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administrator 
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 Topic: February 7-13, 2010
Posted: 07 Feb 2010 at 9:13am |
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First one here? Please compose a topic of your choice. Keep your topic as related to alcoholism.
Please read the guidelines for this meeting.
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Georgen
Location: The Back of Beyond
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Posted: 07 Feb 2010 at 11:10am |
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My name is George and I am an alcoholic.
This is the first time I have ever been first one here. I have never had the chance to set the topic, so here goes nothing.
I spent the first eighteen years of my sobriety as an atheist. My HP was AA itself, in particular my home group. It was only three years ago that I found a non-material HP.
How did you come to believe ? What form does your conscious contact, prayer and meditation take ?
George
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RichInRecovery
Location: Colorado
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Posted: 07 Feb 2010 at 2:54pm |
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Hello all,
This is my first post to this group.
Good topic - the God thing. My wife is an atheist. I don't have the luxury of being an atheist. The only way I know how to stay sober is to follow the suggestions of my AA group. And they say I should come to believe in a power greater than myself.
I try not to over-think it. I don't need to know what God is, I just need to know that one exists (and it's not me) and can restore me to sanity. I don't need to know exactly what God's will for me is, I just need to make a decision to turn my will over to that HP. I'm pretty sure of a few things that my HP would not want me to do.
I like that it's termed "came to believe". It's not immediate for most people, it takes time. Be willing to believe, and sooner or later... God could and would relieve my alcoholism, if he (she) were sought.
Thanks for the topic, and thanks for being here. Good luck all with your sobriety.
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PeterP
Location: NYC Metro
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Posted: 07 Feb 2010 at 2:56pm |
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coming back..in big trouble had 15 good sober yrs and threw it away....during those yrs had strong prayer life..now the compulsion is back and having its way although not as bad as yrs ago..help
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mel
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DoLittleDoc
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Posted: 07 Feb 2010 at 3:01pm |
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I came to believe before I came to AA. Nice because the God stuff was not a problem.
I pray in the morning most every day, at least a quick 3rd & 11th. It is important for me to combine prayer and meditation with writing and exercise for the conscious contact to flourish. I try not to get too defined regarding HP - more of a turn it over to our misunderstanding of god...
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You will make mistakes, but if you are in earnest they will not drag you down. Instead, you will capitalize them. A better way of life will emerge when they are overcome.
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Big Book of AA p.117
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DoLittleDoc
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Posted: 07 Feb 2010 at 3:07pm |
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Hey PeterP - I have many friends who have gone back out after significant sobriety and most have had a hard time when first back in. It has just taken them longer to get in the swing of things. The fact is, that if we stay with it eventually it will take hold. It is so important not to let go of the program just before the miracle occurs.
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You will make mistakes, but if you are in earnest they will not drag you down. Instead, you will capitalize them. A better way of life will emerge when they are overcome.
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Big Book of AA p.117
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AnnW
Location: Anywhere USA
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Posted: 07 Feb 2010 at 3:28pm |
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Peter, if you spent 15 years sober, then you know what to do. Go back to the beginning; work your recovery program; get to an AA meeting; If you have not done so already, reacquaint yourself with the Big Book and start reflection anew; Last and not least, if you have a foundation in your life with prayer and spirituality, then go right back to it. You can overcome this bump in the road as you have done so already. You are just out of balance and must start NOW, not later.
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Jeanne12381
Location: Concord, New Hampshire
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Posted: 07 Feb 2010 at 4:36pm |
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Good Morning, All...
Georgen, when I read your choice of a topic, I had to grin ruefully to myself as it's one that is on my mind a good bit lately. Primarily because Step XI has assumed an even greater importance in my life, aka my sobriety, since my daughter succumbed to cancer last spring...
I now practice a sitting meditation which enables me to stay in the moment a lot more than I was able to do before, and, thus, the conscious contact with the god of my understanding has improved immeasurably. The most amazing piece of this is that practicing this particular sort of meditation has allowed me to see myself as I truly am - not as I may wish myself to be - and to understand more fully the choices and decisions I have made which have brought me to this place in my life...
