gotten a sponsor; I did not read the BB daily, etc. Basically I did not do the simple steps that everyone was telling me to do. Half efforts got me a couple months sobriety and then I drank. I knew I was powerless but I was still trying to run the show. When I really gave my will and my life over to God, the cravings went away. I started praying because I wanted God more in my life, not because I needed a favor. I sometimes wish I had slipped sooner, but that's crazy. We all drink as much as we need to, to get where we need to be, to finally work the program. I’m there. I never want to drink again…today. Peace
Member: Becki
Location: Texas
Date: August 19, 2002
Time: 05:39 PM
Hi, gang-I'm Becki-alcoholic. This is my first time here, looking for AA stuff and stumbled on it. This is way cool! I'm 4 days dry now, for about the millionth time. Last week I hit an all new low-even for me! I never want to go there again, so I was really glad the topic was on hope. I had 6 years sober, then went back out, and it's taken 14 years to get to this point. The posts have been wonderful, today's been one of the "white-knuckle" days, and I feel so much better than I did when I signed on-thanks to all of you!
Member: Joe P.
Location: Chicago
Date: August 19, 2002
Time: 05:41 PM
My name is Joe, and I can’t stay sober by myself. I’m sober today by the grace of God and the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. I found hope in AA. Here was a group of drunks who were not drinking one day at a time, and they told me that I did not have to drink either. Don’t pick up the first drink and go to meetings. I figured there must be something at work here in AA, and it worked for others, maybe for me, too. They told me, “keep coming back”. I didn’t have anywhere else to go except back to alcohol, so I came back to meetings. Read the Big Book, there is a chapter titled “There is a Solution”. I could not maintain a desire to not drink, and the BB told me that there is a solution to that problem. Read the stories in the BB and listen to the stories of other hopeless drunks. I heard how other hopeless drunks no longer had to drink. Hope. I wanted what they had, so I started doing the things they told me, the things they had been told to do. I heard how the lives of other hopeless drunks had gotten better by taking 12 Steps. They told me if I took these 12 Steps, my life would probably get better, and it did. In fact, my life continues to get better. I’ve seen others come in after I did follow suggestions in AA, and I’ve seen their lives get better. I came to AA miserably unhappy with my life – restless, irritable, and discontent. Today I have contented sobriety. Why would I want to desperately hang on, white knuckles, glum about not drinking, when I can live Happy, Joyous, and Free with AA? Thanks for sharing.
Member: Vicki G
Location: Colorado
Date: August 19, 2002
Time: 05:59 PM
I am new to AA, almost 4 months I really appreciate the support I get from so many different ways of AA service. It has been a tremendous help for me. I would like some input on how to have the courage to live life on life's terms when I don't even yet know who I am let alone what my life is to be.
Member: Doug M.
Location:
Date: August 20, 2002
Time: 01:20 AM
Hi - Doug, alcoholic. I just discovered this site and am so glad to live in a time that such things as "internet aa meetings" are possible. I've been sober for a year this week. A couple of small relapses, but I've managed to live day by day, one day at a time and I have great hope for the future. I always shied away from AA meetings in the past. I've known that I'm an alcoholic for years now; I was drunk for ten years straight and it didn't take long to figure that one out! I just started working at a substance abuse treatment center, and I have great hope that it will change my life. Being surrounded by people going through the same things that I have gone through has really opened my eyes and now I realize that I don't have to hide in my shell anymore, that I need people around me to support and be supported BY. I'm going to start going to AA meetings and, one day at a time, I'm going to stay sober. Without faith, there is no hope. Step 2 is SO important - finding the higher power is THE only way. Day by day, just having the faith that we can make it through the day without drinking, gives us hope for better things to come. Peace all.
Member: Madelaine
Location: Texas
Date: August 20, 2002
Time: 05:53 AM
Just wanted to say hi! to everyone here. Thanks for your advice and suggestions. Keep coming back!
Member: Chandra H.
Location: Leesville La.
Date: August 20, 2002
Time: 08:41 AM
Im Chandra an alcholic. I have just got out of a 28 day treatment program. I also spent 4 days in detox. I am 39 days into my sobriety. It feels good but It does feel wierd in the same sense. I have been home for a week tommorrow. I am a single mom and I thought it would be tough but its not. I learned alot about who I really am. It feels excellent to know the real me again. And its great to have other people to see the real me. I learned alot of simple sayings to get me through the day such as, "Just for today, Keep it simple, Let go Let God, Easy does it,just do it". Those phrases are my hope sayings as I deal with every day trials. MY mind set is totally different. I am more at ease in my mind. Just take a deep breathe and sit back and enjoy life on lifes terms. I wish every one a great day Just for today. Thank you.
Member: Bill P.
Location: Michigan
Date: August 20, 2002
Time: 04:12 PM
Hi Everybody, Bill P. here, alcoholic. 99 days sober today and feeling much better about life! Thanks to God and all of you. I can not do this on my own, God knows I tried to quit or control my drinking in so many different ways for so many years. It didn't work. With the help of AA and God, I'm free of the compulsion to drink, and now, am just beginning to learn what life can be without using. Thanks again for the help. God Bless you all.
Member: Leslie C.
Location: Federalway,Wa.
Date: August 20, 2002
Time: 05:01 PM
hi,im Leslie, alcoholic/addict. I have 2 days today. This is the first time i new there was anything aa related on the net. As with so many other things in my life, a fellow aa member from a meeting last night told me about it..I too have been trying to get sober, but relapsed for oh i don't even know how many times now. im 43 and staying with my daughter and family. we moved to a new area, farther away from my home group and i felt so isolated. i should have called intergroup for help to get to a meeting in my area, but change scared me and i did the only thing i knew how, and that was use. i was very ashamed and embarrassed last night at my home group to say what i has done, but you know what? that pride will only get me killed, it won't keep me sober. and like george, god bless you, i almost tool the other way out yesterday. then i ended up on my knees instead praying to god. I got to that meeting last night. HOPE, thank-you for the topic and your strength and hope. I'll keep coming back, one day at a time. Leslie C. Federalway, WA.
