Member: Tracy
Location: England
Date: February 16, 2003
Time: 11:52 AM
Yes it makes for a more peaceful life, have only just discovered this, if i start condeming someone else i feel the punch's twice as much as my intended victim did. tracy.v@ntlworld.com
Member: Tracy
Location: England
Date: February 16, 2003
Time: 11:52 AM
Yes it makes for a more peaceful life, have only just discovered this, if i start condeming someone else i feel the punch's twice as much as my intended victim did. tracy.v@ntlworld.com
Member: Kim V
Location: kvaughn@madsion.main.nc.us
Date: February 16, 2003
Time: 06:36 PM
Kim V here alcoholic. ok "Live and let live' I guess the way I feel about that is this. I need to keep the focus on me. What other people do is not by business. If what another peron is doing is affecting me, I can choose not to let it by not having that person in my life. My promary purpose is not to judge other people, my primary purpose is to stay sober and to pass what I have onto other suffering alcoholics. Today it is about me doing the next right thing. thanks for letting me share.
Member: Barry S>
Location: North Hollywood, CA
Date: February 16, 2003
Time: 06:42 PM
My name is Barry and I am an alcoholic...just checkin this place out..I didn't drink today..god bless..
Member: Trish K.
Location: So. California
Date: February 16, 2003
Time: 08:51 PM
Hello, Trish K, alcoholic - (I have trouble spelling that word!)....Live and Let live - like the Serenity Prayer? I am working that -- I find when I try to control that which is not mine to control I get myself all in knots and restless and it's not pretty. I loose sleep and worry and still nothing changes. I need to let go and let God - I guess would be one way to put it. Thanks for letting me share. Wishing all a good and sober week.
Member: gallagher
Location: seoul, korea
Date: February 16, 2003
Time: 08:52 PM
TREATMENT/ REHABS/ D-TOX sorry for being off subject, but i need some info about rehabs in the usa. fyi, i don't have a lot of money saved or health insurance. what are my options for staying at a rehab for about a week. i really think inpatient treatment would be best for me at first, but how much will this cost? are there any free clinics? are the conditions hell? i'm sure it depends on each state. thanks for any info. -- good luck on the next 24
Member: Michele
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Date: February 16, 2003
Time: 09:50 PM
This is such a perfect topic for where I am. A very close friend and ex came to me to talk about his life (lots of drinking, married girl doesnt hardly know while drunk)And my first reaction is to help to try to fix it...I cannot do this. I need to stay seated in the back of MY bus and let God drive, not try and climb on and drive other peoples busses. They have to manage their own bus! Working this part of my program hard today! :)
Member: Michele
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Date: February 16, 2003
Time: 09:51 PM
Oh yea!I am Michele and I AM an alcoholic!!
Member: Lisa K
Location: Michigan
Date: February 16, 2003
Time: 10:42 PM
Hi All,Lisa here I am an alcoholic and by the grace of God and AA I am sober today!!! Live and Let Live!!! that gets hard sometimes but I can only control ME and my life. I pray for the ones that wont give themselves to this program. I Love the bus thing thats really cool I'll have to remember that one. it is a common thing for me an alcoholic to want to drive my OWN bus,but God does a much better job. I've taken the wrong road all my life. I'm on the right road to recovery now and letting people live their own lives has taken alot of stress off me. Thanks for being here and keeping me sober! have a happy and sober week!!(galager) when you get to the states get out the phone book and start making calls! you'll find something GOOD LUCK!!!!
Member: Ed Z.
Location: Ohio
Date: February 16, 2003
Time: 10:53 PM
Ed Z. alcoholic, Gallagher since you are in Korea geography and logistitics become a stumbling block for a second. Treatment centers will teach you how to get to AA meetings. The most important issue with sobriety and treatment center for person is to attend AA meetings. First thought find an AA meeting become a yes person and go to any lengths at AA meetings to stay sober. If you want to stop drinking and have the desire to stay stopped find AA close. I am not a substance abuse specialist, only sober 15 years in May 03. One specialist who is in recovery may be preferred. Price of treatment in money not biggest concern, desire for a clean and sober life at all lengths is. Hell for most alcoholics becomes our denial of the extent of damage caused by our drinking behavior. God Speed, prayers and love.