I have prayed consistently since I sobered up. In fact, I'm one of the fortunate ones who had little difficulty in believing something bigger than myself could and would keep me sober a day at a time. Those were my roots in early sobriety, and they have stood me well ever since. Happily, the god of my understanding has changed consistently the more sober I have become, and today, I have less need to question and more ability to simply accept. I smiled when I read your comment about atheism being a luxury not affordable by the alcoholic, and I agree wholeheartedly. Which doesn't mean that I believe any of us should be forced into a faith pattern not of our own making. To the contrary, making friends with a power greater than ourselves is the essence of faith, and the beginning of making friends with ourselves, wherever we happen to be in our recovery...
RichinRecovery - I enjoyed your comments very much...
Mel - Relapsing after a good bit of time puts a person at great risk with his disease. However, I have seen any number of people begin the practice of 12 step recovery just as they did in the beginning of their first sobriety and emerge with a powerful and grateful recovery. Ann's comments about your knowing the actions to take are right on - you already know what we know or you couldn't have stayed sober for 15 years. Apply it now with the wisdom of relapse and you'll be safe from another first drink, a day at a time...I'll be thinking of you and wishing you well...
With AA love and respect,
Jeanne M.
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"We shall not cease from exploration and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time..." T.S.Eliot
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GordonM357
Location: Los Angeles
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Posted: 07 Feb 2010 at 7:34pm |
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Every morning before I get out of bed I ask my HP to help me to "Move my feet, guide my hands, calm my mind, warm my heart,open my eyes and my ears, control my urges and my mouth, so I can stay sober and be available to be of service to You and my fellows." I use to wakeup in the morning with a hundred resentments, fear, anger, self pity, and so on and so on. The only way I could deal with the day ahead was to take a booze shower. I drank until everything in my head became silent. As it was then and is now my spirituality began with the first person I made contact with in the morning. Imagine making contact with someone with all that crap in my head and drunk. I didn't make a lot of friends then,(well drunk friends maybe).
Because of the steps I now wake up with one or two resentments or fears, often none at all. I pray and meditate, read spiritual books and the first person I make contact with is my sponsor. My world around me is still the same but inside I am profoundly different. I'm just right.
Where did all this come from? I had not to power to change. I only had the power to lift a bottle or drug to my mouth. I only had the power to hurt others and feel guilt and shame. To die inside from self pity and remorse. I knew I had to find faith or die. Well I did, I call my HP God. I found him in every member I had met in AA, even the ones I didn't like. The road to recovery was laid in the heart of every member that came before me placed there by devine spiritual prinicples to live by. Placed there by Love.
I came to believe when I felt love and would do anything to help someone I hated. I had not the power to do this on my own.
Everyone has to find their own way to God. I found minE, all I had to do was seek.
T.G.C.H.H.O.
Edited by GordonM357 - 07 Feb 2010 at 7:38pm
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Gordon M.
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LeeU
Location: New Hampshire
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Posted: 08 Feb 2010 at 1:41am |
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My atheisim was my god for a long time-most of my life. When I started working each step, I jumped the gun on the 2nd step, assuming that a power greater than myself had to be the god of other people's religion. Specifically that of Christian's. Even though that's not what the step sez, that capitol P in power and all the literature makes it pretty clear. So it was easy for me to reject that god. Problem was, I didn't really think there was any power greater than me (like that makes sense!!!). I had to come, come to, and come to believe. Took a while. Glad no one gave up on me. I especially thank the guy who set me straight: "All you need to know about God is that there is one and you are not it." For some bizarre reason that made sense and I decided (maybe I just think "I" decided, maybe that was god doing for me what I couldn't do for myself!)to just go with it. So I started to pray, just the way suggested in the book. Still do, just the way suggested, with some embellishments I've picked up along the way. Truly as simple as it says. One foot in front of the other and move forward.
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Psalm 91, the ultimate shield for enduring protection. LeeU
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February 7-13, 2010