Member: Wendy B.
Location: Georgia
Date: August 20, 2002
Time: 09:50 PM
Hi-Wendy, ADDICT/alcoholic. Hope is a good topic for me today. As I read all of the entries here, I wonder why eveybody is so upbeat. I have 37 days sobriety...having gone through treatment for 3 weeks, too. I am grateful for my sobriety, but I feel hopeless, too. See, I just moved back to the area where my family all lives...having lived 10 years in the big city of Atlanta. I knew for my own sanity and such that I needed to re-evaluate my life. Tonight I had dinner with my mom, and well I realized how lonely I am. I go to meetings 5 days a week, but am not really building relationships like everyone keeps talking about. I have met a few people, but have not found a sponsor, and it seems like everyone is older than me or married, and I feel like an outsider. I feel angry and lonely, and sad, and wonder if I have made a mistake. Don't get me wrong...I don't want to drink or use, but I just feel lost, and could use a little HOPE. HELP!!
Member: Wendy B.
Location: GA
Date: August 20, 2002
Time: 09:56 PM
Wendy-Addict/Alcoholic again. TO George: I am so glad to hear that you are alive and well. I got a little freaked out when I read your first entry at the top of the page. I immediately scrolled down to find out how you were. I lost an acholic-addict uncle and grandmother to that "LEAD" you referred to, and even tried killing myself last year. Just remember...it is truewhat everyone has said. It is the last selfish thing you will ever do, but your loved ones have to live with it forever. Best wishes.
Member: Christa M.
Location: Silver Spring, MD
Date: August 20, 2002
Time: 11:18 PM
Hi Wendy. You sound like you are exactly where you should be and I promise that it will get better! It takes time to be feel like part of a new group of people, especially when you don't have alcohol to hide behind. You are doing great, going to meetings, making good decisions. Try sharing how you feel, honestly and openly. Ask for help, ask for friends. Many people in AA want to help but don't always know how. Volunteer for a service position or try different meetings or ask people about meetings where there are people your age. I came into AA with 1 friend left and she wasn't that nice! Years later I have a whole crowd of people who love me and who I love, more friends than I ever thought possible and its not like I'm that great or anything, I just found them all in the fellowship. But it took me a long time to feel comfortable. My other piece of advice is to pray, every time you feel bad, ask your HP for help. He's pretty cool about helping when you need it and he will put people in your life to guide you. And congratulations on your 37 days - way to go!!!! KEEP COMING BACK!!!
Member: Mike F
Location: MI
Date: August 21, 2002
Time: 12:37 AM
Greetings All, I'm Mike and I'm an Alcoholic, I just want to say, Thank You All for posting. I've been going to F2F AA meetings once a week for the past month and half. George I am glad that you are still with us today and I hope you stick around for a while. Wendy you haven't made a mistake, you are on the right track, it takes time and with enough time the pain will be gone. It is good to be able to talk to people across the World who share the same feelings. 'WE' are not alone, 'WE' are a unit that is striving to help each other understand the change 'WE' must go through, to return to sanity. 'WE' must have faith, day by day, one step at a time I wish you all the best. Peace & Harmony to All
Member: kirsten
Location: montreal
Date: August 21, 2002
Time: 02:13 AM
kirsten - alcoholic. I am so glad this day is over. It has been very difficult. Feeling very unbalanced and overwhemled. Went to a supper and was shaky. Thought about drinking alot. It was the first time I really felt as though I had to surrender. I did and I am still sober. This whole day has been a tremendous hurdle and an adjustment. I am very far from being better/safe/confident. Just had to tell you all coz you are a huge part of my recovery plan. You know what?I was scared. Yup, I think that's the feeling I am having. Oh thank you god for helping me through that one. 25 days ODAAT. God bless you all.
Member: Miranda C
Location: Vermont, USA
Date: August 21, 2002
Time: 06:10 AM
Hi Wendy, Give it time. I know that's hard but you've just moved, in effect to a new place, and it's going to take time to build relationships in AA. I'm just barely beginning to and I've been going to meetings for a year now. It also takes effort and that's even harder. I felt like an outsider for a long time - felt like AA was some kind of club where everybody knew the secret handshake but me!
Member: Beth H.
Location: Upper Canada
Date: August 21, 2002
Time: 07:15 AM
((Kirsten)) Way to go! You did better than I did at my family dinner Sunday :(. I've been thinking about what you said about ANGER. I find if I'm angry at someone else, I'm less likely to drink than if I'm angry at myself. As Mich sez: Don't let the bastards (les ordures!) grind you down! I myself made of mess of my weekend. Got drunk and blacked out on Friday, then found out on Monday morning when my boss was pounding on my back door that I had agreed to work for her. Didn't remember. So I told her what happened and why. She was so cool about it, but I'm not surprised because she's one of my best friends as well as my employer. So that's 4 people who know THE TRUTH about me. I had a warning dream last night. Before I went to bed I tried to make myself ready to listen and learn. What I dreamed was this: I was in a classroom, and we were about to go on a scavenger hunt. I was getting ready, with my papers and pens and everything I needed. The next time I looked up, it was time to get started, only I had missed the instructor telling us what items we needed to find. I hadn't been paying attention to that important part. I was so angry and frustrated, I started throwing things, ranting and raving about how unfair it all was. I heard my teacher saying "That's all right, you get this tantrum out of your system. When you're ready, I'll give you the list of what you need to find." My fear was that I would fail the course. She assured me that there was no time limit, and I wasn't going to fail. So I feel reassured. I'm in good hands today. Have a great day ((everyone))!
Member: Madelaine
Location: Texas
Date: August 21, 2002
Time: 08:31 AM
I haven't done too well the last couple of days...very depressed. I've been trying to get to a ftf meeting but can't motivate myself enough to go, or to even get out of the house for that matter. I've thought of calling my old sponsor and can't even do that. I'm really a mess right now but still dry...32days and counting. I'm glad to see all the newcomers here although I can't offer any advice except to keep coming back. I have and I believe it has helped to keep me from taking that first drink. I just hope that things start improving and getting easier, and that I start feeling better. Love to all...Madelaine
Member: SharonB.