Member: Iris O.
Location:
Date: February 17, 2003
Time: 11:58 AM
I have to live my own life first. If I am not living my life I will try to live someone elses and that creates endless problems. Another way to say it is "Mind my own business."
Member: Jackie
Location: England
Date: February 17, 2003
Time: 01:29 PM
Great subject! I find it difficult to let go sometimes. I've just returned to work after 4 months off, most people are fantastic, had lots of hugs today. My problem is one colleague, a very wet alcoholic who tries to make my life very difficult. She's always bitching and backstabbing and deliberately puts herself on the same shift as me. I know that I've got to concentrate on my sobriety and try to pray for her that she'll find sobriety and peace but it's hard cause she really scares me. It seems like the more fuss everyone makes of me the more she hates me. I dont ask them to and try to just get on with the job. Anyone got any advice?
Member: Kelly M
Location: NH
Date: February 17, 2003
Time: 05:15 PM
Hi ((Jackie)), Congrats on being back to work. As for the co-worker, I think she looks at you as a threat because your sobriety reminds her that she is sick. It does not make it right but I reccomend doing something I taught my kids. I always told them to be the bigger person. I would be nice to her and ignore her jibes at getting you upset. If you don't react you win. You also set an example to your other coworkers. As hard as it is don't let her rent space in your head. Resentments cause relapses! I hope this helps. Kelly
Member: Joe P
Location: Chicago
Date: February 17, 2003
Time: 05:45 PM
My name is Joe, and I am an alcoholic. Live and Let Live. Not a slogan I use at all regularly. Let’s take a look. Live. We are given two options outlined in the first two steps, to die or to live. The first step tells us what will happen if we choose alcohol. “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol – that our lives had become unmanageable.” Alcohol means an inability to stop drinking, to the point of insanity and death. To drink is to die for us alcoholics. The other option is to live. The second step, “Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity”, shows us the hope, that there is some power by which we do not have to drink. We can be restored to the sanity of sobriety. Live – to have contented sobriety. The working of all 12 Steps results in contented sobriety – to live happy, joyous, and free. Choose Life – choose to live by taking the 12 Steps. Let Live. Allow others to make their own choices regarding these matters. I can share with you what has worked for me, but I have to let you make your own decisions and take the Twelve Steps. Thanks for all the comments. Joe – email: joep041699@mindspring.com
Member: JASON L.
Location: PENNSYLVANIA
Date: February 17, 2003
Time: 06:00 PM
HELLO,JASON L.,RECOVERING ADDICT AND ALCOHOLIC,FOR ME,EVEN BEFORE I GOT INTO AA,NA,I ALWAYS HAD TO LET PEOPLE BE WHO THEY ARE NOMATTER IF I LIKED THEM OR NOT.I FIND THAT NOMATTER HOW GOOD A PERSON YOU ARE,OR YOUVE BECOME,SOMEONE SOMEWHERE IS ALWAYS GOING TO HAVE SOMETHING BAD TO SAY ABOUT YOU,OR WHAT YOUR DOING!SO SCREW IT,LIVE AND LET LIVE,AND DONT WORRY ABOUT WHAT OTHERS ARE SAYING ABOUT YOU,OR THE THINGS THAT YOU DO!!!
Member: James B
Location: Texas
Date: February 17, 2003
Time: 07:55 PM
Hello, I’m a newcomer who is so ashamed of myself for being a drunk. I know if I continue to drink I will lose wife, family, job, and sanity. I am so embarrassed/ashamed to go to a in-person meeting that I find it very difficult to go because I think I will have a nervous breakdown in front of everyone-but I feel I must if I’m going to get any better-Any advice on how to deal with the shame/fear ?–Thanks in advance
Member: Karen P.
