July 25 - 31 2010.

First one here? Start the meeting with a topic of your choice. Please compose a topic that relates to alcoholism.

Please read the posting guidelines for this meeting.

Staying Cyber is conducting a Group Inventory and invites all members to participate. You will see the link to it directly under the Business Meeting. You must be logged in to access it.
Questions 7, 8 and 9 are now posted.

Hello,

My name is Marissa and I am here observing for a Social Work in Addictions. Although I am here mainly to observe, I would also like to contribute my thoughts.

I know that when I drink the things that are most important to me become clouded. It's easy to blow my family off for another hour at the party, or skip valuable time I could be spending with my kids to go out with my friends. I agree with Jay that it's the drama that keeps it exciting.

But when I am with my kids, and not drinking, I enjoy simple things like hearing my two-year-old son's first stretches of the morning, something I often sleep right through. I enjoy having the energy to get up with them in the morning and enjoy the wonderful moods they are in after having a good night's sleep. I love feeling good enough to get out with them and play at the playground, or take them hiking, instead of hiding from the sun behind dark glasses. I like exhausting myself so that come 9pm, instead of having the urge to get my makeup on and head for the bar, I am completely content to bed headed to bed.

While I am not a heavy drinker, I can still see the differences in my life between the weekends I go out, and the weekends I go ALL out...with my kids. :)

Strength to you all.

It is hard for me to fully describe how much HAPPIER I am in my sobriety. The drama was never my issue. I see to much of that in my work life with my clients. I so hate drama, that the stress and anxiety with my relationship with my brother as it relates to me and between he, me and mother, often turned my life and myself upside down. Now sober, I have put that matter to rest, mostly, and I can't tell you the peace this has brought to me.

The simple things. Waking up in the morning without a hangover. Physically feeling good. Not waking up in a bad mood. Not going to bed in a bad mood. No longer having an overriding feeling of being unfulfilled. The stress of attempting to put a mask on to the outside world. I did not fool every one but I fooled a lot, mostly me.

Doing what I want and when I want to do it based on something else rather than based on my drinking schedule or because of not feeling well due to drinking.

Slowly repairing a relationship with my husband which I realized had deteriorated but I did not care that it had. I am lucky that I have him in my life. Another may taken a pass and opted out.

Living life and enjoying things without drinking. I had not realized how emotionally void and closed I was in the last year of my drinking. I have been sober for a year and finally I feel more emotionally open. I hadn't fully realized the extent of my emotional isolation until recently as it continues to release the last vestiges of its grasp. These things are often hard to see until you pass a certain point wherein you feel different. I continue to grow in these areas.

Being comfortable with my thoughts. Being comfortable with me. Recognizing my limitations in a clearer fashion and being ok with it. No more self-destructive anxiety and insecurities that the alcohol caused on my psyche. I hate what alcohol did to me. Alcohol is my arch enemy, my nemesis. It turned me into something I was not which has taken a very long time to restore and the process is ongoing. I am so very happy that I not only recognize this fact but that I have come to terms with it.

I don't think I have been happy nor content for the past ten years and I didn't fully realize the extent until I stopped drinking and worked a recovery program. AHH, relief. Finally some peace and serenity in the here and now that I don't have to escape in an attempt to find somewhere else ie. my yearly retreat to Colorado for a couple of days of comfort. I will continue to do this but I don't have to and it won't be for an escape.

Ah, the simple pleasure of not having to put my two-cents worth into other folk's point of view. The simple pleasure of being able to see the validity of multiple points of view. The simple pleasure of knowing between black and white just which shade of gray I prefer. The simple pleasure of enjoying a meeting in my own air-conditioned space. The simple pleasure of being able to feel hope and gratitude, instead of death and destruction. Happy sober Sunday, y'all!

Good Morning All
((Right on Beth))
Good Topic Jay
The key word for me in the topic is 'simple'. Before AA nothing was simple for me. I was always in a rat race. I had to be bigger and better than the next person, but I felt less than most of the time. To me drama was a way of life. Even now with 2 years under my belt when things are going good and the gears of my life are completely mesh, I feel like throwing a monkey wrench in the gears and start things to grind again because thats what makes me feel normal.
I have found that today when I simply do things to satisfy the spirit rather than the ego I get serenity. I now see that my ego can never be staisfied, it always wants more, it always wants me to be the master 'fixer'. If I apply the prinicples behind the steps my spirit is satisfied. As it says in the BB I'm no longer trying to fight anything or anyone, better yet I'm not trying to fix anything or anyone. I just live and let live, turn it over to God and let go. Peace of mind, true happiness and serenity are my reward.

Man what a good life I have today.

T.G.C.H.H.O



Edited by GordonM357 - 25 Jul 2010 at 7:04pm