Location: Michigan
Date: August 21, 2002
Time: 09:17 AM
Hi Everyone, I'm Sharon and I'M an alcoholic. God it feels good to read your stories. I can relate. Today, I knelt down and prayed for sobriety and for "thy will (not mine) be done." I too, am back in recovery after trying to do this myself. I need help from the program. I have been seeing life in a new way since my return. I'm going to keep coming back.
Member: Toni C
Location: Newark, NJ
Date: August 21, 2002
Time: 09:23 AM
Can I stay sober without going to meeting in person? I feel more at ease on line than in front of people. I read George's comments about ending it all. Here's my story: I have a beautiful home and a wonderful husband but I;ve been keeping myself medicated with booze for the past 4 months. I woant out but have never thought of dying I want to live life to the fullest. Can't do that with booze.
Member: John H
Location: UK
Date: August 21, 2002
Time: 09:26 AM
From your English correspondent. Went to a ftf meeting last night and the atmosphere was grim as a good friend of the group (not of me 'cos I'm new) was there and had had a drink ('only a half bottle of Vodka'). She was the worse for wear and shared with us - she'd bought a house that day and was thrilled so had a little drink to celebrate! She was so full of guilt and remorse she was suicidal and she got loads of shares back, so much that I nearly cried too.If I ever needed convincing and reminding what booze can do to you that was it. I hope she pulls through-it won't be for lack of love and support if she doesn't but it makes you glad and grateful to be part of this miraculous organisation.
Member: Wendy B.
Location: GA
Date: August 21, 2002
Time: 09:57 AM
Good morning. Wendy here-Addict/Alcoholic. Just wanted to say thanks to everyone for their feedback. It feels good to know you understand me and my "woes". I guess I could learn to have a little patience. I didn't get here overnight. Have a good day to all.
Member: Bill P.
Location: Michigan
Date: August 21, 2002
Time: 11:13 AM
Bill P. here, alcoholic. George, I'm delighted to hear you are alright! Keep coming back. I thought relapse stories were scary as hell until I read your note the other day. Speaking of hope, AA has given me the strength to be honest with myself and face all that life has to offer, the good as well as the bad. Life keeps coming at us even after we stop using, but now I have hope, thanks to God and this fellowship we call AA. Stick with it and know that we love you.
Member: Christa W.
Location: Yuba City
Date: August 21, 2002
Time: 12:49 PM
Christa here, alcoholic,3 days sober now and everything feels alright. This is the longest stretch in the past few months. I read the posts daily for insriration and hope!!! Glad to hear that George S. is alright, you made this alcoholic wake up a bit. Thank You
Member: Leslie C.
Location: Federalway, WA.
Date: August 21, 2002
Time: 02:51 PM
Leslie, Alcoholic/Addict, 4 days sober today. Still feeling nausiated, shakey and very scared, but also very much alive and for that I can be greatful. Im also very greatful for finding this meeting, and all of you. Only through the orginazation of AA does it seem that I feel that people really care and understand me. Even on the web.. Thank-You.. have a great day. Everyone keep comming back, we can do this with our HP and each other. I know I truley need all of you.
Member: George S
Location: Charlotte NC
Date: August 21, 2002
Time: 07:13 PM
Hi ya'll!! George and an alcoholic, been going to meetings. Going to a speaker meeting tonite. I thank you all for your kind words, kind thoughts and prayers. I'am forever greatfull!!! I'll pray for you all!!! Keep the faith!!!!
Member: George S
Location: Charlotte NC
Date: August 21, 2002
Time: 07:14 PM
Hi ya'll!! George and an alcoholic, been going to meetings. Going to a speaker meeting tonite. I thank you all for your kind words, kind thoughts and prayers. I'am forever greatfull!!! I'll pray for you all!!! Keep the faith!!!!
Member: Wendy B.
Location: GA
Date: August 21, 2002
Time: 09:06 PM
Wendy here..ADDICT/ALCOHOLIC. Christa, congrats on 3 days, ans Leslie congrats on 4 days. You may be a little shakey noe, but it gets better....promise. Keep your heads up. The good days ahead will far out-way the bad...I've got 38 days, and counting, so I'm still fresh, too. I'll pray for ya both and all of you!
Member:
Location:
Date: August 22, 2002
Time: 12:04 AM
Testing - 2,2,3 Testing - 3,4,5 The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog.
Member: Tester
Location: Testing
Date: August 22, 2002
Time: 12:33 AM
Testing 1 2 3 4 Testing 1 1 2 3 8 The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog.
Member: Robert
Location: TN
Date: August 22, 2002
Time: 01:31 AM
The dog isn't lazy,he is passed out. Greetings cyber family.Robert The Alcoholic here.My wife and I were cleaning out our apartment in preparation for a yard sale yesterday and I had what just might pass for a profound thought.As I was going through many items from my hard drinking past,I started thinking about the "good old days"when I used to not have to think about things like character defects and personal responsibilities.I was really viewing my drinking years with great fondness when it hit me.We color the past with the knowledge of today.It looks so beautiful because it is safe.We already know how it is going to turn out.We don't remember how scary and uncertain it was because we see it with the emotions of today.It's like a horror movie you are seeing for the second time.You already know how it is going to turn out so you are not scared by watching it.So all memories of emotion and good feeling from our drinking are distorted by the fact that we know that we survive.I know I sometimes have those "if only"thoughts.If you do too,I hope this helps.
Member: Madelaine
Location: Texas
Date: August 22, 2002
Time: 07:34 AM
Congratulaations to Christa and Leslie. I guess you're on days 4 and 5 now. ODAAT! Hang in there. Keep coming back.