Location: Wrightsville & Atlanta, GA
Date: February 17, 2003
Time: 08:55 PM
((James))I use online meetings because I have trouble sharing in F2F. I'm pretty shy. Your problem sounds like a different one. You haven't yet digested that everyone at a meeting is there for the same reason. You will get a lot of support there, and there is nothing you can do wrong. I have developed a strong bond with people I know at AA. They accept me as I am, and they don't ask me to be anything else. The way to deal with the shame/fear is to GO. It won't kill you, and you'll feel better afterward. The group I go to welcomes newcomers and says they are the most important person in the room. You can cry, shake, whatever, and you will be accepted. If I am wrong you can come back and tell me off, but I encourage you to brace yourself and just go. My best thoughts will go with you. Thanks for letting me share.
Member: Kerry B 3/21/80
Location: Idaho
Date: February 17, 2003
Time: 09:00 PM
James - Your shame is part of the disease, and will keep you from seeking help if you continue to listen to it. None of us were proud of our alcoholism. I suggest you call your local AA central office (should be in the phone book) and talk to someone there. If you don't want to go by yourself, ask if there is anyone there that will either go with you, or meet you there. I wasn't able to "think" my way into going to the first meeting, I just had to chuck all that pride and do it. I was only 23, imagine what my head was telling me I was going to encounter when I got there! It was so much different than I could've ever imagined. Asking here is a good thing James - glad you did. Keep coming back!
Member: a frank junior
Location: "GREEN LAND"
Date: February 18, 2003
Time: 04:15 AM
live and let live.. well. if you got a problem, then its yours. if i don't co'dependantly run around after you and "let you "make me responsible for your feelings.. and your offended then its just to bad. your allowed, but don't forget,, so am i. the reason i share this today is because i have noticed this pattern with alkies in aa.. typically the newer ones, but not always. They don't understand why their power trip antics don't work with me,, so they get curious and stare at me, in the meetings, they wonder what it is about me that they don't understand, they don't know how to comunicate and just ask questions so to make themselves feel better they conclude that you must be sick in some way. i love the program and many of the people,, don't get me wrong, but i gotta say it.. there are some people who aren't gonna like ya when ya start to get well.. and you just gotta be so happy about it... and just hope you can add more like them to your list of "Who doesn't like me now. And if you meet anyone who sounds like they have all the answers.. my suggestion is to run fast, cause the more you stay around aa the more you realize that none have all the answers for everyone else.. and for god's sake realize that your gonna meet some really sick people there, i mean it's alcoholics, you think that we were model citizens or something? and when they talk, if their not talkin about doin the steps and maybe offering to "guide" you through them, so that you can get sober, then its probably a bunch of bullshit. really now; what could the dambed really have to say to the dambed eh? do the steps. change or be very uncomfortable and then maybe die. its really simple.. you wanna die or stay uncomfortable? then go ahead, some people are better off dead,, and they know it and they chose it.. to bad for them,, i'm gonna live. i got god. and i love being sober
Member: Landscape Ray
Location: scotland
Date: February 18, 2003
Time: 04:58 AM
((((Jackie)))) i dont know if your bosses knows about your illness if they do then speak to them! your soberiety is now the most important thing in your life so no-body messes with it ! i dont know if you could go to this woman and explain whats going on in your life! if you dont feel up to it then maybe the first option would be advisable! only suggestions but the best of luck God is with you! ((((James)))) make a phone call buddy and explain how you feel and maybe someone will contact you and take you to meets! you say you will loose everything then you know you have to do something! best of luck< regards RAY ,, mclaren.landscapes@ntlworld.com
Member: Thomas M.
Location: Fl
Date: February 18, 2003
Time: 05:09 AM
Thomas here, alkie/addict. James B., shame and fear is a lot better than jail and death. It does get better, keep coming back, go to meetings and read the Big Book.
