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 Topic: February 7-13, 2010 Expectations = pre-meditatedPosted: 07 Feb 2010 at 9:27am |
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Topic: Expectations = pre-meditated resentments?
Please read the posting guidelines for this meeting. The full posting guidelines may be found here. Edited by administrator - 07 Feb 2010 at 9:46am |
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Robert B
Location: Nova Scotia |
Posted: 07 Feb 2010 at 1:16pm |
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I try not to expect to much,so I wont be dissapointed. After that horrible relapse and loss of employment,two years later in my new job Im just getting back on my feet. Things were going so well for me,I was actually expecting something bad to happen,and it did. It came in the form of a letter from the taxman that I owe 8000 in back taxes,from the year I didnt work,only drank,partied across the country several times,and lived in hotels.I took a bunch of money out of my retirement fund. Now 8k might not upset some people,but to me its ALOFM.(A lot of fucking money). So I made a bunch of phone calls that didnt help,and gradually sank into a mini depression,that it seemed only my dog could get me out of. She just loves me so much and it dosent matter to her how miserable I am,were going for a walk anyway. I actually kinda thought for a second"I should get drunk",but that thought instantly was replaced with,"Id rather stay employed". So its just an example of how I get to expect things to keep getting better,but theres always a setback here and there,thats life. Ive got to live it sober because I can no longer safley take adrink,and Im much better at it sober.
I think we can all expect our lives to get better if we stay sober,but that certainly dosent mean there will not be any bad times again. You only have to read this forum for awhile to learn of the courage some of these recovering alcoholics have shown in getting through the very worst of times sober. You can waste your time resenting the people or things that cause you the trouble,or you can decide to just suck it up and do the next best thing,the next right thing. Hope we have another great week like the last ones on here. |
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.No trees were killed during this post, however, a whole lot of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.
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joanna L.
Location: Laguna Woods |
Posted: 07 Feb 2010 at 2:14pm |
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((Robert B))You express yourself very well. I really had expectations that once I would do the Steps, and stay sober every problem would be solved. That was not the case. Many situations in my life - a re-location, the death of my mother, and financial loss all could have driven me back to my drinking days. No matter what the situation, handling it sober is better than the chaos of trying to cope - drunk. I am grateful that I found a very good Home Group, a wonderful sponsor, and my Early Sobriety Cyber friends - who share strength and courage.
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joanna L.
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Cally
Location: UK |
Posted: 07 Feb 2010 at 2:35pm |
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I'm Cally and I'm an alcoholic.
Hello ((Robert and JoannaL)) Expectations generally involve control that we don't have over people, places and things. I would like to know that I'll never drink again. I wanted the desire to drink to leave me a lot sooner than it did. I don't want my daughter to engage in a ridiculously dangerous stunt the minute I leave the room. I want people to agree with me, about everything, all the time. And I don't ever want to look a bit fat in that photo. If I expect everything to go my way, I'm going to be more disappointed than I am already. I can't drink on expectations that were unrealistic in the first place. ((DeborahH)) So good to hear from you and know that you're doing well x. I don't want to drink today. Edited by Cally - 07 Feb 2010 at 2:35pm |
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Fancy a drink, just the one, to clear your head, it won't be long....(The Levellers)
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RichInRecovery
Location: Colorado |
Posted: 07 Feb 2010 at 3:12pm |
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My name is Rich, I'm an alcoholic.
Having expectations is a sure way of having disappointments if things don't turn out the way I expected. I need to have a faith that things are going to turn out ok in the long run no matter how bad they may seem now. An expectation is usually based on my self will. Later. |
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Guests
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Posted: 07 Feb 2010 at 4:10pm |
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hey today is superbowl sunday! lets see, expectations. i dunno, expecting things to go well and they don't seems pretty human.
i think it helps me to ask for the tools i need as i go along. rather than plan everything out and pray for the package deal. basically life is darn hard and once I have accepted that as the foundation of things it all seems a bit more easy somehow. so my expectation is life is very hard and most things will not go as planned, and yet i still am horribly disappointed by things. oh well, grateful to be sober |
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Jeanne12381
Location: Concord, New Hampshire |
Posted: 07 Feb 2010 at 4:55pm |
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Good Morning, Everyone...
Like many of us, my expectations of sobriety were pretty much in line with what I had heretofore imagined marriage would be: namely, happily ever after... Truth be told, my life in sobriety has held many more challenges than te one I had when I was drinking. And I've been consistently grateful for that small fact, given that I dealt very poorly with all the good things which came my way when I was knee deep in vodka and valium. Suppose I had used my lack of coping skills to handle the very real living problems I have experienced in recovery??? The answer to that rather foolish question is obvious... The primary difference in me is the rather obvious one of sobriety plus an impressive array of living skills which were passed on to me by others in Alcoholics Anonymous. Not only does 12 step living allow a person to grow up a little, the discipline enables a search for a relationship with a higher power which pretty much guarantees an improvement in one's attitude and lifestyle... The reality is that I had more money when I was drinking, I was younger, healthier and more attractive. I had relationships, successful and healthy children and a lifestyle which was pretty darn easy...<grin> In recovery, I've had second chances to find success and happiness in ways I've never imagined and they are working very well. Interestingly enough, the losses, the sadness, the setbacks are somehow transformed into opportunities I come to recognize as the hand of my higher power challenging me into something better. Always, something better... With AA love and respect, Jeanne M. |
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"We shall not cease from exploration and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time..." T.S.Eliot
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beth k
Location: massachusetts |
Posted: 07 Feb 2010 at 6:44pm |
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What I have learned is that I can make plans, do the footwork and prepare the best that I know how. Then the result of the work and planning will be the best outcome possible.
I don't know what that outcome will be when I start, I can only imagine. There have been many times when the outcome is so much better than I planned I am stunned. There have been times that the outcome has fallen short.. when the outcome falls short, I just continue to work towards what ever my goal is. I figure if the outcome falls short then the work for the outcome I am hoping for is not done yet. It is important that my expectation or goal is flexible, especially if it involves other people.. because I have learned that I hardly control myself, and I certainly don't control other people. A lot of expectations and goals get into the idea of living in today.. outcomes and expectations are in the future, the prep work is today :-) Edited by beth k - 07 Feb 2010 at 7:42pm |
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Ann
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Posted: 07 Feb 2010 at 7:09pm |
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By doing the 12-steps of AA I have learned to think that good things will come and if not, then I take them one day at a time. When I was drinking I always thought of how things could and would go bad. We call that stinkin' thinkin' and it is definitely a sign of an alcoholic! If you haven't already, begin the 12-steps of AA with a sponsor.. they saved my life.. and got rid of the stinkin' thinkin'
Edited by Ann - 07 Feb 2010 at 7:10pm |
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derek d
Location: michigan |
Posted: 07 Feb 2010 at 7:17pm |
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'i dont know what i want but i want it real bad"
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If today you hear His voice harden not your heart
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February 7-13, 2010 Expectations = pre-meditated
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