Member: The crazy world of Avril G
Location: Belgium via Barnsley UK
Date: August 22, 2002
Time: 09:53 AM
{{{{{{{{{{{ROOM HUGS}}}}}}}}}} Hi all, good to read all the hope here today. {{{{GEORGE}}}} Thank YOU for reminding ME of how bad it REALLY was for me 19 years ago. It is then that I first came to AA. At the time, I believed that there should be a sign above the door of AA rooms - 'Abandon all hope ye who enter here' I 'dropped in' now and then, usually when the money had run out, my sick mind believing I may be able to tap a few quid off someone. After 7 more years of drinking (which I believed was more 'controlled' than before I found AA) I decided my only hope was to stick around and give sobriety my best shot. I am grateful today that I lived in UK where the gun laws are such that it is illegal to keep one 'just in case' though I doubt I would ever have had the guts to put one to my head. I attempted suicide on 3 occasions, the last one had me in ICU for a week, and having to have treatment to heal my liver for the following 6 months after discharge from hospital. When these attempts failed, I did consider driving my car off a cliff, or into a brick wall or something - only thing which stopped me was the thought that maybe I would fail at this, end up paralysed and be unable to get out to buy booze!!! A,dyet, I STILL did not believe that step two was applicable to ME when I first started out on the programme. This July I celebrated 12 years of sobritety. Miracles DO happen in AA, {{{GEORGE}}} YOU have just proved that, you have gone from being a no-hoper, who saw suicide as his only hope to a recovering member of AA. WE ARE ALL MIRACLES I am one very grateful alcoholic today. Thanx to {{{{ALL}}}} for being here for me. ~~*SOBRIETY ROCKS*~~ goodallavril2000@yahoo.co.uk
Member: christine W
Location: Texas
Date: August 22, 2002
Time: 10:19 AM
Hi Christine addicted to alcohol Day 1 I hope I can do this and get though today Have been drinking badly since mom died 1 month ago and need help. just writing this is bringing me to tears, as i've never admitted to having a problem. hope to write again soon desperately hoping
Member: Christa W.
Location: Yuba City CA
Date: August 22, 2002
Time: 11:27 AM
Christa W. here- alcoholic. Thanks to Wendy B. and Madelaine for your prayers and encouragement. Today is day 4 for me and I am actually feeling good this time around. My last detox was in the hospital and it was hellish. I kept drinking this time around alot longer than I wanted to because of fear of detoxing on my own, but it wasn't bad at all. The physical discompfort is always gone in a few days, it is the mental aspect that gets me every time. That is where I have to be extremely careful. My problem is a fear of feeling strong emotions like anger etc. To Christine W. 1 day is a great start. I to started drinking very heavily when my mom passed 5 years ago. I am praying for you and hope that you will keep coming back. Leslie C. your a whole day ahead of me, congrats. Christa
Member: AnneC
Location: Canada
Date: August 22, 2002
Time: 04:27 PM
Hi: I have just read your comments for the first time, I didn't know you existed and I'm glad I found you. I have been sober for two days and God willing I will be able to keep it up. I have a beautiful new grandson and I wouldn't want him to be ashamed of his Grandma. I would be grateful for any support you can give me.
Member: Leslie C.
Location: Federalway, Wa.
Date: August 22, 2002
Time: 05:00 PM
Hi,Leslie C. Alcoholic/Addict,here and 5 days sober today. Thank-You all for you prayers and kind words. Im terrible at not remembering names, so next time im going to write you all down. So I will say congrats!! to all of my new found friends, we made it another day..I was at a first step meeting last night, and an old timer called on me to share. It was the first time i had shared my total week of relapse sence it happened, and it felt really great not to carry that with me anymore. But what struck me kinda funny and not so funny at the same time was somebody shared their idea of what relapse ment to them. It was stated that it was not a mere relapse, but a bungy jump into hell with way too long of cord. This is how my last use was exactly. Funny how some things just jump right up and slap ya in the face. talk to everyone tomorrow. God Bless, and thanks for my sobriety.
Member: Jeff W.
Location: Illinois
Date: August 22, 2002
Time: 05:20 PM
I'm Jeff and I'm an alcoholic. A little over seven days sober adn so grateful I had on e more in me. It doesn't get any better out there! I was in the program previously with a little over three years sobriety... that was almost seven or eight years ago. I was a functioning alcoholic (?), maintaining a management position while consuming a fifth or more per day... shakes, high blood pressure, need I go on.... spritually and morally bankrupt... today, I'm sober and grateful (working on it, at least) and my hope is that my continued recovery is as progressive as my disease is. And LOT's of meetings. Thanks
Member: Shannon
Location: Ecuador
Date: August 22, 2002
Time: 06:19 PM
Hi there. I'm Shannon--alcoholic, too. This is my first day of sobriety, and I just have to make some sort of a commitment. Nothing good ever comes of my drinking. I've tried many times--unsuccessfully--to stay sober, but I feel like I'm finally ready to make some dramatic changes. I'm driving my family and friends crazy, and have already lost one marriage because of this disease. Here's to staying sober today, and I'll return tomorrow. I'm glad that there are online meetings. I live in South America, and I think there are meetings in my city, so I'll make that my other goal today: to find them. Chao, and thanks for being here.
Member: AZbill
Location: Sierra Vista, Arizona
Date: August 22, 2002
Time: 11:50 PM
Twenty one years ago yesterday, I put down my last drink. I surely stood at the turning point. I could not drink another drop. I did not know how to not drink. I did not believe AA would work for me. I had no where to go. A week later someone led me to an AA meeting. It was the last house on the last block in the last town. It worked. Today I just returned from a months visit with my former wife, my hubby in law, six daughters, and many, many friends in and out of the program. A family I trashed in 1973 because they were in the way of my drinking. I even got to walk one of my daughters down the aisle side by side with my hubby in law. That is merely one of the many gifts I have been given. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary program. Bill az-bill@mindspring.com
Member: AZbill
Location:
Date: August 22, 2002
Time: 11:53 PM
Correction: Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem..
Member: Doug M.