Member: Bob B
Location: Vanderbilt Mi
Date: February 18, 2003
Time: 05:27 AM
Bob here, alcoholic. If I have taken step one then I have admitted my life is unmanageable and then I want to try and govern/manage/control someone else's life? I have heeard it said I should clean up my own backyard before I complain about others. If I bankrupt my company as I did my life I would not want to hire me to run it a second time nor would any other sane person. Hell, I'm insane. No one needs that in their lives. I guess I better just see if I can get me sober/sane.
Member: Thomas M.
Location: Fl
Date: February 18, 2003
Time: 06:36 AM
Thomas here, alkie/addict. James B., shame and fear is a lot better than jail and death. It does get better, keep coming back, go to meetings and read the Big Book.
Member: Serena
Location: IL
Date: February 18, 2003
Time: 11:21 AM
Serena, alcoholic. I took a sip of alcohol the other day. Stupid, dangerous, insane, yes. It was about a teaspoonful. Was it a relapse? If I lost my sobriety date then I might as well really blow out. If not then I can move forward. Help?
Member: FrankD
Location: NJ
Date: February 18, 2003
Time: 12:42 PM
((Serina)), It's not your sobriety date you need to worry about, but your sobriety itself. Only you know if it was a slip, and you didn't say what you intended by taking the alcohol. For me flirting with alcohol could set up cravings for more, and for me that would be a death sentence. I don't believe I could do this again. There is always room to move forward, please do. For me live and let live means to worry about my own side of the street, and let others worry about theirs. To carry the message, be of service if able, and not judge another. Hard to do sometimes. Frank
Member: Darlene
Location: Pa
Date: February 18, 2003
Time: 04:48 PM
hey darlene here acoholic, live and let live hard for me to do sometimes but then i think i sure made a mess of my life when i tried to take the wheel and i can't change anyones way of thinking or doing only god can. thanks for letting me share. (((james))) go to AA meetings lots of meetings, you will find as i have we are all there for the same reason, we share the same mentalty the same embarassments, the shame the guilt, all of it different, yet the same. i felt so happy to realize i was not alone. no matter what i was going through someone there was going through worse. or simular experiences,it made me bring my problems into perspective.and brang hope where there once was none.the fellowship of AA is the best feeling in the world. go you will be glad you did
Member: Kelly M
Location: NH
Date: February 18, 2003
Time: 05:21 PM
Hi All, Live and let live. Great statement. Tougher in real life to follow for me. I'm a natural at being everyones kickstand. I genuinely like to help others but have tried to get away from being a co-dependent enabler. The feeling of powerlessness over someone I care about falling effects me. Watching someone you love kill themselves and not be able to help is so hard. I'm learning to step back and take care of myself first. Live And Let Live. I can't save the world but I can save myself. Picking up a drink won't help them or me. I have been praying to God to alleviate my feelings of powerlessness. I'm far from clean and serene but I have the first part right. I was snowed in till 4 but can get out now and will share at a meeting tonight. I don't always share but it is good to know that when I need to I can and get feedback from other alcoholics. I WANT TO GET BETTER. My best thinking got me here so I need to learn a new way to deal. God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change. Thanks for letting me share. Kelly
Member: AZbill
Location: Sierra Vista, Arizona
Date: February 18, 2003
Time: 07:12 PM
Serena, I would have to know your motive for taking that teaspoon of alcohol. If it was accidental so be it. I once took a mouthful accidently, but when the taste of alcohol hit my ole tastebuds I spit it out on the hostesses rug. He he he. If you intended to take that teaspoon, then that was an incredibly stupid thing to do. Just be grateful I am not you sponsor. LOL. The definition of sober is temperate or sparing in the use of alcohol, or not drunk. Alcoholics can never be sparing or temperate. Period. However, technically you did not get drunk, therefore you stayed sober. The changing of your sobriety date is up to you. Your last statement.."I may as well blow it out" is the exact reason we cannot take even an eyedropper full. Instead of blowing it out you should get on your knees and thank the God of your understanding that you escaped a very dangerous situation unscathed. While you are at it, again give thanks I am not your sponsor :) Bill az-bill@mindspring.com
Member: Rob W
Location: Akron, OH
Date: February 18, 2003
Time: 10:08 PM
