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administrator 
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 Topic: February 7-13, 2010. Step 8.
Posted: 07 Feb 2010 at 9:18am |
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Topic Step 8.
Step 8 - Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became
willing to make amends to them all.
Please read the posting guidelines for this meeting.
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PeterP
Location: NYC Metro
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Posted: 07 Feb 2010 at 2:34pm |
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anyone there
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mel
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a.messenger349
Location: Eastern Wa.
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Posted: 07 Feb 2010 at 4:11pm |
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Peter - if you need someone to correspond with or even talk, click on my name and email so we can get in touch.
Easy Does It. Jay M.
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"I change me and you get better."
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Bill M.
Location: Colorado
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Posted: 07 Feb 2010 at 10:16pm |
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No reservations allowed here. My experince has lead me to believe that this is often the root of many of the problems in sobriety. It seems to be absolutely imperative that the 'ALL' is strictly followed in this step. This is only a willingness step but, to continue w/o first becoming willing on all counts does not seem to bring about the freedom and release that is otherwise found in 9-12. I think that step 8 is much more important than I often here around the tables.
Well time to go to SB party.
Thanks all for sharing.
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Sometimes you just have to put on your big girl panties and deal with it. Leaning Tree
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LeeU
Location: New Hampshire
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Posted: 08 Feb 2010 at 1:46am |
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Plop plop, fizz fizz, oh what a relief it is. (If you are too young to know, that's an old Alka-seltzer jingle.)I agree with Bill, coming to terms with "all" on our list is imperative. Half measures avail us NOTHING. And if we've done a true and honest and thorough 3rd step and relieved ourselves of the burden of trying to run our own show, we're actually home free. Just have to run the bases.
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Psalm 91, the ultimate shield for enduring protection. LeeU
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Doug A.
Location: Woodland Hills
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Posted: 09 Feb 2010 at 8:30pm |
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Doug A. Alcoholic.
Step 8 was scary for me because I thought I had to go out right away and start making amends. It was not until I listened to my sponsor that my fear was relieved. I made the list and put everybody from my 4th step on it and then I started to pray, I prayed for a long time. My sponsor told me before I make any amends to call him and and let him know my intentions and how I am going to go about making this amends. Some of them came fast and easy and some were hard to do.....the willingness was the key for me. I knew I had to do it sooner or later and God always seemed to orchastrate the whole deal.
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Doug A.
"Faith without works is dead".
It is in the BIG BOOK.
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TraceR
Location: Nevada
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Posted: 10 Feb 2010 at 8:08pm |
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Tracey Alcoholic
I just finished step 8. I am willing to make amends to all I have harmed. Now I just have to put it into action. Have made some amends, not so hard. At first I was making these amends difficult-thinking I had to list all my (in my head) harms I feel I caused these people. After discussing this in a F2F meeting, learned how to deal with step 9 simpler than I was going to do it. Keep it simple is what I have to remember. And be patient- I don't have to make all my amends in 1 day!! Thanks ((ALL)) for sharing.
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"Dare to reach out your hand into the darkness, to pull another hand into the light." ~Norman B Rice
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Kimi
Location: Quebec
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Posted: 12 Feb 2010 at 11:30pm |
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Step 8 was actually one of my favourite steps. Crazy, I know.
I wrote out lists and lists of people - how I had harmed them, why, what did I get out of it - what happened etc...
It felt quite cathartic getting it all out on paper.
In some strange way it felt like I was making amends to these people already in my heart. Just the beginning I know.
The hard part for me is Step 9. I've been sitting on that one for some time.
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Hugs, Nat
***********
“Qui me amat, amet et canem meum.”- St. Bernard, A.D. 1150, “Sermo Primus”...translation: "Whoever loves me, must also love my dogs."
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Jeanne12381
Location: Concord, New Hampshire
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Posted: 13 Feb 2010 at 1:46pm |
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My experience with the 8th Step has changed over time. Once, however, I was taught the real straight of it - that Step 8 was not the active amend step, but a process of forgiveness, willingness and readiness, I began to view it in a different light. And, that's when it started to work amazingly well..
If I have done my inventory and admission work effectively,then my higher power will have changed me to the point that I can recognize the harm I have done others. Not the harms done me, you understand, but the harms I have done. My higher power has also shown me how to avoid the pitfall of self-seeking amends - usually by using a skilled sponsor or spiritual advisor. If these facets of the 8th step are firmly in place, then I can rest assured that the right names are on my list for the right reasons...
Thus, I have no fear of the direct amends in the 9th step. No fears at all...
I made direct amends to all but one person on my first 8th step list. That amend was never acted upon directly because of the counsel of my sponsor. I used other methods with that one person...
Something I did not expect from the 8th Step but which steadily became part of my experience - my relationships with all people began to improve. And, I felt more love and compassion for myself. A lot of those feelings of guilt, shame and remorse began to slip away as I came to understand more rationally the wrongs I had done. Plus, I was able to view the people I had hurt in a new and different light. They were no longer objects to give me what I wanted or to stand in the way of my getting what I wanted. They were flesh and blood people, and I had harmed them in some way. Even when I felt I too had been harmed, I was able to put those feelings aside in favor of righting my own wrongs...
It's a very empowering process when it's committed in partnership with a higher power and directed by an older and wiser AA member...
The 12X12 tells me that this is the way I can experience healthy partnerships with other human beings. By having this willingness to make amends to those I have harmed...
It's worked well for me....very few fears now when I need to make an amend or admit I'm wrong...what a freedom!!!
With AA love and respect,
Jeanne M.
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"We shall not cease from exploration and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time..." T.S.Eliot
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February 7-13, 2010. Step 8.