Location:
Date: August 23, 2002
Time: 02:01 AM
Doug, alcoholic. Shannon, I pray that everything is going well for you. I can remember my first day sober (the last time) like it was yesterday! I felt sad, panicked, angry, deprived, and the like. Remember to take it easy! You can only do it one day at a time, but that first one or two days of hell gives way to much better days, trust me. Always remember that you're not alone.
Member: annie p
Location: United Kingdom
Date: August 23, 2002
Time: 02:58 AM
Good morning all! Just wanted to say "Hello" to all you alkies around the world. I got HOPE the first time I went to an AA meeting in Nottingham, England. I don't remember what anyone said in that meeting but I could feel the serenity and sobriety and wanted what they had. A big Scotsman in the smoke break told me in no uncertain terms .."You'll keep coming back"..and I have been ever since. Just KCB - Keep Coming Back - It works if you work it!!
Member: annie p
Location: United Kingdom
Date: August 23, 2002
Time: 02:58 AM
Good morning all! Just wanted to say "Hello" to all you alkies around the world. I got HOPE the first time I went to an AA meeting in Nottingham, England. I don't remember what anyone said in that meeting but I could feel the serenity and sobriety and wanted what they had. A big Scotsman in the smoke break told me in no uncertain terms .."You'll keep coming back"..and I have been ever since. Just KCB - Keep Coming Back - It works if you work it!!
Member: JC
Location: San Jose
Date: August 23, 2002
Time: 03:58 AM
JC Alcoholic...working on day 3. I've been to A.A. meetings over the past 10 or so years, but always on the fringe, never attending regularly, hence I'm back working on day 3. Toni C, I know how you feel. HOPE fills my heart after discovering this site. I wonder, will this help fill the void between meetings? I'm hopeful it will.
Member: Curis L
Location: Goliad, Texas
Date: August 23, 2002
Time: 06:36 AM
((Madeline)) Please email me at curtis093040@selectrec.net
Member: tech
Location:
Date: August 23, 2002
Time: 06:48 AM
testing paragraph <p> testing
Member: Madelaine
Location: Texas
Date: August 23, 2002
Time: 07:15 AM
Hello to all! ((Christine W)), ((Christa)), ((Leslie C)), ((Anne C)), ((Shannon)), ((Jeff W)), ((JC)), (((Azbill--21 yrs. awesome!!))). Welcome to all the newcomers! I'm so happy to see you here! This meeting offers support to those of us just starting out on a new path of sobriety, whether it's your first attempt or your 100th. It has been a lifesaver for me to be able to come online and share with other alcoholics, to hear of their struggles and successes, and to read their advice. I hope you will find this meeting place as supportive as I have. Hang in there and Keep Coming Back! Anne C--I'm a grandmother, too, but remember you have to do it for yourself first. ODAAT! You can do it! Love to all...Madelaine
Member: Madelaine
Location: Texas
Date: August 23, 2002
Time: 07:21 AM
Hello to all! ((Christine W)), ((Christa)), ((Leslie C)), ((Anne C)), ((Shannon)), ((Jeff W)), ((JC)), (((Azbill--21 yrs. awesome!!))). Welcome to all the newcomers! I'm so happy to see you here! This meeting offers support to those of us just starting out on a new path of sobriety, whether it's your first attempt or your 100th. It has been a lifesaver for me to be able to come online and share with other alcoholics, to hear of their struggles and successes, and to read their advice. I hope you will find this meeting place as supportive as I have. Hang in there and Keep Coming Back! Anne C--I'm a grandmother, too, but remember you have to do it for yourself first. ODAAT! You can do it! Love to all...Madelaine
Member: Brenda
Location: NE
Date: August 23, 2002
Time: 07:30 AM
Brenda here, alcoholic. Christine, hang in there. You are grieving terribly right now. Alcohol is not the friend that you need. Talk to some close friends or relatives about your mother's passing. Talk to your mother...let her know how much you miss her and make a decision to get sober so that you can enjoy happy and fulfilling memories of her instead of sad, lonely ones. You owe that to yourself and to her. I will be praying for you. To all you others out there...what does ODAAT mean?
Member: Sheila K
Location: NH
Date: August 23, 2002
Time: 08:18 AM
Hi, I'm Sheila K., an alcoholic. (Brenda, I think ODAAT means One Day at a Time) This is my fourth day sober. The fourth day is when I usually start getting the cravings and waffling on my commitment to stay sober. Really want to make it this time. Appreciate this site; thanks for being here
Member: anonymous alcoholic (DOS 12/12/90)
Location: 2689 Ridgecrest Drive
Date: August 23, 2002
Time: 08:37 AM
Sheila, try to get to a meeting today if you can, okay?
Member: Beth H.
Location: Ontario, Canada
Date: August 23, 2002
Time: 09:15 AM
Morning. Wish I didn't have a hangover. I'm really struggling, and I know that staying sober is my thing, but it would be just a bit easier if my husband didn't have beer in the fridge always. Yesterday was pouring rain, we were trapped inside with nothing to do...I know, I know - excuses. I made the decision to pick up that bottle. But would it be unfair if i asked him to please help me out and keep alcohol out of the house?? At least until I can get a few weeks under my belt. He's one of those functional alcoholics, and I think he might balk at the suggestion. Oh well, what have I got to lose, right?
Member: AnneC
Location: Canada
Date: August 23, 2002
Time: 09:33 AM
Hi Madelaine from Texas and everyone out there. Thanks so very much for responding, it's nice to know some one is listening and cares. I am working on my third day, so far, so good. What I don't understand is how could I drink sometimes and not get drunk and yet others??? I would also like to know if anyone out there is manic? Thanks again this is a wonderful support for me. I am too ashamed to go to AA meetings. How do you overcome that or can I get the help I need by this method?? God bless everyone and thanks a million. This will be (I hope) the start of a new life for me.
Member: Christa W.