Rob here, alcholic... I'm only 4 days into my sobriety, but not new to the program. I remained sober for 1 year before I quit going to meetings. I was in great shape and my life had picked back up. I stopped reading the book and working the steps because I was now in control(yeah right). I then decided to drink a few beers one night with a new girlfriend thinking I could get back on the wagon. Those few beers turned into 3 years of the hardest, crippling drinking of my life. "Live" is the choice I'm going to make. Thats what brings me here. A baby step to help push me back into doors of my local aa? I don't know at this point. I do know this site is a comfort,and reading your comments has given me some ambition to pursue life sober. Death is my other option...its insane that you have to think about making a choice. Living is what I need to work on in this early stage. I'm to tired and sick anymore to put forth the attempt to control others(although I know that trait will try to creep back in as I learn how to crawl again. ) I know the "let live" aspect is there. Not gaining some kind of control of others made my life seem more out control. Discecting others and saying the right thing to get my way only made things worse.(People catch on quik, and you can lose a lot of good people in your life by choosing not to "Let Live") -Rob
Member: Craig W
Location: Ont. Canada
Date: February 19, 2003
Time: 04:12 AM
Craig W. here . Hi Im one of you, Turning it over again for another 24 hrs. #1 for me today is avoiding resentment. The industry I work in almost promotes active alchoholisim. I cant change the people places or things around me I can only work on Craig. Prayer and letting go of selfishness, anger, greed, frustration, heck all the 7 deadly's keeps me sober ODAT. I had to stop playing GOD in order to heer what he was trying to tell me. For years I avoided making that (decision)! Now I share peace, contentment, less anger at the idiots that surround me (still sick) More prayer needed. Thanks all this is a great site.
Member: Monique C.
Location: Gainesville FL
Date: February 19, 2003
Time: 06:46 AM
Hello. I am Monique an alcoholic from Florida. I've been trying to get sober since 1999 and have been able to put together 6 months but no more. Today is my day 4 as well and glad to be back and very happy to find this site. For me "live and let live" has taken a huge weight off my shoulders. My active alcoholic sister lives next door and two nights ago I heard what I thought were 5 gunshots at around 3 a.m. I was laying in bed thinking, "Well, there goes my sister, her two dogs, and her two kids." I was tempted to jump up and run over, but I didn't. I guess that's acceptance. They have their own higher powers. (It turns out they are still alive -- if the sound was gunshots, it didn't come from their house.) Who am I to judge others? From experience I know, if I do, one day I will find myself walking in their shoes and not doing a very good job of it. Also focusing on someone else's life is a dishonest tool I use to keep my attention off myself and the work I need to do in my program. This online site is great. I am a single working mother of a 6-year old son with very little support (my living close relatives are drunks too) and find it difficult to get to a meeting every day. This, my sponsor, and reading the big book have helped me a lot. Also it's pretty cool to see how far AA stretches and to feel a fellowship with all you guys all over the globe and to feel close to you. I pray for you (and me) to stay sober today.
Member: Serena
Location: IL
Date: February 19, 2003
Time: 10:37 AM
Frank and Bill, thanks for your comments. My sip of alcohol was no accident, it was deliberate flirting with death. I have 2 1/2 yrs sobriety and have gone from the same shame and pain James speaks of, to a life that is rich and full. People love me and trust me. No one's mad at me. I held on to a responsible position even when I could no longer balance a checkbook; now I have a little money in savings. What a miracle! I work on gratitude daily. I go to meetings daily. But I am still sick and sometimes unwilling to do what I have to. I have a problem w/someone in the program. It's been eating at me because I refuse to deal with it. Also this weekend I saw a play that brought up some old bad feelings in me; sitting there in the dark my first thought was that if I had to bring that stuff up and out in order to get better, I'd rather commit suicide. Leaving the play I prayed and thought it was behind me. Over the wkend I started "missing" drinking. By Sun night, I was willing to turn my back on all you people and the program and life I love, for the sake of a drink. So I tasted my husband's bottle. I had "no effective mental defense." But the higher power intervened and I put it down. That night and next morning I felt sick, as if hungover. It's fear of losing everything this program has given me. SO NOW... back to 1,2,3. Esp Step 2, knowing my HP will carry me through if I allow Him. Still lots of fear, but He's brought me through worse. Thanks again and sorry for the long post. PS Bill, I do thank God you're not my sponsor! :)
Member: Dean W.