Location: Yuba City CA
Date: August 23, 2002
Time: 11:37 AM
Christa here, alcoholic, this is day 5 for me. To everyone out there thank you so much for the support that you are giving all of us newcomers. Leslie c. Jeff W. Shannon. Wendy B. Christine W. Becki. Sheila, Madalaine. Anne C. I have been diagnosed as a major depressive and so I can really understand how the mind can destroy. Congrats on 3 days and just hang in there and keep coming back for the love and support here. Beth I don't think that it is wrong to ask your husband to put the beer away for awhile. Mine did and it helps me tremendously. I was not able to quit while watching him drink. I got 4 months a while back and thought I was compfortable with it but it did not take long for me to follow him to the couch with a beer, so no harm in asking him is there. I pray that when I get to the point of complacency and begin to think about reaching for that drink, that my HP will refresh my memory of how sick it has made me, how humiliating the disease can be and that he will remove my desire to drink. I don't want to go back to that place ever again. Where is CookiekK? Just for today don't drink!! Christa
Member: BG
Location:
Date: August 23, 2002
Time: 02:12 PM
I'm on my 3rd day after a two year binge, which was preceded by 17 years sobriety. Right now, all the platitudes and cute sayings and listening to other alkies isn't helping a whole lot. What HAS helped me get here, is what I read somewhere on this list, that took me back to the very bottom line absolutely basic concept of the program. No Matter What, Don't Drink. NO MATTER WHAT! I don't want to hear anything else right now. I'm living in NO MATTER WHAT, and every urge I get, every feeling, every excusion, rationalization, or justification, I come back to NO MATTER WHAT! I know that so long as I stay that path, all else will follow in due time.
Member: sonia
Location: uk
Date: August 23, 2002
Time: 02:50 PM
Hello World It took me a long time to understand and beleive that i could live without alcohol, I truly thought alcohol was how you rewarded yourself, how everyone rewarded themselves, i didnt see a problem with the fact that alcohol was the goal, i thought the weekend and alcohol was everyones goal. That thinking was around long before I even knew teh word alcoholic. It was always that way. To be grown up you drank, to celebrate everyone drank, to comiserate everyone drank. Drinking was normal for everyone so i thought. and not drinking was ... well i mean ... if you didnt drink... there was something wrong with you wasnt there. Take away drink and you take away my whole life. Took an awefull lot to convince me otherwise, and i did need convincing. Just over two years sober, and i dont think about a drink, and i feel normal, I feel damned great. That is impossible, it is a miracle.
Member: AnneC
Location: Canada
Date: August 23, 2002
Time: 04:04 PM
Hi Madelaine from Texas and everyone out there. Thanks so very much for responding, it's nice to know some one is listening and cares. I am working on my third day, so far, so good. What I don't understand is how could I drink sometimes and not get drunk and yet others??? I would also like to know if anyone out there is manic? Thanks again this is a wonderful support for me. I am too ashamed to go to AA meetings. How do you overcome that or can I get the help I need by this method?? God bless everyone and thanks a million. This will be (I hope) the start of a new life for me.
Member: Gage
Location: LA
Date: August 23, 2002
Time: 04:07 PM
I'm Gage. I am an alcoholic. Love to all. The book, Alcoholics Anonymous, is filled with messages of hope for all of us. One very important message of hope, I believe is the first line of Chapter 5: "Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path." If I can make it without a drink today, then anyone here can as well. That's a fact. Thanks to you all.
Member: Daniel
Location: MI
Date: August 23, 2002
Time: 05:14 PM
I'm Daniel & I'm an alcoholic. I never thought I would say that, since I only drink beer & never get drunk due to a high tolerance. Yet I drink every day. I got saved a year & a half ago. Jesus tramsformed so many areas of my life. I was able to quit a fifteen year marijuana addiction with almost no problem. Now God is calling me to quit drinking. Today is my first day of sobriety. Blessings...
Member: Anne M
Location: NY
Date: August 23, 2002
Time: 07:56 PM
Hi, my name is Anne & I'm an alcoholic. I have 97 days sober. Oh my goodness there are so many new people here, I just can't remember what everyone has written. This is such a wonderful site. To all of you in your first few days, please hang in there and keep coming back. ((Anne C)) Try to overcome your fear of going to a meeting -- I would bet you that whatever you are ashamed of has been experienced tenfold by the people at the meeting you could go to. Remember, meetings are rooms full of alcoholics!! Think about it -- and imagine what some of them have done in their time. Noone is going to be appalled by anything you say. You will be welcomed warmly. ((Beth H)) If your husband is willing to keep beer out of the house, certainly ask! If he isn't willing, it can still be done. Many posters here live with active alkies -- if you can weed your way thru the archives of this Early Sobriety site, there was a week-long discussion on that issue. ((Christine W)) Altho I was an alkie for years before my mom died, her death really pushed me over the edge and my downward spiral began. Perhaps you can try to envision how your mother would feel if she could look down and see you drinking over her death; is that how she would want you to handle it? I learned once I got sober that, altho I don't have my mom here any more, she is ALWAYS with me; she is a part of me. I draw upon her strength every day. ((George)) Hope you're okay now. ((Everyone)) else, cause I can't remember everything -- keep coming back, you can do it. Anne
Member: ScottJ
Location: So Cal
Date: August 23, 2002
Time: 10:13 PM
Hi Just went to my first meeting yesterday OOph. It was emotional.But I felt like this is where I need to be in order to stay sober I've tried everything else.
Member: AnneC
Location: Canada
Date: August 23, 2002
Time: 11:06 PM
Hi Madelaine from Texas and everyone out there. Thanks so very much for responding, it's nice to know some one is listening and cares. I am working on my third day, so far, so good. What I don't understand is how could I drink sometimes and not get drunk and yet others??? I would also like to know if anyone out there is manic? Thanks again this is a wonderful support for me. I am too ashamed to go to AA meetings. How do you overcome that or can I get the help I need by this method?? God bless everyone and thanks a million. This will be (I hope) the start of a new life for me.