Location: Southern NJ, USA
Date: February 19, 2003
Time: 01:36 PM
Hey, All: My name is Dean W. and I am an alcoholic and prescription drug addict. Fresh out of two weeks in rehab following a relapse. Prior to my relapse, I had fifteen years clean and sober. So, for today, all I CAN do is live and let live. I don't have an ounce of energy to devote to anything besides my own sobriety and, perhaps, what experience, strength and hope I can offer a still suffering alcoholic/addict. But I do know this: There IS life and hope after a relapse. For a while, I wasn't sure there could be. I'm grateful to be alive today. Thanks for letting me share.
Member: Darretta
Location:
Date: February 19, 2003
Time: 01:41 PM
My name is Darretta and I'm an alcoholic. My God, how many times have I said that. I used to believe it, then I didn't believe it, now I'm saying it again. I feel like such a loser. I can't let go of anything now that I started drinking again. It has gotten the best of me once again. I've never gotten past 9 months of sobriety. I always think I can control it. My heart is so heavy right now, I feel like it's going to break. I am powerless, my life is definitely unmanageable. I have to start going to meetings again but I'm afraid. I can't sleep, I can't eat, but at least I'm not drinking. It's only been 34 hours and I feel horrible. I hate myself for hurting people and I feel I don't deserve to be loved. I'm just too much trouble. How many times can I pick myself up and start over? I need help. Thanks for letting me post.
Member: Katie G.
Location: Maryland
Date: February 19, 2003
Time: 03:53 PM
Katie here and I am an alcoholic, well, I have 2weeks sober tomorrow and feeling o.k. about it. More happy and alot more time to spend with my children. No car so I can't go anywhere. Been alittle cranky but I feel that will pass. Going to my A.A. meetings has been teaching me alot not just reconzing I have a problem, but getting help for it. Also learning not to be around the same places I used to . Even though I think I have strength, I think the temptation will be too much for right now. As for live, and let live I think there is a certian thing that kept me living and that is a higher power , I just hope someday I can help someone the same way that all of my friends are supporting me right now. Stay sober and god bless.
Member: Jason M.
Location: Memphis, TN
Date: February 19, 2003
Time: 07:10 PM
Jason M. here....alcoholic/addict. After 6 months of sobriety, I'm fearing falling back into the bottle. My G/f hit me today and it brought back a lot of pain that I thought I'd learned how to deal with..I guess I've not solved that resentment yet...time to start back at 1. I'm off the topic I know, but this is something that caused the root of my drinking 6 years ago.
Member: Bob B
Location: Vanderbilt Mi
Date: February 19, 2003
Time: 10:48 PM
Bob, alcoholic. Suggestion for those having a problem with accepting their desease. Would you be able to accept it if you were diagnosed with Cancer or MS or the like? It is nothing to be ashamed of unless after realizing it that we don't do anything about it. Alcoholism is a blessing in disguise. I would not have a life but would be living vicariously as most do without this cross I bear. How many with uncurable diseases would welcome the chance to be able to treat their disease with 12 simple steps? Gratitude is the best attitude for me. try it see if it helps
Member: Melanie
Location: Akron, Ohio, USA
Date: February 20, 2003
Time: 01:05 AM
Hello friends,I'm Melanie an alcoholic. ROB, AKRON, OHIO-- I would like to invite you to my home group! It's the Monday Night Beginners Group every Monday at 6:30 p.m. We meet in the basement of Christ the King Church on Creighton Ave. It's off Tallmadge Ave at the traffic light where McDonald's used to be, by the temporary library branch. It's the only church on the street! We will be discussing sponsorship this coming Monday. There's also a speaker's meeting at 7:30p.m. in the same location, same night. Anybody else want to join us? The more the merrier!