Member: JC
Location: San Jose
Date: August 24, 2002
Time: 01:20 AM
JC Alcoholic again, thanks for the support Madelaine and all. I don't normally cry, but was, and still am teary eyed. My sincere best wishes for all in the same boat. Another 2 hours and tomorrow will be the next challenge (I think I rubbed a hole in my 24 hour chip :). I had a discouraging conversation today. A relative told me that online meetings were not the "real" answer. I got frustrated, a bit angered. How could anyone doubt this Godsend? It is working for me right now as I am not physically able to get to a "real" meeting. Take a deep breath and let it pass over me...feeling better now. Does anyone have an opinion? Am I just deluding myself? Does this fall into the category of "DON'T LET THEM GRIND YA DOWN!"? Maybe BG is right, maybe I should live in "NO MATTER WHAT!". I still have Hope. PS. George S; best, positive wishes
Member: Madelaine
Location: So. Texas
Date: August 24, 2002
Time: 01:22 AM
(((((Room)))))! I am amazed by all the new people who are posting! Welcome!! I have 34 days sober and I will be going to a F2F meeting tomorrow with my old sponsor who says she is still my sponsor, that she never gave up on me, and that she was just waiting for me to come back! This site has been instrumental in keeping me sober. Some of the long-timers are very supportive. Some aren't. Regardless, attending these on-line meetings does help, greatly. To all of the newcomers--Keep coming back. Go to F2F meetings if you are able, but keep coming back!
Member: Gage
Location: LA
Date: August 24, 2002
Time: 02:24 AM
JC in San Jose, hi, this is Gage. I'm an alcoholic. I have an opinion. To me, you just said one of the most important things there is in the world for people like us: You said you've found some hope. My opinion, then, is that it doesn't matter whether you got that hope here or on the back of a cereal box -- you got it, and it's good. I don't know whether you have any thoughts at all about where hope really comes from. It's shared among us here and in f2f meetings, or at least we try to share it with one another. My own feeling is that hope is something that comes from God. I don't know if you have any feelings about that and I don't know if it even matters whether you do at this point. But I'll tell you, I believe you are going to make it through this night sober rubbing that chip and thinking about those people who gave it to you. If you do, will you do one thing? Will you please come back here and share that with the next suffering alcoholic who posts on this board? If you will, then, I believe that hope will double and you'll make it another twenty-four hours. That hope is going to lead you somewhere, darling, if you'll follow it. Now, take a look at the first step. Can you accept it about yourself? If you can, then, maybe the hope you are feeling is your coming to believe in a power that is greater than your own. If you don't trust yourself in that, it's okay. At least try to believe that I and some of these other folks believe in it. I believe that power is as close to you as your own heartbeat right this minute. So, you calm down now. Stop worrying about the family -- God can take care of that too. You just let him. If you can sleep, now, that will be a good idea. Peace.
Member: Leslie C.
Location: Federalway Wa
Date: August 24, 2002
Time: 04:42 AM
Hi, Leslie C., Alcoholic/Addict here with 6 days today...thanks for my sobriety.GodBless.
Member: David W
Location: NJ
Date: August 24, 2002
Time: 08:12 AM
David here, an alcoholic. This site is so awesome - so many people looking for help with their alcohol problem and so many people offering kind support for one another. My last days of drinking and first days getting sober weren't easy, but ... I have to say, when I got to my first AA meeting and saw that so many people had been able to stop drinking by following the steps of AA, that their lives were improving in ways they never dreamed, some how I was lucky enough to believe the same could happen for me. Guess what, it did, it has been over 19 yrs for me know with out drinking or drugs. I was given hope, and you should have hope too, AA works!!! In the past few weeks, I feel like I have been glued to my computer checking the posts on this site, it is so helpful for me to see the success stories we are having by not drinking for one day. We are the fortunate ones who have been exposed to AA - so many alcoholics in the world never find out that there is a solution to their alcoholic condition -- in simple terms the solution is don't drink "no matter what" for 24hrs -- yeah, yeah I know we must follow the steps, I love those too.... for me the first thing I had to do was put some hours together without picking up that 1st drink. To do that, I had to truely believe that I am powerless over alcohol, that I'm an alcoholic and like the Big Book says pg 30 "the delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed. We alcholics are men and woman who have lost the ability to control our drinking." From that starting point, the point where I saw AA working for others, and was told it would work for me, I began a new pattern of not drinking and going to a meeting and not drinking and going to another meeting and slowly my desire to drink went away. That pattern was different than when I tried on my own to say I won't drink anymore and sooner or latter (usually sooner) a situation would come up where some how, even though I promised myself that I wouldn't drink, I would have that first drink and be off to the races again. Well enough from me-- together we can stay sober for 1 day, I believe it!! So let's do it and please keep posting at this site, I think I would be lost without seeing your posts each day.
Member: Beth H.
Location: Turtle Island
Date: August 24, 2002
Time: 11:02 AM
Hi all! Trying not to count the hours (minutes?), but I haven't had a drink since Thursday. I was counting "sober" days, but I wasn't really sober, I was just white-knuckle abstaining. Until I get to those meetings, find a sponsor, start actively working the steps, I won't be sober. So right this minute, I'm not drinking. I thought about it last night - made it through Friday's family gathering by guzzling V8, and persuaded my husband to go home at 8 p.m. instead of the usual 10:30. Got the baby to bed, played my new RPG (yes I am a total nerd :b), then watched DH drink himself into a stupor on the sofa. At one point I thought "I could start drinking now - no one else is awake, no one will know...". But I would know. And why would I want to screw it all up again?? So, another sober morning to enjoy. Love to you all. Don't know where I'd be without this site to visit. It's such a comfort and an inspiration to me. THANK-YOU!!!
Member: JC
Location: San Jose
Date: August 24, 2002
Time: 11:24 AM
Thanks Gage. I'm going to be fine. It will probably be about a month before my next crisis, if personal history is a good measure. I fully intend to go to F2F, but this seems to be the right place to be right now. I've fallen for the "oh, I'm cured" routine too many times. I want to go forward and not backwards. In the meantime, I'll keep comming back, both here and F2F. Leslie C., hang in there. To All, many thanks
Member: AnneC
Location: Canada
Date: August 24, 2002
Time: 01:57 PM
Hi everyone: I agree 100% with David W of NJ, thanks for the encouragement and to everyone else out there who has promoted AA. I am on my 4th day now and as it is the weekend it will be difficult. I have booze in the house and I'm wondering if it would be better to pour it down the sink, or keep it as a reminder. What has been everyone's experience with this situation? Madelaine in Texas thanks again for your response, I hope things are going well for you now. Melissa, my fellow Canadian I can definitely relate to what you are saying and hope I can get the courage to attend an AA mtg and find out what the "MAGIC" is all about. To JC in San Jose I would have been so alone without the support, love and encouragement of this Cyber Site and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. As I said before I am too scared and ashamed to go to an AA mtg at the moment but with the comments from this WONDERFUL site I hope I can conquer this fear and take this VERY VERY IMPORTANT STEP!! To David W in NJ congratulations on 19yrs and thanks for your wonderful comments. To everyone else out there, God Bless. Thanks for everything, you are in my prayers.
Member: Chris H.
Location: Fla.
Date: August 24, 2002
Time: 04:53 PM
I'm Chris I'm an alcoholic/addict..Hope is a great topic for me today. I have certainly had my days of no hope lately, but my Higher Power( who I call God) has given me hope. THe other day I was feeling VERY low and prayed that He would give me some hope. Well, he did and I am so greatful. I won't go into the details, but I will say that if we can just hang on when the going gets rough and trust that " this too will pass" ---thing do get better. One of the things in the program that had given me hope and relief is the 4th and 5th steps. This alcoholic feels so much shame and remorse over my past---( my past can be as recent as yesterday) that I beat myself up...and if that doesn't lead to using...it sure leads to depression. I ,too, have contemplated leaving this world, because I felt no hope for a brighter future. But the 4th and 5th steps have relieved much of the pain I have felt. To live in the present and not in the past or the future is very hard, but very helpful. One of the things I have learned is the some days all we can do is hang on and not drink. I am so greatful for these things that A.A> has taught me.
Member: James D
Location: NC
Date: August 24, 2002
Time: 05:32 PM
POUR IT IN THE SINK. YOU ARE ASKING FOR TROUBLE. JAMES D HERE. ON MY 14TH DAY. DID AA BEFORE BUT VOLUNTARILY WENT BACK TO THE ALCOHOL AFTER 4-5 MONTHS EACH TIME. NOW I KNOW IT'S NOT FOR ME ANY LONGER. AM GETTING FTF MEETINGS AND RE-READING THE BIG BOOK. IF YOU DON'T HAVE ONE, GET ONE. IT'S THE TEXTBOOK FOR OUR NEW LIFESTYLE. GOD BLESS
Member: Margie
Location: Long Island, NY
Date: August 24, 2002
Time: 06:13 PM
Hi ((all)), I am two days away from my second time around of getting one year. So I better post under the newcomers title while I can (even though I have been through this before.) Hope is one of the greatest things AA has provided for me besides my wonderful recovery friends and my relationship with HP. I have hope even when things go bad or not my way. After going through the steps the first time, I discovered I had nothing but fear. Fear that demolished myself and my relationships, which eventually led me to self induced insanity by way of the drink and drug. I have a softer way today. I do my 10th step (steps 4-9) as best I can each day, well maybe every other day, and I realize I have nothing to fear except myself; my old attitude and thinking. AA has given me the courage to be hopeful, to rise above my old ways and to give hope to others. My subjective negative thoughts are replaced by objective positive ones. I can turn things around if I choose to. If there are any newcomers out there putting off their 4th and 5th steps, I beg you to please give it a try. Hope through other's shares is a way to get by, but the hope you will received by doing your steps is indispensible. It will carry you through even when all else fails! That is what the promises are in the Big Book. May God hold you in his/her loving hand and guide you through your journey of love and light. Best wishes to all, Margie
Member: billc
Location: pa
Date: August 24, 2002
Time: 08:43 PM
iam 34 years old and have been drinking since around the age of 16. my wife left me a year ago because of it. she has been home for about 1 month and i have been drunk twice and have drank every day of it but the last 5 days.she is leaving me again she says i will never quit. is there any hope for me?
Member: Christa W.
Location: Yuba City Ca
Date: August 24, 2002
Time: 08:56 PM
I agree with James D. Pour it down the sink, it is just too much temptation sitting on a shelf. Been there before. Christa
Member: John P.
Location: Tampa Bay
Date: August 24, 2002
Time: 11:24 PM
Hi John here... I am an alcoholic. It's been 27 hours since my last drink. I was working the program a number of years ago and stayed sober for three years. The last nine have been Hell! I realize today that the program only works if you continue to work it. I don't want to make the same mistakes this time around. Fear and shame has kept me out of the rooms, for a long time. With Gods help and your support, I now have hope. Thanks for this wonderful site. Later, John P.
Member: Doug M
Location:
Date: August 25, 2002
Time: 02:46 AM
I agree, pour it in the sink. Even make a little CEREMONY out of it. But don't forget that even if it's not in your fridge, alcohol is EVERYWHERE out there. On TV, in convenience and grocery stores, restaurants, in other people's conversations, and the list goes on. Don't develop a phobia of alcohol, that you won't be able to cope with it around you, because it will STILL be all around you. Just remember that God gives you the strength to refuse that first drink, and that you always have support, both from God and from us fellow recovering alcoholics.
Member: Madelaine E
Location: South Texas
Date: August 25, 2002
Time: 03:22 AM
((AnneC)),((BillC)), ((Room)) Pour it out, Anne! I've kept it at home before, trying to rationalize not pouring it out. It doesn't work. It's too easy to get. If we can't get rid of it we're just deluding ourselves about quitting. You don't need a reminder like that. You'll be reminded in many ways, every day. Bill C--Yes, there's hope for you. Get a Big Book and read it, Go to AA F2F meetings. Come to this site for support. Many people have lost everything and come back. I'm here and have 35 days. That's a miracle. Miracles happen in AA. As long as you have the desire not to drink, AA can work for you. Give it a try and keep coming back.