Member: Kathleen
Location: Florida
Date: February 20, 2003
Time: 01:24 AM
Hello Everyone, Kathleen here alcoholic. Jason...your g/f HIT you???? sounds to me like you need to get out of that relationship. Abuse is never acceptable. Live and Let live doesn't mean letting someone walk all over you and abuse you.... I used to be that way when I was drinking. Would allow people to abuse me, walk all over me and whatever. Thanks to this wonderful program of AA I like myself enough today to not allow others to treat me that way. True, I can't control their actions however I can remove myself from harmful situations... Keep coming back it really does work.. Kathleen
Member: Gage
Location: La
Date: February 20, 2003
Time: 01:56 AM
I'm Gage, an alcoholic. I have worn a huge chip on my shoulder for as long as I can remember. I'm needy and greedy, emotionally and spiritually ill. Possibly, I'm mentally ill too. None of that makes me any different from a whole lot of people in this world. What does seperate me from a lot of them is the fact that if I don't find a way to change, those defects will probably kill me. There are some people inside and outside of AA whom I like a lot. There are some whom I don't like, and some I r-e-a-l-l-y don't like. Fortunately, it's not the people in AA that will save me if anything will. "The fellowship" is for giving and receiving support, but it's not "the program". The program is the 12 Steps. In one of them, Step 7, it says that I am to ask God to remove these shortcomings. It doesn't say that I am to ask God to help ME remove them, and that's good because I can't. I've tried to reinvent myself a number of times in my life and it's never worked. You can put new shingles on it, but if the frame is rotten, the house is going to fall down. Part of what keeps me in AA, and keeps me trying to do these steps to the best of my ability, (as weak as that might be at times), is the fact that as sick and angry as I get about other people, somewhere along the line I've started to believe most of the time that what really makes me sick and angry is me. That's progress, because I used to believe that the problem was YOU, the world and its people. In the meantime, I resolve every morning that I'm not going to drink just for that day. And I try to keep some joy and gratitude in sobriety and that helps quite a bit too. (By the way, they've got a conga line going in the next room. Why don't some of you folks join in?)
Member: Bobby A.
Location: Plum, Texas
Date: February 20, 2003
Time: 02:21 PM
Daretta, pickyourself up and start over again as many times as it takes.When your ready to accept who you are and are willing to accept step 1 then youll be able to move forward victoriously!I dont want to get preachy so enough of that.Live and let live is good because I try to follow that one as much as possible.It doesnt mean that I cant "judge" something ,someone or some place because I can in regards to discernment which is highly pertinent to my sobriety.However If I find something wrong with some person its because there is something in me that needs to be taken care of.I gotta find out what my part in the matter is.I got 8 months as of today!Life is getting better and a little more clear!
Member: Chris H.
Location: Fla.
Date: February 20, 2003
Time: 05:43 PM
I'm Chris --I'm an alcoholic/addict////TO Daretta...Congratulations!! You're not drinking!!!..I know you've heard this before, but it does get better. You are doing the best thing by not drinking....I can fully understand how you feel that your whole life is falling apart, but I can attest to the fact that if you just hang in there and don't drink, things will get better...I know how dark things can look. I've been there, and sometimes I still get there. But I am learning to look ahead of my circumstances and trust that the pormises Will happen. As far as live and let live, what a great premise to live by. Easier said than done, but when I do , my life is certainly better. ANd so is everyone elses! WHen I start trying to "fix" everyone else, I quit doing the things I need to do for myself..ANd that is where I need to keep my focus...Have a sober weekend everyone!!!
Member: Michele
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Date: February 20, 2003
Time: 08:01 PM
Michele here, alcoholic! Just wanted to share my sobriety B-Day with you all...30 DAYS!! I really like this meeting. Everyone has good input and support:) Thanks for sharing my B-Day with me!
Member: Gages' wanna be wife
Location: Smitten"
Date: February 21, 2003
Time: 12:28 AM
Gage.. marry me... what you said about the fellowship "NOT BEING THE PROGRAM" whewwwwww!! man oh man. there have been times that i thought i would get drunk if i subjected myself just one more time.. to the dear fellows who attend aa here in ...opps... almost blew their anonymity.. ha! kidding anyhow.. do the steps and change or go crazy... either that or you can be of maximum service to god by bullshitting about your recovery.. seen lots do that! done it myself.. but gettin better. oh pleeeaassee please can i have all the answers.
Member: Gerry C.
Location: Florida
Date: February 21, 2003
Time: 06:29 PM
I am Gerry and I am an alcoholic. Live and let live for me is to stop my people pleasing behavior. If I can stop myself from trying to please everybody by just saying "no" from time to time, I feel better. Often, it is really hard for me, but the result is that I feel better about myself. Slowly, I am thinking less of what other people think about me and just being me; I am letting myself live and let live.
Member: thomas
Location: fla
Date: February 22, 2003
Time: 09:38 AM
Way to go Michele, keep coming back.
Member: Donna
Location: Graceville, Fl
Date: February 22, 2003
Time: 03:24 PM
Donna Alcoholic Live & let live is one thing that I have had a hard time with. I came here & had been a bartender for many years so with that & being a wife & mother I thought it was my job to run & fix all of you. What a relief to find out that is not my job. I hear many stating live or die but what keeps me in the rooms is fear of drinking & not dying having to live in that way of life. No thank you working the steps & changing is so much the easier softer way. Just try it.
Member: Bob P.
Location: anywhere there are wild trout
Date: February 22, 2003
Time: 04:41 PM
As an alcoholic, I have a hell of a time handling my own life and staying away from the first drink. Given that, I don't have any business trying to handle yours..
Member: Dennis K
Location: PA
Date: February 22, 2003
Time: 05:47 PM
Dennis K here, alcoholic. To James in Texas, I know exactly the shame and fear you feel - I feel it, too. I had been sober for 4 weeks, then went to an out-of-town busines meeting where the free booze was flowing. I did fine the first day and most of the 2nd, but the last night I thought I could take just a drink or 2 and be OK. Wrong!!! I got drunk, probably did stupid things, and have had that feeling of "impending doom" ever since (2 days now). I had to admit to my wife what I did, and she was ashamed and dissapointed, too. This morning I read Feb. 10 of "A Day at a Time" and it says "we may equate beginning again with a previous failure. This is isn't necessarily so." The prayer for that day is "May I understand that past failures need not hamper my new courage. Former failings, once faced and rectified can be a more solid foundation for a new life than easy-come success". Today I Will Remeber says "Failings can be footings for recovery." After reading this, I got down on my knees and prayed to God to take over my life, because I've done a lousy job of it. I thanked Him for all the wonderful things in my life. And I started to feel better. I still have much work to do, starting with Monday when I must apologize to people I work with. What I learned from this is that I can not take a single drink. If the people I'm with want to drink, that's fine for them, but it's poison for me. To Serena, don't take that drink. You don't want to feel like I've been feeling the last 2 days. For Darretta, you DO deserve to be loved. I felt the same way earlier today, then I remembered that if no on else loves me, at least God does. For Jason, don't fall back into that bottle - you'll just feel way worse. Remember the pain, shame, fear after your last drunk? You don't want that, believe me - I'm still there. To Michele, 30 days sober is awesome! Congratulations! You are my hero. I'll be back in 30 days to let you know I've made it. For now, I'm just going to make it through the rest of this day. Bob B in Mi had a good point - we have a disease, so nothing to be ashamed about that. We should be grateful that we can treat it with the 12 steps. God bless you all, and thanks for letting me share.
Member: Q.T.
Location:
Date: February 22, 2003
Time: 07:28 PM
There you go, Bob P. My sentiments exactly!